Meghan and Harry don't look right together

[bungle99]

I was in small shop earlier with only 4 of us in their. I am a regular customer.
I heard a member of staff who was serving another customer talking about Meghan and Harry and staff member said they don't really look right together and that she's not an English Rose like Kate Middleton. I was really shocked by this because 1) that people of my generation actually think like this (middle age) 2) that she admitted this view out loud knowing i could actually hear it (i'm not white). I was only 3 feet away.

AIBU to think that this was a racist comment and that most white people do not think like this ? Please restore my faith Mumsnet.

Cross post bungle

Yes, I occasionally forget how racist people can be but MN reminds me. However, a lot of MNers seem to occupy a different planet to mine so I'll just try to stay cheerful I guess.

Sorry this thread turned out so shite

Yeah, that person was a twat. People who have to make derogatory comments about others are twats.
On another note, I also hate the ginger insults that people seem to think it's funny and 'banter' to comment on in a derogatory way, becuae they can be disgustingly insulting and rude but it's ok because it's just a joke. Eg 'nobody will make him look good, 'he's ginger' and 'nobody wants to touch a ginger' it's not funny, it's just as nasty.

dangermouse7 i personally don't find it insulting when people have said mixed race kids are good looking. However, if you are Poc who has been subjected to alot of racist comments e.g. being told that your race is funny looking or that men wouldn't have looked even once at you in a group of white women (yes i have heard this and many other insulting comments), then you can see why comments about mixed raced kids may be taken badly.

Amanduh i quite agree. People should not make comments about being ginger. Or the poor lady in an earlier post who was teased about being too pale and needing a tan. Not on!

Nyx1 - thank you. There were quite a few posters who agreed that it was out of order, which was good to hear. Makes me feel better to know that most people think it is out of order.

That is not what the argument was about though @bungle. Several people were saying even COMPLIMENTING people who are mixed race is insulting.

Of course it's rude to say nasty and negative things about non-white people/mixed race people. It is equally as rude to say nasty and negative things about white people/pale skinned people/ginger people etc...

Justhere and anyone else...genuine question, but is the term 'half cast' a derogatory term?
I'm confused my English teacher at school was mixed race and used the term so I always thought it was fine to use

I don't actually use the term myself, but I've head it on occasion and not thought about out

@dangermouse7 - my view is that complimenting people who are mixed race is not insulting as long as it is actually a compliment, and not implying that they are better off as they have a bit of white in them to dilute the colour part.

Of course it's rude to say nasty and negative things about non-white people/mixed race people. It is equally as rude to say nasty and negative things about white people/pale skinned people/ginger people etc... - agree.

DH is white and I am mixed race. When we’d just started going out, one of his DBs female friends told my now DH that she didn’t think race mixing was right. He almost spat his drink out laughing in her face and basically told her that she literally had zero say in who he was going out with. It was clear she fancied him anyway and was just jealous but I don’t understand how she couldn’t see how saying stuff like that to a man who clearly isn’t a bigoted simpleton like her would make her attractive to him? Weird.

Do people who have issues with interracial dating or homosexuality not see how they come across to people and would they have a problem if someone commented on who they themselves choose to date? Why would anybody care who anybody else was with?

I know a woman who’s dad is a BNP type. He used to encourage her and her brothers to shout abuse at the foreign (Italian) family on their street. There was no way his little princess was going to be with any man who who wasn’t English. She was even worried dating an Irish guy! She’s now with an emotionally abusive guy which her DF knows about (he used to hit her Mum so he’s clearly not bothered) but he welcomes him becomes he’s English. That’s all that matters, not his treatment of his daughter, he’s not foreign that’s it, that’s all that matters. Extremely weird bordering on primitive tribalism.

Can’t see that Meghan and Harry would lose a wink of sleep over some nomarks comments in a shop or internet though.

CrossFreelancer - I beleive 'half cast' a now a derogatory term. I think 'mixed race' is more socially acceptable these days. But as someone said up thread, we are all mixed race really.

