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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
llangennith · 03/12/2017 11:49

Wouldn’t even have thought of taking a child out of the car while I pay for fuel. Whether in a car seat or regular seat belt, they stay in the car. I’ve never seen anyone take a child out of the car to go and pay!

LeonoraFlorence · 03/12/2017 11:53

I only ever use pay at the pump when DDs are with me. I wouldn't leave them alone in the car.

FlouncyDoves · 03/12/2017 11:54

I always leave her in the car. Sod wrangling her out and then back in for the sake of a few minutes. She has a toy to play with/the world to look at. She’ll be fine.

On the point of kidnapping - are you someone famous who’s child is likely to be kidnapped?!

I think you need to chill out. And also recognise that each parent will parent how they choose when in sole charge of their child.

honeyravioli · 03/12/2017 11:54

You're concerned about the car getting hit with her in it (and somewhat protected by her seat) and not about you getting hit by a car while carrying her?

I'm disgusted at your irresponsibility and appalled that you would even consider putting your child at risk like that*

*I'm not, obviously. But it makes just as much sense as your attitude to your husband about him leaving her in the car.

flumpybear · 03/12/2017 11:57

I left mine in the car but always had and still do have visual contact at all times

lazyarse123 · 03/12/2017 11:58

You're being a bit precious. The likelihood of your car being hit is negligible compared to when you're actually driving. As for kidnapping are you famous?

wrenika · 03/12/2017 11:59

I definitely would. Petrol station forecourts are pretty dangerous places so I'd most definitely keep a child safely in the car.

GandTforme · 03/12/2017 12:01

I've got 18 month old twins. No way would it be sensible/practical to haul them both through the forecourt. I also (shock horror!) Have to leave one in the car on the drive while I carry the other into the house. Your husband is being perfectly reasonable

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 03/12/2017 12:02

Yep. I do. Only when pay at pump isn’t working (which is rare)

Doublechocolatetiffin · 03/12/2017 12:02

I used to leave my DD in the car when paying for petrol - car locked and you could see it at all times. I’ve now got an electric car which has solved the problem!

Lizzie48 · 03/12/2017 12:03

The only time when it would be a no-no would be on a hot summer day. Then yes it would be irresponsible to leave a young child in the car.

BumWad · 03/12/2017 12:04

Always leave DS whilst I go and pay for fuel.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/12/2017 12:04

These threads are always a hoot. Of course you leave them in the car!

"What if it gets stolen?". Well, a kidnapper could break into your house and steal them when they sleep, but it's tremendously unlikely and you don't carry them about with you 24/7

Makesmilingyourbesthobby · 03/12/2017 12:05

I never said she was 4 she was 7ish & it was very true she told me it at the time it happened & was regularly said in front of me as a family story by all the family, yes I agree just locking the car prevents this but it stuck with me & I'd rather my child close to me in any circumstance & don't leave mine in any vehicle unattended, I live in wales so pretty rural but worked in a very busy garage & people saying a couple of minutes to pay where I worked I'd say it took a average of 5 mins to fill up & pay but sometimes people would be queuing for up to 15 mins like when card machine isn't working etc just not worth the risk in my eyes my choice is fill up get children hold they hand & go pay is far safer than leaving them up to you what you chose to do up to me what I chose to do as both have risks

WineAndTiramisu · 03/12/2017 12:05

My concerns are:
Her getting loose from straps more of a concern at 70mph on the motorway than stationary in a locked car
Choking on what?
Kidnapping/car theft unlikely in full view of you and on CCTV but granted, a very small risk the
Car getting hit much safer than getting hit whilst walking across the forecourt

Ceto · 03/12/2017 12:06

If your child can loosen her straps, you've got the wrong straps. The danger of her doing so is much greater when you're driving.

toobreathless · 03/12/2017 12:06

Crumbs. It wouldn't occur to me to take them in!

Plus what a PITA for everyone queuing behind while you unstrap and strap the kid(s) back in!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/12/2017 12:07

This was once debated on a group I'm on on FB and one woman swore she put her baby twins in a double sling and held her other 2 toddlers' hands as she crossed the forecourt Hmm

Desmondo2016 · 03/12/2017 12:08

I have done it in the past and would do it if I had to but it doesn't really arise now with pay at pump. I suppose if I was going into the kiosk to get a car wash token then yes I would.

Ansumpasty · 03/12/2017 12:10

I always do it; I don't think mine have ever set front in our local petrol station.

reallybadidea · 03/12/2017 12:13

This has been debated for as long as I've been on Mumsnet (12 years). On one memorable occasion several posters would categorically not believe that there were no petrol stations near where I live with pay at pump. It was then suggested that I drive 20 miles out of my way to the nearest one and that it was irresponsible to let my car get so low on petrol for this not to be an option. Grin Good times.

frogsoup · 03/12/2017 12:13

Sorry not sure why I thought she was four. But regardless, it sounds exceedingly unlikely, even if it made it into family lore. She may have told you about it herself, but hey, when i was 7 I told my classmates that a green imp came into the school in the evenings and that I'd seen him running off one morning as I came into school. They all believed it too Grin.
I have never in my life queued for 15 minutes in a petrol station. But again, yes, dynamic risk assessments - if there was huge queue I might act differently.
And I still say that objectively, there is no question that crossing a busy forecourt is more dangerous, whether or not you are holding their hands, than leaving them strapped in a car seat in a locked car, that you can see from the petrol station.

Justoneme · 03/12/2017 12:14

Sorry never left my DS in the car ... I think it's own personal preference.

frogsoup · 03/12/2017 12:15

Cherry chasing, I remember somebody on a disabled loos thread being told that it was absolutely fine to take her twin babies and toddler into a small cubicle, she should just strap one on her back, one on her tummy, hold the toddlers hand, and somehow do a wee as well Grin. Mumsnet is mad sometimes.

Abetes · 03/12/2017 12:21

I would leave them strapped in the car as long as I could see them from the shop. To be honest you pretty much always can see the car from the place you pay.

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