No Janet you can’t OWN running

[Janetsadick]

It’s not “your” hobby.

Nobody is stealing your thunder by taking up running.

If you faux roll your eyes and mention it again I’m going to throw a fucking stapler at your head

AIBU?

Can I be Janet of staying up too late and reading random stuff on the internet?

Well, tough, I am. So there.

I know a Janet that owns pain. If you are in pain she has it worse. Leg hanging off, nope you’re not in pain because she has a headache/backache and is in more pain than you. Even if have a condition diagnosed, it’s not real and you are making it up because she used to work (counter staff) in a chemist and knows everything about illness and disease.

I currently seem to be owning secondary insomnia and being unable to get back to sleep after being previously happily asleep.

My mother owns being able to diagnose alcoholism in anyone who has a second glass of wine.

She calls it alco-WHOLE-ism.

Can I enter my sister in the Janet-off?

She is a Janet in all senses, owns everything and is indeed called Janet. My personal favourite was when non-driving Janet gave handy driving tips to our father, who used to race cars in his long ago youth.

Bless all Janets.

By their fruits shall you know them.

And by fruits, I mean batshit crazy.

Yes, God bless the bat-janets.

@Janetsadick - you HAVE to play this tomorrow at work, you do.

I had a colleague who owned baking, it was so cringe when someone brought in some baked goods and she came over to taste their "effort".

I have a friend like that who owns all of cooking, not just baking. She especially owns all types of Asian cooking even though she is not Asian.

We had dinner cooked by a mutual friend who is actually Indian by heritage and she cooked us Indian food. Cookery Janet pronounced that our friend had done 'a really good job.'

But it was said in a slightly patronising manner that implied she thought it was just average, but good for someone who was an amateur at curries, unlike her.

I own being tired. I haven't slept in almost a year and have been up with baby for two and a half hours so far tonight. And every night this week. If any of you claim to be tired I will treat you to an extensive rundown of exactly how many times I have fed baby, rocked baby, laid down in bed for 20 seconds before baby cries again, and patted baby in the cot over the last 345 days. I am so fucking tired compared to you lot.

Yours sincerely,

Janet.

I also own:
Eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon in the kitchen.
Crying.

Janet is a twat.

Quilliam you are Bridget Jones and I claim my £5.

A parent in my daughters class owns headlice. Her 3 kids have had headlice over the past few months and she knows all the right treatments and combs and stuff No other child is allowed headlice because they then definitely gave it to her kids, which means she had to start treating it all over again.

She is welcome to headlice, frankly.

@Quilliam I'm afraid my SiL has Janet ed being tired . No one is as tired as she is.

She has also Janet ed 'undefineable health issues' and 'medical diagnosis'. She automatically knows what's wrong with everyone, except herself. She has no medical training and a very shaky grasp of biology .

She however is apparently a medical mystery. (GP suggested she try an actually balanced diet instead of crazy ones from weird internet sites and maybe some light exercise would help some of her minor health niggles. He was however wrong as she had Janet ed diagnosis so he had no idea what he was doing)

She will henceforth be known as Janet. It actually suits her....

I thought I told you all I owned eating and breathing. WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! Gaaaaah

gingergenius my mum also owns everything I express an interest in. I think it comes from a good place and is sort of sweet. But also intensely irritating. It's worst if it's an object or activity that she previously had/owned but long since stopped owning lost interest in. Weird...

Cant my mother used to own horse riding. I rode for years and she never once- not ONCE- came to see me compete. Nor has she ever been on a horse other than a seaside donkey. That did not, however, stop her from speaking with tremendous authority about riding, three-day eventing and going completely fucking mental at me once for saddlesoaping my saddle the correct way (I'm still not sure what her issue was).

You are more generous than me- I never thought it was sort of sweet!!!!

My janet owns the "babyname" . Having the audacity to be 7 months pregnant i am thinking of baby names.

I like the babyname she owns. She has always loved it. Since forever. She has always always said if had a girl it would be "thebabyname". She even asked her SIL not to use "thebabyname" but as luck would have it SIL had a boy.

Do i think in any way i might not like "the babyname" ...

I enquired as to whether a baby girl was imminent for her, and she responded "oh no i wont be having a baby for years. I am far too young. I would wanted to be older, like you, before i had a baby".

Well Janet got a headtilt that day.

Schaden thank you for your kind gift , fortunately as I OWN all facial hair I have more than enough . I will cunningly re-fashion your contribution into a merkin as age hasn't been kind to my once luxuriant forest , what hasn't gone straight and brittle, has scootled round to the back to keep my poo portal warm , although why on earth it needs it when cushioned between ample squidgy buttocks , God alone knows ?

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My link has nothing to do with Merkins or poo portals

Take up fell running

Ask her every Monday how her little jogs have been

I knew a Janet who's name was very very close to Janet who owned being the office bitch- in a 'I'm your best friend, tell me all' way. Then would use it against you- because she was also the manager. She'd see on your sick note that you had depression/ cancer/ lost a child- bring you in for a meeting about your time off relating to it, (back to work interview) come across all caring then slag you off behind your back. I heard her doing it. 'Depression, huh, she wouldn't know the meaning of it. Buzzword to take time off to do Christmas shopping ' never mind that she'd lost both her parents two weeks before in a horrific accident eh Janet 🙄

Grace is your Janet the woman who posted here a few months ago upset that someone in the same town had used the totally original name that she ‘made up’?

What's a man-Janet name?

I know someone who Janeted the boss. HIS boss, he owned her. She didn't acknowledge the fact though. If you had a meeting with the boss without him knowing, he was most put out. He wasn't the secretary, PA or second in command. Just another random working for the same boss.

Oh god - I've got a Janet in my office that 'owns' Christmas.

No one loves it as much as her, apparently.