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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish the boob police would just fuck off!

67 replies

KatnissMellark · 05/12/2017 12:23

Breastfeeding my nine month old. Originally had a number of issues (latch problems and allergies) but these are sorted now and it's easy and convenient despite having had to give up a couple of foods. Just in the last few days have had the following comments:

'Why don't you wean him for Xmas, no need to be a martyr, then you can eat what you want'- err no, it would be a total faff to get him accepting formula for a matter of months then wean to an alternative milk after a year, then try to introduce cow's milk if he can tolerate it.

'Breastfeeding past 6 months is just for the mother'- oh really? Why don't you tell him that?!

'What really annoys me is women who don't try to breastfeed, it's just lazy'- you are an arse! Just because we both breastfeed does not mean I'm in your little formula hating gang, nobber.

Why can't people just mind their own business!!?

OP posts:
hereitis · 05/12/2017 12:25

IGnore ignore.
Out of interest, what food can’t you eat? I ate anything I wanted when bf.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 05/12/2017 12:26

Milk and eggs. Little one is allergic- he poops blood when I have them! But otherwise I think you can eat anything, just slightly unlucky here.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/12/2017 12:35

Just say “ it suits us both thanks “ no explanation needed.

Who are these people?

PenelopePimpleBottom · 05/12/2017 12:37

"Fuck off nosey" is the only appropriate response here.

lilydaisyrose · 05/12/2017 12:37

I understand OP. I'm feeding my 11m old and am mighty fed up of the "when are you going to stop/wean" or "is she still waking overnight then?" comments. I don't complain about it or talk about it except to my DH so I don't understand why it's all anyone wants to talk to me about!

kaytee87 · 05/12/2017 12:37

God what is wrong with people. I'd just start avoiding them.
A friend of mine screwed up her face in disgust when I said I wanted to bf. I don't see very much of her now.

BackBoiler · 05/12/2017 12:39

Well if you cannot have milk whilst breastfeeding how will DS be able to have formula??

I FF but the best advice from me is IGNORE because someone has always got something to poke their nose in about. If you are getting on well with BF then its bloody brilliant and I don't understand how people can comment if im honest.

SavoyCabbage · 05/12/2017 12:39

Think of something that you think they should do differently to help them out as they are doing for you.

You should stop dying your hair so it’s easier to look after.

You should divorce Malcolm and marry Owen as he’s a good cook so you would cut down on your chores.

MaisyPops · 05/12/2017 12:41

'Thanks for your concern but I'm happy with our arrangement'

'Our feeding pattern works for us'

'I've already said this works for us'

'How I feed my baby is up to me'

'I didn't ask your opinion. Thank you'

'Do you mean to be so rude'

'I'm not discussing this any further'

'Fuck off will you'

randomsabreuse · 05/12/2017 12:45

My DD had the same allergies although we had formula top ups as well due to me struggling to make enough milk on the restricted diet plus we had other stuff going on that meant I would have needed to express to leave DD with grandparents and I couldn't get enough...

I only weaned when she lost interest at about 1 year so we stuck with formula until we got to the point where she could tolerate UHT milk.

Dairy and egg is doable but most things need to be prepped from scratch rather than buying in so guessing the cook is being lazy.

My only issue this year is keeping 2.5 year old from getting jealous if people are serving things with egg in!

Kaykee · 05/12/2017 12:45

Trick is to turn it off in your head. You are feeding your baby how you want, what works for you and by the sounds of it you’ve had a rough time so far and continuing to manage your baby’s allergy so why change what works for baby and you.

I’ve done both, I fed 2 babies myself (2&4) and bottle fed 2 (1&3) due to various issues and I just fed them they grew thrived and are now healthy happy children and that’s the main thing — well it’s supposed to be. Didn’t listen to anyone just got on with it, because I was secure in my method of feeding because that was best at the time
Wouldn’t change it. Enjoy feeding your baby sometimes miss the night feeds just them and I x

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 05/12/2017 12:46

Haha maisypops I like the last one best Grin

To be fair it doesn't upset me, it's just mildly irritating. I just don't get why people need to comment. Can't everyone just do what is best for them and mind their own???

