'Lodger' stressing me out

[pollyerrington]

Hi, I've recently taken on a lodger. Lodger being the ultimate word - I was hoping for less of a housemate, and more of someone that keeps themselves to themselves.

When I interviewed him he mentioned having a TV in his room and a big comfy chair - great I thought, he'll definitely be in his room mostly.

EVERY night he's in my small sitting room. And he's been using my throw without asking me - so I felt I had to get him one to stop him using mine. I came home to him wrapped up in it watching sports on tv. He didn't once ask if I'd like to watch something else.

He makes tea every 20 minutes and uses multiple mugs - and leaves them on the side unwashed.
The worst thing though is that he sits in the sitting room and eats his food and does it with his mouth open. It makes me want to leave the room, the noise is honestly so horrible, and then he slurps his tea.

I had a date night the other night (clearly said it a couple of times) but he stayed in the sitting room whilst we had our date night!

I want to talk to him later to explain that I advertised for a lodger, not a housemate, and that I'd like him in the sitting room less.

Is that fair? and how do I go about saying it?! I don't want to be passive aggressive....
TIA.

It never ceases to amaze me that some posters, like Dangermouse and Whizbang, 'interpret' what people like the CAB say to suit their own arguments and spout absolute nonsense about what is and is not permitted.

Loving the way they twist things, too...
Whizbang for example: "Nah, sorry Booboo but this sort of nonsense re extracting cash from lodgers for substandard accommodation and/or unreasonable limitations is a well known abuse within our already warped housing market. You'll find no sympathy from me for those who exploit other in this way."
How on earth have you inferred that the OP is exploiting someone or that her accommodation is substandard or that any restrctions are unreasonable? If people don't want to be lodgers, they don't have to. They can pay the additional costs of renting their own place, either alone or with a friend.

You have no right to forbid a lodger from using the lounge, or ANY part of the house.
This is total bollocks.

Well spare rooms say it is expected these days that a lodger will have shared access to living rooms. So if not, you need to make this clear.

www.lodgers.com/what-should-I-provide1.html

I would probably give him a change rather than notice

"Hi Steve. The current situation isn't working for me. Basically, on reflection I don't want my lodger to have use of the lounge. If you are happy to continue living here on this basis, than fine. If you want to leave I totally understand that and I accept your notice."

Also OP show your new pros-pectic lodgers the house rules and get the new one you choose to sign them. House rules can cover doing your fucking washing up and not leaving mugs lying about!

I think if i were a lodger i would pick my landlord very carefully to ensure we fitted eachother.

Having said that, i doubt i would be any trouble, a positive boon to any household as im fully house trained, respectful,discrete and have excellent diy skills :)

Well spare rooms say it is expected these days that a lodger will have shared access to living rooms. So if not, you need to make this clear.

Yes, expected but you don't have to. You just make it clear in your add:

Access:
As well as your room you will have access to the kitchen diner.
Note there is no access to the siting room.

And adverts like this make it clear that it is room only, and use of kitchen and bathroom. £400 a month incl bills.

www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/suffolk/red_lodge/4273466

@Pengggwn semantics. The OP technically isn't giving him notice if she just has a convo saying "i don't want you to use the sitting room".

I'm really pleased to read this thread as I have been thinking about renting a room to a lodger for some extra money and it has put me off. It's obviously much better to learn the pitfalls before taking the first step. So thanks OP and I hope you either come to an agreement with current lodger or give him notice.

Whizbang you appear to be really negative about landlords (huge surprise on MN - not). Probably jealousy. You don't seem to understand that there's a difference between a lodger and a housesharer. The former pays less, does not pay a share of bills etc and it has been pointed out by several PP that non-access to rooms other than bathroom and kitchen is quite a common occurrence.

Yes expected, I know you don't have to, but you do need to make it clear what you are offering.
This is really OPs fault for not making it clear what she was offering. This is a business arrangement and needs to be treated as one.

If contract says he has use of living room, or if the initial advert said this, then there may indeed be legal things OP needs to do.

@SilverySurfer don't let is put you off. I have had nothing but good experiences over the past 10 years, apart from one guy who took the piss with his girlfriend and I gave him notice to quit.

Generally lodgers have stayed for 2 or 3 years so I can't be too bad ;-)

I do give them access to the sitting room as I actively want a more housemate style arrangement tho.

I've currently got a Monday to Friday guy which is working amazingly as you get the house back at the weekend and they don't come with all their worldly possessions.

OP said he signed a contract for room only with full use of kitchen. Why are people telling the OP she should have been clearer?

OP please don't take legal advice off people on here who rarely know what they are talking about.

I have rented rooms in my own home for 18 years.
The contract states, rent of room, use of kitchen and bathroom.
Rooms are furnished and have decent size tv, easy chair and coffee table.
All heating and bills are included, so obviously if it was a house share the cost to the lodger would be a lot more.
You have to be very clear with boundaries when you have someone in your home. Make it clear that the living room is out of bounds.
I also have a list of house rules, regarding noise, cleaning of communal areas, if guests are allowed and if so, the hours guests are allowed. Even to the point of no naked flames allowed, as I once needed to speak to a lodger in the early days and I couldn't believe my eyes when she opened the door as she had bought a bag of 50 tea lights and had lit every single one. Think of everything, if they don't like the rules, you don't want them.They are given a copy of house rules before they sign up and they sign that they have accepted the house rules.
I have two rooms rented out and very rarely have a vacancy.
My advice would be to tell this guy straight that he had signed for room, kitchen and bathroom and mention the washing up as well. He sounds a disgusting slob anyway, as I have found in the odd occasion I have rented to men.Hopefully if you set some rules he may move out. I now only rent to females.
Be firm, if you don't They walk all over you.

OP please don't take legal advice off people on here who rarely know what they are talking about.

Quite.

stitchglitched because OP has allowed use of the living room, and is now complaining about it. So she has not been clear.

And any advert should be clear that this is the case as well.

Did you show your lodger the living room when viewing the property? I assume not. And it’s not included in the contract.

As others have said, be clear about boundaries. He is not permitted to use the living room again. He must wash up daily etc.

Teehee, wrong assumptions SilverySurfer. Good story though.

@Pengggwn you don't have a rental agreement in the first place, so you wouldn't say that. You have signed a lodger agreement form which gives you licencs to occupy your room and sets out other conditions.

And if you did say that, I would just give you your fucking notice and not be flexible with the move out date (good luck finding somewhere else in the 2 weeks that is set out in my agreement) since in this case all the power is with the OP.

Byeeeeeeee