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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Meghan and Harry don't look right together

367 replies

bungle99 · 04/12/2017 18:32

I was in small shop earlier with only 4 of us in their. I am a regular customer.
I heard a member of staff who was serving another customer talking about Meghan and Harry and staff member said they don't really look right together and that she's not an English Rose like Kate Middleton. I was really shocked by this because 1) that people of my generation actually think like this (middle age) 2) that she admitted this view out loud knowing i could actually hear it (i'm not white). I was only 3 feet away.

AIBU to think that this was a racist comment and that most white people do not think like this ? Please restore my faith Mumsnet.

OP posts:

Rebeccaslicker · 05/12/2017 08:56

I just can't believe that anyone cares that much! Let them get on with it.

Rebeccaslicker · 05/12/2017 08:56

(Harry and Meghan I mean, not the people slating them!)

Auburn2001 · 05/12/2017 09:01

I would also have interpreted the comment as being about Harry and Meghan not looking right together because Meghan is not an English Rose. That is racist.

Why bring the English Rose reference into the conversation at all otherwise. It's not as if they were only discussing KM's new frock or hair colour IMO

I have absolutely no time for anyone who views skin or hair colour as a way of deciding whether or not that person is acceptable to them, Pale skin, olive skin, ginger hair, anything. It is ignorant and divisive especially in this day and age.

Thetreesareallgone · 05/12/2017 09:03

When I saw the interview, I thought they didn't go together for a different reason- he's massively punching above his weight! Megan, as you can see from her childhood and class photos, was always photogenic and the best looking person in the photo- and she capitalized on that by succeeding in a hugely competitive industry working as an actress.

He is not, IMO, handsome, he's perfectly nice looking, but just isn't a looker in the same sense that she is. He's been lucky enough to get to know her by virtue of his status, and then I'm sure his personality did the rest.

I don't think they will necessarily have nice looking babies- you would have thought Diana would have significantly upped the looks of the next generation, but even she couldn't overcome Charles's heritage.

It's not all about looks anyway, they seem like nice people and both have a job performing for the public, which they will continue to do. But if it is all about how they 'match' then he has done quite well, tbh.

BishopBrennansArse · 05/12/2017 09:04

@bananasaregood you noticed too?

spiritofadventure · 05/12/2017 09:20

I'm mixed race and have heard many a racist remark in my time, but would not have taken that comment as racist at all.

Why is it racist to say Meghan isn't an 'English rose'? She isn't and it's not offensive to say so.

As for the not looking right together, I don't think they look right together either - but it has nothing to do with race...just that Meghan is waaaay more attractive then Harry.

People are so quick to say something is racist these days!

Auburn2001 · 05/12/2017 09:30

But they didn't say what you have just said spiritofadventure.

The clear implication was that Meghan didn't look right for Harry because he should only be with someone who looks like an English Rose.

Gromance02 · 05/12/2017 09:34

Looks-wise, she is massively out of his league. He is about a 3. She is a 10. Money-wise, he has access to billions of pounds worth of properties, a fabulous lifestyle etc. Doesn't take a genius to work out what's going on there!

TheFaerieQueene · 05/12/2017 09:34

I don’t know anything about Meghan but I think she is stunning and if they are happy then fab.

What pisses me off is this English Rose crap. It suggests women are fragile and a decoration. Can you imagine a man being called an English Rose ? No. I would give anyone a piece of my mind if they said that to me. My colouring is thanks to my Scandinavian heritage thank you.

badabing36 · 05/12/2017 10:02

So many people on this thread playing the white victim 'looking to be offended' when people call out their subtley worded racism for what it is.

BTW I am a mousey 'English rose' type.

OldEnglishSheepDog · 05/12/2017 10:15

No-one thinks they themselves are racist. Not even my MIL who still uses the W word to describe black people. But all of us are to some extent: not consciously, maliciously or deliberately necessarily but we all notice and, to some degree act on, differences. What's important is that we try our best to recognise it and amend our behaviour and ideas accordingly. I'd hate to be called racist but I know that I sometimes, unthinkingly, make assumptions or comments that are based on a way of thinking which can't really be described as anything else. Not being racist requires conscious effort for most of us.

Beansonapost · 05/12/2017 10:28

Well nothing she can do about it! Is there 🤷‍♀️

She should go sit in a corner and sulk!

Racist cow!

People like them remind me of my in-laws.

DopeyDazy · 05/12/2017 10:41

she is stunning and if he hadn't been born royal he'd never have got close to her

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/12/2017 10:52

Reading this thread has reminded me of Doc Brown sketch

GingerbreadMa · 05/12/2017 10:59

Listen. Nobody discussed the fact that kate isnt English Rose looking when she got engaged (eveb though the consensus on this thread is that shes not english rose looking either.
Why is that do you think?
@ all the "but its just a statement of fact, its okay cause its true" people.

DeloresvanTrop · 05/12/2017 11:10

Doc Brown audience is all white. Speaks volumes, doesn't it?

Rebeccaslicker · 05/12/2017 11:40

Dopey - yep - and if she weren't stunning, she'd never have gotten near him.

Bit depressing when you look at the love story that way, innit!

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/12/2017 11:55

Doc Brown audience is all white. Speaks volumes, doesn't it?
What are you implying? That he's racist, therfore other people of his race don't like him?

RoseWhiteTips · 05/12/2017 12:07

oldlaundbooth

I quite like our Meg... She's cooler than Kate.

Couldn't give a shit what colour she is.

Riiight. So it is acceptable to be horrid about Kate who is beautiful, intelligent, poised and the mother of a future king...

Meghan M has a lot of work to do in order to come anywhere near Kate. Still, she doesn’t have that status anyway given Harry’s position in the line.

Humpsfor20yards · 05/12/2017 12:12

Riiight. So it is acceptable to be horrid about Kate who is beautiful, intelligent, poised and the mother of a future king... Meghan M has a lot of work to do in order to come anywhere near Kate. Still, she doesn’t have that status anyway given Harry’s position in the line.

You don't think that's a slight over-reaction to: I quite like our Meg... She's cooler than Kate. ??!!

Annorlunda5 · 05/12/2017 12:25

It's perfectly acceptable to be horrid about any member of royalty, they aren't exempt.

Saying that Harry and Megan don't look right together because 'she's not an English Rose like Kate' is definitely racist.

StickThatInYourPipe · 05/12/2017 12:36

The only reason I am a little sad about this union is that she has had to give up her acting career, she really is quite talented and I enjoyed her in suits.

The colour of her skin means absolutely nothing too me tbh, YANBU OP

Elzee · 05/12/2017 13:12

I like her and I think they look nice together.

Elzee · 05/12/2017 13:13

I quite like her and I think they look nice together.

Original poster

bungle99 · 05/12/2017 13:15

The clear implication was that Meghan didn't look right for Harry because he should only be with someone who looks like an English Rose.

yes exactly. "Meghan and Harry don't look right together" - not as bad as there could be a number of reasons why. However,
"Meghan and Harry don't look right together. She's not an English Rose like Kate Middleton" really sounds bad.

Anyway, am pleased to find that many people on this thread do not actually think like this.

OP posts:

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