Loathe to engage, tbh, but if you seriously can't see that complimenting people who are mixed race by using an 'all mixed race people' stereotype is tiresome and racist then you need to get out more. Would you tell all Native Americans that they are brave and noble warriors or all Italians that they're excitable and passionate?

On and on it will go for years. ...

bananasaregood
FlowerPot is a notorious alt.right troll, ignore him.

Alt right troll?! Him?! OMG, what is wrong with you?

SilentlyScreamingAgain
some people are just wilfully ignorant.

Which simply means some people who have opinions which are not yours, stand by their beliefs in almost as stubborn way as as you hold yours.

Wilfully ignorant always means "I believe my views are the one and only truth, anyone who disagrees cannot possibly be intelligent and informed but must be ignorant of the power of my great truth, and anyone who refuses to cowtow to my authority and my truth is doing so out of some deliberate act of wilful disobedience which I cannot handle, let alone debate rationally against."

There’s only one race. We are all various shades and tones of brown. All equal in beauty and dignity and worth. No one is literally black and no one is literally white. They’d be dead if so. I knew this instinctively since I was little. Don’t understand the racist mindset. Nutcases.

I think if he were a regular Joe they would look wrong together cos he's Prince Harry but he's quite ordinary looking really. Attractive but if they look wrong together it's cos she's so attractive.

I think it's an evolutionary thing to find mixed race babies so appealing. They are less likely to have ailments or syndromes resulting from carrying two copies of a dodgy gene.

Half cast has been seen as an offensive term for a long time - I haven't even barely heard it used. I think MM refers to herself as biracial www.elleuk.com/life-and-culture/news/a26855/more-than-an-other/

I'm late middle aged, middle class and move in similar circles and haven't heard a single derogatory comment only how well she carried off the engagement interview and how beautiful and poised she is, as well as that they look happy.

I’m almost intrigued what people thing racism actually is?

Because a lot of the examples especially if meant as a compliment are more about being unaware of cultural sensitivities or maybe stereotyping, but it’s not exactly racism, people generalising about the Scottish being tight is a stereotype but it’s not racist it’s just stupid out dated thinking

Isn’t racism more about thinking you are better than someone based on race or discriminating against because of their race?

I have a number of friends in mixed race relationships with kids etc and they always had a fun conversation to discuss what features they’d get from each side like red hair and freckles or dark hair and darker skin. Is it not about celebrating our differences and what makes are all individual?

I quite like our Meg... She's cooler than Kate.

Couldn't give a shit what colour she is.

They look great together....but I know many people aren't keen on the union because of her race.

I like the way Harry doesn't give two hoots what they all think.

He's got a beautiful kind hearted woman. He knows a keeper.

Yes, bordering I'm racist - the ignorant, stupid 'I didn't mean anything' kind.

Unfortunately this exists through any age, class etc.

To be honest I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about them but then I live in London and most people don’t care about that type of thing here. I’ve only heard positivity or indifference. Most people were ‘meh’ about it really.

No, most white people don't think like that.

TBH, I called it years ago that Harry would marry a mixed race woman. I also think one of Harry or William's offspring will be gay (very openly).

The Royal Family have to very carefully craft and maintain a public image, particularly after Diana's death when their popularity went down massively. I think having someone from an ethnic minority and having someone openly gay is part of that.

Ironic. Many posters seem to think it's fine because Meghan is beautiful. Can't help feeling there'd be more of a racist backlash if she had more typical black features such as wide nose and lips, afro hair etc.

Meghan looks like a tanned version of the Middleton sisters - not really that exotic or different. Thought the same about Barack Obama - dark skin but didn't really look like a typical black person.

If you think it's alright to comment on the way someone looks, why is it OK to comment on some aspects but not others? It's nice that Meghan is beautiful but that doesn't mean it's necessarily a good match. In fact if he was marrying someone more ordinary looking I'd be more convinced that it was their personality he was interested in.