to tell you that you ruined the carol service

[Starrystar]

Took my Rainbow to a girlguiding carol service tonight, put on for the local community. The Rainbows, Brownies and Guides did really well - sang beautifully and delivered some lovely readings and prayers, but the service was marred, and the girls distracted by approx half a dozen young kids shouting, screaming and complaining. And aside from a bit of half hearted sshhh-ing from parents rolling their eyes in a "oh bless them" sort of way, they were allowed to run amok.

I'm so annoyed - if you cant control your fucking children, take them home.

And breathe.

Don't you remember that phase - about 2 or 3yrs old when many kids/toddlers just don't get about being quiet? And if you shush them to try to stop running about they're just more disruptive?

Every parent remembers that phase.

Taking them outside is the right thing to do but many parents for whatever reason, just don't seem to do it as much nowadays.

I don't know why things have changed over the years but they definitely have.

And people are genuinely surprised when people have a child free wedding. This is why.

YANBU. It’s self-centred and lazy parenting.

I have lovely memories of solemn candlit Christmas services when I was a child: the lovely music, the singing, the chapel all decorated, that tingly excited pre Christmas feeling.

I have absolutely no recollection of anyone being anything other than impeccably behaved (this would be the 70s). Did toddlers not go to these events in the past? I can't remember any.

Parental blindness comes in many forms.

This is one form ....... "aww isn't little Jonny cute/funny/entertaining" , when actually little Jonny is a fucking pain in the arse!!

The parental blindness means the parents think on lookers are looking at little Jonny in awe of his cuteness and entertainment talents when in fact they are staring with gritted teeth thinking "Shut the fucking little shit up" or "wtf is wrong with that noisy brats parents? Why the fuck are they letting him be such a fucking huge pain in the arse"!!

What would Jesus do? Stop being a hypocrite OP
You are mp Christian!

justinelibertine You're nothing like the OP's situation.
For a genuine rrason your child struggles and you are doing you best to support your child whilst being aware of others.

At one of my old churches we had a little lad with ASD and nobody batted an eyelid at his parents doing what thry needed to do to help him.

It's why I get annoyed when people turn up on 'parents allow child to be badly behaved and go awww' threads saying "but what about SEN?' In my experience mosf parents of children with extra needs are so far away from the 'awww ain't DC cute for running trashing thr place' as possible. They tend to be using all the strategies they have fo try and settle their child and at times feel quite self conscious (it's why i try to give them a smile or something to say not to worry)

Totally different to people cooing and laughing at their badly behaved children

What is this with the Sen issues? Mine have Sen issues. We either don’t go somewhere because I know they won’t cope. Or at the theatre we get a private box. Or they will bloody well will sit down and behave.

Do people really look at obviously badly parented children and assume they must have Sen? That does no one any favours.

A carol service on the 3rd of December?

Way too early.

I’m puzzled about the idea that Christians are not judgemental.
I’ve met a few who weren’t, but the majority are very judgey, critical and free with their opinions on how others should live their lives. Always thought that was the point...select, elect, chosen, favoured. I enjoy watching the power of the various factions and cults being eroded in law and society.
But yes, some parents allow their children to freely express themselves and are a pita. YANBU.

My DCs primary school had a fabulous carol concert evening every year in the local church (not a church school). All the children involved and singing.

A friend with kids still at the school mentioned recently that this year the head has sent an email asking that parents don't bring food with them as the priest complained last year at the amount of empty McDonald's and KFC wrappers left in pews. who does that!!

Who in their right mind would think it's acceptable to quaff a Big Mac in church

I thought the whole point of christianity was about judgement.

Judged at the pearly gates, judged on sexuality, homosexuality, morals, sex outside marriage, babies born outside wedlock.

It's only reasonable to expect younger siblings to be quiet. And for parents to parent them if they aren't.

Do people really look at obviously badly parented children and assume they must have Sen?

No. I assume nothing about the child. Just that the parent is a twat.

Do people really look at obviously badly parented children and assume they must have Sen? That does no one any favours.
No.
But on some threads on here it's the new (and I hate this phrase) 'virtue signalling'.
Aka
OP- This parent has let their child do X and it's really disruptive
Most people - Yeh that is annoyinh. You'd think they'd actually parent
Random poster - so you haven't considered that child might have SEN. Great. That's exactly why I feel terrified to go out with my kids in case someone like you is judging us
OP (and everyone else) - umm, but thr parent wasn't doing anything. Most parents do something if their child is avting like that
Random poster - you think it can be helped? Way to blame me for my child's need.

It annoys me and I'm not even a parent of a child with SEN.

To be fair, i thought that would have happened by page 4/5 of this thread and I've been wrong (thankfully). Seems the idiots have stayed away.

This is why so many schools ban younger children from events like this. It's very unfair on the children who are performing. It's just plain rude to allow your child to disrupt a performance.

Mine has severe sn. I would take him to a church carol service if he would get something out of it and would be likely to cope with it for most of the time. He would be still be noisy some of time ( unavoidable with his level of disability) but I would hope people that see that we are doing what we can and accept that. Obviously running around and eating smelly messy food isn't acceptable.

YANBU. What a shame for the kids that had put all that effort in.

I Left a carol service early as my kids were being a bit too noisy (nowhere as bad as you state Just wriggly and whispering )

I hear you ! Little fuckers

When I say little fuckers I am obviously referring to badly behaved kids in a group not a child with SN which is usuallly fairly visible (but I get what people mean )

Younger children are banned from our Carol services and any other school service.

It's bliss

YANBU OP. I'd have stuck my foot out and tripped the little monsters

"Carol services are supposed to be fun"

Why does fun have to mean rampaging around like a wild animal?

It is perfectly good fun to watch & enjoy a play & sing the songs - what's not to like?

This sort of behaviour used to drive me nuts when my DS was small - so many entitled parents of badly-behaved small children. Yes I know they're excited, but really!

What’s all this “YOU ruined the carol service”? Are you hoping the families will be on here so you can get in your little digs anonymously?

Y wouldn’t have BU, if you’d actually womaned up and spoke to them at the time. As it is, I think you’re BU and a bit snively, bitchy and cowardly.

YANBU.

One of mine has SN. The other is NT but was, erm, spirited —a little git— as a small child.

Many’s the time we had to whisk them out of cinemas/cafes etc to avoid annoying other people. It’s just what you do isn’t it?