No Janet you can’t OWN running

[Janetsadick]

It’s not “your” hobby.

Nobody is stealing your thunder by taking up running.

If you faux roll your eyes and mention it again I’m going to throw a fucking stapler at your head

AIBU?

I was wondering that too, pax. Roy maybe?!

Roy-ing the boss sound naughty.

I like the babyname she owns. She has always loved it. Since forever.

Funny how people always say that about baby names, even names that were on absolutely NO-ONE'S radar 5 years ago then have a little flurry of popularity.

I had a friend who Janeted other friends. You could not see a friend, phone a friend, e-mail a friend or talk to a friend without her asking why the heck you did it without clearing it through her too.

She apparently owned all our friends, and sent me texts and e-mails abusing me when i had the temerity to go out for lunch with a mutual friend without telling her first. She also apparently owned my house. She told everyone I only found my house and bought it because of her say so (bought the house in 1997, met her for the first time in 2005. Made no difference). She even told me and DH she expected us to leave the house to her in our wills (over our own children) as she had 'sourced it' for us.

Someone said to me once;'Do you think that Janet is a little...umm.....proprietorial of people...'?

Yep. Nipped it in the bud just before my eldest was born in 2009. Up til last year I continued to get vicious christmas cards talking about my 'betrayal'. She's known for it though and most people just take it with a pinch of salt.

Waiting to see if it happens this year. I refuse to engage.

I've worked with a busy Janet. Janet (not her real name) was so busy, she had so much work. She even worked as she told everyone how busy she was. She also interfered in everyone else's work, giving them extra work to do because she was so busy and had so much work to do.

Not only did she work so hard including on her train commute, but she HAD to work despite having a toddler because they had a MASSIVE mortgage.

Twat boss thought she was the bee's knees. I don't think anyone else did.

Oh god I’ve just realised I own Neil Gaiman.

I’ve been a mega fan since the early 90s and now he’s become mainstream it’s weird. I’m either chuffed to bits when someone talks about him or seething with indignation that people think he’s this trendy new thing.

I am Janet.

Janet's a twat.

I had a colleague who was extraordinarily competitive about baking. I just chuck some ingredients in and eat it whatever the flavour because... cake! She turned it into some weird bake-off thing because she apparently owned baking. FFS, Tina.

One of my SILs owned weddings. Yes. She owned weddings specifically between 1999 and 2002. Anyone who had the audacity to attempt their own wedding during these years was a 'thunder stealing bitch'.

DH and I decided, fairly last minute, to get married just 5 weeks before SIL's wedding and we fucking owned weddings that day, it was spectacular. SIL, however, isn't smiling on a single one of our wedding photos. Infact on some she is positively scowling.

My SIL owns ‘being an older mother’. It’s seriously funny. She was 39 when she had her child.

I have seen her hold court with strangers at parties about how hard it is because she was THIRTY NINE. Even when people say, oh yes I know, I was 41. Yes but it was different for her you see because xyz.

Bless her.

I own procrastination. I know all you procrastinating fuckers waste your lives on the internet, too. But I really own it.

I suspect I have a time- share in procrastination though, pax.

At least once a week I google 'How to stop procrastinating'. My procrastination involves research.

I have also started a franchise in procrasta-eating. Put on 2 stone in the past year that way, thank you.

What, procrasta-eating? You can't just invent new forms of procrastination without running them past me first.

At least once a week I google 'How to stop procrastinating'. My procrastination involves research.

I thought that was just me.

I've got a book called How to Stop Procrastinating but I haven't got round to reading it.

A male Janet is a Manet, I believe.

Wait, what? You booked your last minute wedding for a month before your fiancés sister/your brother’s already booked big day?

Blimey. That’s erm, ballsy.

No no...procrasta-eating (TM)

It's mine I tell you!

Astrid i also buy books like that! Including a book called something along the lines of 'do just one thing'.

But I have so many things to not do!

Someone like this made me so mad I actually signed up to a marathon in revenge. Then realised what I had done. I actually did it though!!

Poor Janet.

But look, Janet is drinking tea!

But Janet, tea is OP's thing. God.

How could you, Janet? Tea does not belong to you - bitch.

Ana I wanted to get married because I wanted my GM at the wedding, and we knew she didn't have long. And that day was the only one they had left at the venue we wanted.

I had a friend who 'owned' Southwold, apparently it was 'her place'.

Despite the fact that people live there (including my family) and other people go there (including me). But, no ignore all that. It's HER PLACE!

Ah that puts a different slant on it.

Those who think they own procrastination should view this TED Talk. Not right now, obviously, but, you know, sometime.

Not according to my SIL.

She also owned the shade 'champagne' for wedding dresses. I mistakenly thought my dress was ivory but apparently it was actually 'champagne'. Which made me a bitch.