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AIBU?

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Original poster

Meghan and Harry don't look right together

367 replies

bungle99 · 04/12/2017 18:32

I was in small shop earlier with only 4 of us in their. I am a regular customer.
I heard a member of staff who was serving another customer talking about Meghan and Harry and staff member said they don't really look right together and that she's not an English Rose like Kate Middleton. I was really shocked by this because 1) that people of my generation actually think like this (middle age) 2) that she admitted this view out loud knowing i could actually hear it (i'm not white). I was only 3 feet away.

AIBU to think that this was a racist comment and that most white people do not think like this ? Please restore my faith Mumsnet.

OP posts:
dangermouse7 · 04/12/2017 19:43

@GingerbreadMa

Its patronising to say " mixed race babies are so cute". It makes them sound like pets and it makes the person saying it sound like they think they are benevolent while at the same time being dehumanising

In YOUR opinion.

Dustbunny1900 · 04/12/2017 19:44

Trump is exactly the kind of pig who specifically goes after eastern euro women (goes down a bunny trail and off topic)

BossyBitch · 04/12/2017 19:44

its usually non white who see racism in anything that doesn't suit them

There's literally a name for this 'odd' phenomenon. We call this 'white privilege'.

BTW, I'm not only white but also MC, educated, healthy, hetero and a high earner, so I do happen know a thing or two about privilege.

Also: seriously?! Hmm

user1499419331 · 04/12/2017 19:45

Yes it's racist. I don't know if most white people feel this way. I'm as white as they come and this has annoyed me. Racist cow. And ignorant.

FlowerPot1234 · 04/12/2017 19:45

GingerbreadMa

Mixed race people are individual. Just as capable of variety as anyone else. With the same spectrum of attractiveness as everyone else.

Obviously. Nobody has said they are not.

Its patronising to say "mixed race babies are so cute".
Why is it patronising precisely? Why do you believe it's not a general, complimentary observational comment, similar to meeting two tall newlyweds and saying "your babies are going to be tall!".

It makes them sound like pets
So to your ears GingerbreadMa, saying two people will create lovely babies makes the two people sound like pets? Shock

and it makes the person sayinv it sound like they think they are benevolent while at the same time being dehumanising
So to your ears GingerbreadMa when person paying a lovely compliment you impose a thought process on them which is only made up in your mind (that they think they are benevolent) and then you go further and impose a horrible, nasty motivation on them too of dehumanising others.

My god GingerbreadMa, can you hear yourself?

user1499419331 · 04/12/2017 19:45

To be totally honest if I'd heard that I would have questioned her on it.

GingerbreadMa · 04/12/2017 19:46

I sort of don’t think they look right together as he is punching above his weight - she is stunning!

That what I mean about the bullshit: her claiming to not be at all impressed by his prince-ness...cos being american she didnt really know what that meant Hmm yeah right Ive been to america several times & their magazines and TV/news follow the royals with way more admiration and awe and ...well "shit giving" than your average brit who gives very limited shits about the royals.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/12/2017 19:46

A racist comment to start with you and you're not fooling anybody with "I heard somebody say...", OP. You're someone who likes to pass on racist crap. What does that say? Confused

I hate seeing all this Harry and Meghan shit. If people stopped passing it on or posting it here it would die.

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 19:47

user "To be totally honest if I'd heard that I would have questioned her on it."

some days, so would I.

but we hear so much of it, other days it's just a case of wanting to get away.

milliemolliemou · 04/12/2017 19:47

Er ... hasn't the press been full of the black heritage of the royal family via Queen Charlotte (as in George 3) who was descended via I think a Portuguese aristocratic family? Along with the fact they were mostly Hanoverian with a later admix of more German and Danish including the Danes who'd taken over the throne of Greece - though clearly all linked back to the English. So Meghan brings yet more northern European blood from her father's lot, clearly some English and some black. Who cares? And I agree that it's not the older generation who are necessarily concerned. None of my older friends have been any more than fascinated by a beautiful girl and a royal wedding (apart from the republicans). And I'm sure Debrett's is digging hard, as they did with Kate Middleton, to prove that she has a Duke or two in her ancestry.

GingerbreadMa · 04/12/2017 19:48

Yeah. At weddings of white people I often hear "aww their little white babies will be so beautiful, I love white babies theyre so cute"

Nyx1 · 04/12/2017 19:49

Lying "You're someone who likes to pass on racist crap"

wait, what? You're saying if a poster posts an upsetting racist remark, they are "passing on" racist crap? How about we're just sharing something that we found racist and upsetting?

have I misunderstood you?

GingerbreadMa · 04/12/2017 19:49

Or "I love your caucasian hair, its so europeaney"

foodiefil · 04/12/2017 19:49

Look at their faces and features, I see similarities! I think she is beautiful and it's very refreshing - he's followed his heart

yumyumpoppycat · 04/12/2017 19:51

It is racist. I think they are a handsome couple, in the main picture the press have been showing he genuinely looks loved up. I think she looks princessy with her long swishy hair like Kate, and he looks a bit henry viii esque.

elliephillips · 04/12/2017 19:52

"@GingerbreadMa

Its patronising to say " mixed race babies are so cute". It makes them sound like pets and it makes the person saying it sound like they think they are benevolent while at the same time being dehumanising"

I agree with this 100%. DH and I get it all the time about our DC. It gets tedious and uncomfortable but I know people don't realise how problematic it can be so I never pull them up on it. They are just clumsily trying to pay a 'compliment'. Confused

KennDodd · 04/12/2017 19:54

Aridane

I agree. Can't believe Harry could have bagged a women like MM if he wasn't a prince. This isn't to say she's just with him because of who he is but I bet him being a prince got him the first date. He said it himself, "I'm really going to have to up my game here". Doubt that's what the women in the op meant when she said they don't look right together though. Anyway, I'm very pleased for them, they look really happy together.

emma2468 · 04/12/2017 19:54

**Ropsleybunny

So long as they are happy, I don't give a fuck.**

This

GingerbreadMa · 04/12/2017 19:55

The people who dont see why its not a compliment wont read this, and instead keep asking "but why.." with no interest in hearing the answer..but I'll leave this here anyway
thetwochairs.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/exotic-is-not-a-compliment/

JassyRadlett · 04/12/2017 19:55

Why is it patronising precisely? Why do you believe it's not a general, complimentary observational comment, similar to meeting two tall newlyweds and saying "your babies are going to be tall!".

No, it isn’t. It’s similar to saying to two white newleyweds, ‘your kids will be gorgeous, white babies are so cute!’

Lanaorana2 · 04/12/2017 19:55

People do make white-specific remarks - happened to me several times. I've been told I have a 'fine bum for a white woman' by one of my friends quite a lot. Bring it on, I liked it.

RaininSummer · 04/12/2017 19:56

Strangely my elderly and rather racist Mum said she thought Meghan was very similar to Kate. Said something about long droopy hair before ranting about how she is another one for us to keep.

JassyRadlett · 04/12/2017 19:56

*newlyweds, obv.

sunshineintheclouds · 04/12/2017 19:57

generally find the British, English in particular, quite racist

Grin one of the best ironic statements ever!!

GingerbreadMa · 04/12/2017 19:58

"I've been told I have a 'fine bum for a white woman' by one of my friends quite a lot. Bring it on, I liked it."

One.
One person said that to you
One
And you really think thats comparable to POCs daily experiences?