OP posts:
Frederickvonhefferneffer · 05/12/2017 12:48

Just stare silently at the opinionated offender until they feel awkward and fuck off

Mugshotzforlunch · 05/12/2017 12:49

I couldn't have milk, eggs, broccoli or pork products. We had latch and allergy problems and i have pnd. Dd would only feed from left boob after 4 weeks that was after I had mastitis. I BF for 15 months until dd self weaned. She 2.5 now and ive still got milk on the right side.
I had people say those things to me all the time plus really sarcastic and patronising praise from my mother. Just ignore. You know what's best for you child.

IsaSchmisa · 05/12/2017 12:50

'Breastfeeding past 6 months is just for the mother'- oh really? Why don't you tell him that?!

'What really annoys me is women who don't try to breastfeed, it's just lazy'- you are an arse! Just because we both breastfeed does not mean I'm in your little formula hating gang, nobber.

Why can't people just mind their own business!!?

Because it's about women's bodies OP, which are up for public consumption. Especially if you dare to have children. If you wanted to be able to enjoy privacy and bodily autonomy without comment, you should've thought about that before being born female.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 05/12/2017 12:51

Just stare silently at the opinionated offender until they feel awkward and fuck off

Yup!!

randomsabreuse · 05/12/2017 12:51

It might be worth trying him with formula if you can get a prescription unless you can express easily because it's good to have a milk substitute for cooking/cereals and we mixed Neutrimigan and UHT milk to start introducing cow's milk.

No need to give up BF if it works - I assume you have found lots of the tasty dairy free options like most bourbons and high percentage dark chocolate. I found a real liking for Dark chocolate Almond milk ...

MonumentalAlabaster · 05/12/2017 12:51

In the 1990s I breastfed 3 babies for 9 months to a year and I was not subjected to such a barrage of comments. Do you think attitudes have changed about breastfeeding or do you think people just feel more entitled to state their opinions?

Mac12345 · 05/12/2017 12:57

My boy is 16 months, he's not showing any signs of stopping. I'm also dairy and soya free, but hey, they make an almond milk Bailey's now, and most dark chocolate is fine, so really there's not much to miss out on.

BF and FF.. either way you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Chaosofcalm · 05/12/2017 12:59

I think is a general judgement of parenting. Why does she not sleep through or qhybhace you sleep trained? No matter what you do as a parent you are judged.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 05/12/2017 13:00

randoms we use oat milk in cooking and will use that at nursery prior to trying him on cow's milk. Paed and dietician both very happy with that.

monumental I honestly have no idea of/why things are different. We do live in an area where bf rates are VERY low so it is not the 'norm' to be feeding at this age so could be that...I also think the pressure from some health pros to bf pisses a lot of women off and they feel the need to justify/attack if they can't/don't etc? I think maybe we are just out and about more nowadays too- we have more disposable income therefore go to more groups, out for coffee etc so just more chance of silly comments. All just theories really. There have always been dickheads, I'm sure Grin

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 05/12/2017 13:00

Jeez people are so rude. I can't believe they'd actually say stuff like that to your face

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 05/12/2017 13:01

I know trinity the one that pissed me off the most was the not trying to breastfeed=lazy comment as it was based on the assumption that I'd agree with the judgemental cow.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 05/12/2017 13:05

I'm breastfeeding an allergy baby and I totally feel your pain. I always get 'why don't you just give baby a bottle' and I normally just reply 'because baby is breastfed' while giving my evil death stare.

Fairyflaps · 05/12/2017 13:08

My mother breastfed 2 children whilst excluding dairy from her diet, due to their allergies (their symptoms sound similar to your DS). Now in her 60s, she has quite bad osteoporosis. It may not be directly related, but it might be worth having a chat to your doctor about bone health and if there are any supplements you should be taking.

When my siblings were weaned they went on to nutramigen, vile smelly stuff.