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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meghan and Harry don't look right together

367 replies

bungle99 · 04/12/2017 18:32

I was in small shop earlier with only 4 of us in their. I am a regular customer.
I heard a member of staff who was serving another customer talking about Meghan and Harry and staff member said they don't really look right together and that she's not an English Rose like Kate Middleton. I was really shocked by this because 1) that people of my generation actually think like this (middle age) 2) that she admitted this view out loud knowing i could actually hear it (i'm not white). I was only 3 feet away.

AIBU to think that this was a racist comment and that most white people do not think like this ? Please restore my faith Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Corcory · 04/12/2017 21:05

But Calfouist the round breast comment is sexist and demeaning especially in the context you set.
The person who comments that your children are 'cute' are unlikely to be trying to undermine them or other them. They are probably trying to think of something to say that indicates that they like to see all ethnicities of children and have no objection to them thus in their cack handed way trying to prove they are not racist.
I know I may well have fallen foul of this in the past as I have always wanted to go out of my way to make sure any person of another culture or ethnicity feels included and liked.
Silly me!!

You've put me right I won't bother conversing again in case I offend.

FreshHorizons · 04/12/2017 21:05

I think they look really well suited and obviously very happy.

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 21:06

Nell "Firstly because it randomly exoticises and devalues the children themselves; secondly because it's the other side of a coin which reviles blackness and approves of how our children have the 'best of both worlds', just the right amount of curl to their hair, just the right medium shade of brown, nothing too black or too afro etc about them. Yuck."

This.

isadoradancing123 · 04/12/2017 21:07

Don't be ridiculous how can it be racist to suggest she isn't an english rrose, , she isn't, she is dark haired and olive skinned, English rose is more the Cressida Bonas type,

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 21:14

Corcory, why not just talk them as you'd talk to anyone else? Also I'm curious how you decide that someone comes from another culture?

NotWeavingButDarning · 04/12/2017 21:20

Well, if nothing else, this illuminating thread has certainly shown that racism and whitesplaining are very much alive and well on MN.

How grim.

FlowerPot1234 · 04/12/2017 21:24

NotWeavingButDarning
Well, if nothing else, this illuminating thread has certainly shown that racism and whitesplaining are very much alive and well on MN.

Lots else actually. I don't think I have ever read such irrational, paranoid, twisted, poorly-argued nonsense on the topic of racism in my life.

HHTigerLilly · 04/12/2017 21:26

For goodness sake! Behave people. Stop with the racist classist shit and just BE KIND.
How hard is it? ConfusedHmm

HHTigerLilly · 04/12/2017 21:27

And whilst we're at it have some BiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/12/2017 21:36

What's with the patronising 'behave people'?

These threads are not KIND and not intended to be. What's the point of them? Endless nasty, personal and or cloaked/disingenuous comments about other people, how they look, hair colour, whatever else doesn't appeal to some random about their appearance. It's horrible.

Dragongirl10 · 04/12/2017 21:41

Its really no one elses business, if they are happy good for them.

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 21:43

Lying, again, either you've misunderstood the OP or she and I have misunderstood you.

It's completely understandable to want to post about this when its so upsetting - though the replies, sadly, underline just how much racism abounds on MN as well as in real life.

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 04/12/2017 21:45

What are you supposed to look like to look “right” together I wonder?? Meghan does look like a long lost Middleton (did pippa turn him down???). Good luck to them -but don’t think she’ll be as keen on being a member of the firm once she’s found out what it’s like.

bananasaregood · 04/12/2017 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chardonnaymoi · 04/12/2017 21:48

I just hope they don’t suck the life out of her. Kate doesn’t seem very happy these days.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 04/12/2017 21:50

Gingerbreadma, sometimes during discussions around homophobia I feel that I might have lost the ability to communicate clearly or I'm going mad, so I just wanted to say that you can and you're not, some people are just wilfully ignorant.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/12/2017 21:51

Ok Nyx1, I'll concede that the OP wasn't being goady or wanting to spread racist crap about. It hasn't stopped other people on the thread though and it was a vehicle for that.

I'm just sick of the celeb-attacking as if it's fair game on here and it's sensitised me. It's just so nauseating. But that's not what this was started as, I can see that now.

Sorry bungle99, my first post was unfair to you and my second one wasn't directed at you.

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 21:55

Lying "It hasn't stopped other people on the thread though and it was a vehicle for that."

Read the OP last line. She was hoping for reassurance, not the racist crap that's come out here.

dangermouse7 · 04/12/2017 21:55

I am always a little bit suspicious too when people say 'isn't this outrageous and awful what this person I know said?'

Sometimes I wonder if it's what THEY think, and they are disguising it by pretending it's someone else saying it.

A sort of 'asking for a friend' situation. Wink

scrabbler3 · 04/12/2017 22:02

He's handsome and she's pretty. Of course they "look" right together.

Whether they're actually suited is a different question and only friends who know them both quite well can comment on that. However, as far as appearances go, which was the point of the thread, they're lovely together.

dangermouse7 · 04/12/2017 22:14

Agree @scrabbler3

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/12/2017 22:18

Nyx1, I'm not going to agree with you there. Read dangermouse's post below yours for clarity.

This thread, like the others, has 'shit-storm-in-brewing' potential all over it. I apologised to bungle for suggesting that she was spreading racism. I'm just weary of 'wide eyed' goady OPs all over this board and fed up with celeb-attacking threads.

Original poster
bungle99 · 04/12/2017 22:20

Thank you lying. I appreciate that.

Read the OP last line. She was hoping for reassurance, not the racist crap that's come out here. Absolutely, thanks Nyx1 again.

dangermouse7 - "disguising it by pretending it's someone else saying it " - sorry, nothing that complicated. I heard it. It pissed me off. I needed to vent and know that not everyone thinks like that esp. as I am a PoC and have a white DH and mixed race kids. It was depressing to hear it said so freely, and reminded me (yet again) that these types of people will sometimes talk to me politely (because they have to), but think they are superior to me and would never consider being more than just an acquaintance because of the colour of my skin. I can't even tell who thinks like this - i just find out when things slip out. I actually forget that i'm 'different' until I hear things like this.

I'm not naive enough to think that nobody has these kids of racist opinions but i'd like to think that the majority don't think like this.

OP posts:
Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 22:22

Danger mouse "Sometimes I wonder if it's what THEY think, and they are disguising it by pretending it's someone else saying it"

So you think the not white (her words) OP really thinks herself that Harry and Meghan don't look right together because of race?

and you think her whole "I'm upset" post was a lie?

Original poster
bungle99 · 04/12/2017 22:22

sorry i mean "kinds of racist opinions"

OP posts:
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