Aibu to disown dd if she responds to one more of my questions with "Nah mate".

[calamityjam]

Seriously, teach me to speak roadman so I can embarrass my 14 year old dd

Innit do choccywoccy mans bin sayin this shit for tiiiiiiime.

I remember my now 28 year old brother telling me dis gyal was peng when he was in year 8!

happy "what is going on" / how are things

Soup.

Wagwan means What's going on? .

Another one admitting I adopted "innit doe" ironically years ago and now it just slips of my tongue

Ahh this gives me fond memories of my teenage years, chattin bare shit an bussin tings.

I love it when the teens today come to my workplace and I respond in the same way they talk to me. The look of terror they give makes my day.

I work in a school, so I get all this with a "Miss" at the end

"Today we're going to dissect a heart"

"Are we actually Miss!?"
"Sick Miss"
"That's lit Miss"

This is a grammar school in a small market town in the arse end of nowhere.

The only way to respond is to look them straight in the eye and deliver a deadpan "Same"

Saw a hat today saying Christmas Fleek. That puzzled me!

It's not so much the words used, but the accent they put on makes me want to twat people. Do people not realise how fucking stupid they sound? Especially when it's someone older.
This and you people are letting happen.

Love this thread! 😂

Bought myself a car ride in silence couple of months ago, was taking my friends 14yr old son and his 2 friends to football as a favour, once I’d picked up the last of them I went for
“We on dis ting!”
Horrified silence the entire way there 😎

and you people are letting happen

Do you propose we follow our children all day and correct their language then?

As well as the incomprehensible slang texts, DS2 also sent me an equally incomprehensible text about fiscal policy (Accidentally. It was meant for a friend!). I have no worries about his ability to chose the correct language for a situation.

Heaven forbid we let our kids hang around near or with black kids.

Do any of these teenagers actually live in the inner city communities where these words/phrases are actually used?

I'll never forget the time I overheard a white MC Hertfordshire schoolboy saying "sick fam" on a train. Major cringe.

I havenent managed to summon the courage to go with "slide me, homeslice!" yet. I tried all day but couldn't say it without sounding ridiculous or, despite having a natural south London accent, like Dick Van Dyke.

Heaven forbid we let our kids hang around near or with black kids

Eh? Who said anything like that?

I just sent my DD a text with some good news followed by
Dat is well legit innit?
She replied “ just don’t Mother”

My 7-y-o-DD replies to pretty much everything with 'Seriously.' Said with a raised eyebrow.

If I want to embarrass her I dab. At the school gates. Works a treat.

The other day I said, loudly, in a cafe while having brunch 'this frittata is off the hook!' and my DH and DC were as mortified as I was.

Saaaaaf Laaandan born and bred here.

Heaven forbid we let our kids hang around near or with black kids

And some of our kids ARE black

Is there a slang phrase for yes or done? As in "yes, I have topped up your dinner money card, oh darling son of mine"

About 10 years ago I used to work in retail with 16-19 year olds who worked part time. They confused me so much.

If they were late to work it was because 'there was bare traffic, innit?!'

If they liked something 'that is bare sick, man.'

If they really liked something 'that is the illest/illist!' (sp)

If they thought something was crap 'that's brass man.'

They could speak normally to the customers though!

I went with "I on dis ting g" which may mean something entirely different to what I intended.

DS1 is now not speaking to me because I annoyed him so much last night trying out phrases and words from this thread, often deliberately inaccurately :) DS2 was very amused though, he found it the height of wit to say that he was off to "brush my teeth so they'll be bare peng". Innit.