to tell you that you ruined the carol service

[Starrystar]

Took my Rainbow to a girlguiding carol service tonight, put on for the local community. The Rainbows, Brownies and Guides did really well - sang beautifully and delivered some lovely readings and prayers, but the service was marred, and the girls distracted by approx half a dozen young kids shouting, screaming and complaining. And aside from a bit of half hearted sshhh-ing from parents rolling their eyes in a "oh bless them" sort of way, they were allowed to run amok.

I'm so annoyed - if you cant control your fucking children, take them home.

And breathe.

Wee story I'll share .....

Mum and her 3 year son were at their place of worship. The boy was fidgetting throughout and jumping over the seat every few minutes. The boy was quite loud at times and some of the older people began to tut. The mum picked up on this and felt uncomfortable. She tried to settle the child who was now standing on his seat and asking loud questions about the sermon.
Grabbing him down she said "Thats enough now Jesus, you need to be quiet in the synagogue".

^Right, thats it. That's officially the most bizzare threat ive ever heared (read).
I can just imagine Moira from the church hall social club hissing it through gritted teeth because the vicar liked Maureen's scones better^

ToastyFingers 😂

And this is why we don’t go to church. Which is a bit crap, because I like church. But I remember all the shit my mother put up with because we were lively/naughty and my kids are basically impossible to keep quiet. So no church for me or them. Sorry god.

teddy
Please consider finding a new church.
As with any organisation made up of humans, some are great and others are miserable swines.

There are churches who are very open and family friendly.

I agree with what maisy just said. Lots of CofE churches have family services for families with children. The ones I’ve bern to are lovely and, (as I said up thread), there are some single people and couples who come along without dc, just because they like it better.

I also know a couple of interdenominational churches where they have a separate room for parents and young children and they show the service on a tv! I think that sounds quite cool. You’d still get to meet people and join in with prayer and worship without being on tenterhooks all the time, worried about if and when you might have to flee with dcs!

Yes, do try and find another church. They aren’t all silent solemn affairs.

Look for ones with a family service/children’s liturgy.

even if something isn't particularly thrilling, they still have to sit quietly and not ruin things for other people, that's life. And if they can't, they get taken out / go home.

See, for my hellbeast that would be a reward for the bad behaviour - when bored, play up, get removed. It's only a "punishment" to be removed if you wanted to be there, surely! Only works as negative consequence if the place you remove them to is more boring for them.

As it is, we go, but sit at the back or even outside the doors. If he's "running amok" silently and out of sight then it disturbs nobody. It's his church; we go often; he's well known to the vicar and the family worker etc.

It is not much fun for the child whose lines/song is inaudible through toddler screaming

This is the point, surely? It's a service put on by the children. They work hard to learn their lines and it's a big deal for many of them to stand up and "perform" in public. It's therefore shockingly inconsiderate to allow your child to spoil the effort and the "moment" of another child.

I used to be shocked that some schools said "no younger siblings" at these things; felt it wasn't in the spirit of Christmas and all that. Having seen some of the bad behaviour that goes on, I can now well understand why. If your children can't sit reasonably quietly and still (and I mean reasonably - I don't think anyone is expecting the standards of the Royal Opera House, just no running around or shouting) then you don't bring them or you take them outside. Basic consideration for others.

I agree with some of the posters here who have noted that some parents do seem to ignore unacceptable behaviour by their own children. Quietly removing them to be outside may be the best thing to do.

NataliaOsipova
As ever (and it is the same on the dress code in church thread) rules and guidelines need drawing up because clearly there are some idiots who have made it to adulthood without being able to grasp sensible things like 'don't let your child run riot everywhere' / 'dress your child sensibly for church'

I removed DD2 from her own Christening as she was screaming blue murder. I agree with the PPs who have said that little children can really spoil it for slightly older ones if they scream and shout through their carefully prepared lines.

The answer is to take a badly behaved child out but to make sure that being taken out is at least an equally unpleasant experience. Eg sit quietly inside and colour/cuddle teddy or sit outside with no such stimulation. (When I was a child if you were taken out you could expect corporal punishment which is no doubt the unsatisfactory answer to the PP who asked why it was that children in the 70s were able to sit quietly.)