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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell DD

235 replies

Flippetydip · 01/12/2017 17:58

DD is 6, nearly 7. She's been vegetarian since August and has been absolutely adamant about it, brilliant with what she eats and shows no sign of relenting. I'm all for this and have also pretty much gone veggie. DH and DS have not, therefore there is meat stuff in the fridge.

Fridays are our night when we rush from a to b and back again without time to turn round. I WFH so try and fit that in amidst everything else. This is me preparing my excuse for being such a fuckwit. I did oven chips and what I thought were fish fingers for DD tonight before she went out to Beavers (this is not an AIBU about crap parenting and crap food, it's Friday, we're busy, they eat well the rest of the time!) All good, I had one, thought weird consistency but nothing more of it. Got them out to put in for DS later and realised they were chicken fingers. We have never had these in the freezer before, I can only assume DH bought them as part of a Co-op meal deal or some such thing.

AIBU not to tell DD? I don't think it will do either of us any good.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/12/2017 20:39

Hopefully she's told her Fiat is a type of car though.

WitchesHatRim · 01/12/2017 20:40

I'd usually say something like "mostly vegetarian but does eat fish" as it's completely clear.

I'd be a bit concerned if professional chefs don't know what vegetarian means.

stopbeingadramallama · 01/12/2017 20:41

😂😂😂

Lovemusic33 · 01/12/2017 20:44

My dd is a pescatarian (will eat fish) and has been since the age of 5, sometimes I give her spaghetti with sausages in and I tell her there’s no meat in them, she’s so fussy with food and has a very limited diet, she’s always pale as she won’t eat veg so I do occasionally try and get her to try meat.

PurpleDaisies · 01/12/2017 20:45

How old is she love? It’s pretty rubbish to lie to someone about what’s in their food.

Lovemusic33 · 01/12/2017 20:49

She’s 13, at first she wouldn’t eat meat because of the texture ( she has Aspergers and sensory issues ), I tell her that’s there’s probably not much meat in the sausages you get with the spaghetti so I’m not lying as such. She eats them about once a month. I worry about her health as she lives on cheese and bread, on and spaghetti.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 01/12/2017 20:56

I'm struggling to understand why your dd is eating fish if she decided to go veggie of her own volition. Does she know that fish is a meat? I know some pescatarian adults who still eat fish because it's good for you but I can't see a 6 yr old making that decision.

IAmNotAWitch · 01/12/2017 21:01

I wouldn't tell her. I can't see any moral difference between eating a chicken and a fish so if they haven't made her sick there is no reason to upset her.

As everyone above has said, vegetarians don't eat fish.

Angryosaurus · 01/12/2017 21:06

I don't understand all the judgement for a 6 year old vegetarian eating fish. It took me about 5 years to become 'properly' vegetarian as a child. 20 years later I still am. My ultimate aim is to become vegan but I'm a long way off. Not everything is black and white. She is only 6...

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 21:07

Is het even a word? I think I made it up!

“Het” is a fine Anglo-Saxon word. Grin

Also used in days of yore by Scottish children playing tig.

Emlou07 · 01/12/2017 21:07

OP... Just on the off chance you weren't aware by now.. Vegetarians don't eat fish Wink

MrLovebucket · 01/12/2017 21:09

For those 'worrying' about their children's health as vegetarians and giving them sausages, have you not read the scientific reports about processed meats being linked to cancer?

Vegetarians (and vegans) have been living perfectly healthy lives for quite a long time you know, some of them since birth.

Anyway, as I said earlier don't tell her she ate chicken as it will serve no purpose other than to upset her.

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 21:12

I don't understand all the judgement for a 6 year old vegetarian eating fish

What are you on about? Nobody is judging the child - or her mother - for her dietary choices. But there is no such thing as a fishing-eating vegetarian.

Clarification has been sought from the absentee mother about whether she meant “pescatarian” and if her daughter knows that fish are friends sentient creatures.

Slight judginess however towards the OP for starting a thread only to fuck-and-run. Xmas Wink

MrLovebucket · 01/12/2017 21:14

Pescetarian IS A TYPE OF VEGETARIAN!!!!!

No, it really isn't.

From the vegsoc link you posted:

"The Vegetarian Society defines a vegetarian as follows:
"A vegetarian is someone who lives on a diet of grains, pulses, legumes, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruits, fungi, algae, yeast and/or some other non-animal-based foods (e.g. salt) with, or without, dairy products, honey and/or eggs. A vegetarian does not eat foods that consist of, or have been produced with the aid of products consisting of or created from, any part of the body of a living or dead animal. This includes meat, poultry, fish, shellfish insects, by-products of slaughter** or any food made with processing aids created from these."

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 21:20

Pescetarian IS A TYPE OF VEGETARIAN!!!!!

Which part of the fish is a vegetable?

Does it work for other animals too? Can I eat bacon butties all day and call myself veggie? 🐷

Chrys2017 · 01/12/2017 21:23

Pescetarian IS A TYPE OF VEGETARIAN!!!!!

This is from the link you posted. I don't see pescetarian on this list:

"There are different types of vegetarian:
Lacto-ovo-vegetarians eat both dairy products and eggs; this is the most common type of vegetarian diet.
Lacto-vegetarians eat dairy products but avoid eggs.
Ovo-vegetarian. Eats eggs but not dairy products.
Vegans do not eat dairy products, eggs, or any other products which are derived from animals."

EdmundCleverClogs · 01/12/2017 21:24

Slight judginess however towards the OP for starting a thread only to fuck-and-run

Totally agree, there is no judgement on food choices but I can absolutely see why people are anything between bemused and cross at the silly excuses made for ‘fish eating vegetarians’. It’s not making a big fuss, a vegetarian doesn’t eat any meat, no ifs or buts, it’s ridiculous to try and bend it into any other ‘thing’. It is something you either are or are not, and if you deliberately eat any meat then you are not.

I’m surprised the op hasn’t returned though. They seem to have quite a substantial posting history, odd time to do a shit-and-run thread.

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/12/2017 21:27

I'd be a bit concerned if professional chefs don't know what vegetarian means

I knew one particular 5 star hotel who thought that both fish and ham were vegetarian.

How into vegetarianism is your dd as ds at 5 spat a piece of ravioli out of his mouth during school dinners because he could feel he was eating meat.

Dinner lady said she thought he wouldn't notice.

DiegoMadonna · 01/12/2017 21:31

Lol at trying to back up your point by posting a link that refutes your point. Oops.

OP, why on earth would you tell her? What purpose would it serve?

MrLovebucket · 01/12/2017 21:32

I knew one particular 5 star hotel who thought that both fish and ham were vegetarian.

The Royle Family springs to mind with the "wafer thin ham" comment from Nana.

MrMeSeeks · 01/12/2017 21:32

PESCETARIAN IS A TYPE OF VEGETARIAN!!!!!
No it isn't. It really isn't and it gets really annoying when people trot this out.
A vegetarian doesn't eat any animals or fish ( or anything with a face).

Your daughter is a Pescatarian, please stop using vegi, as it gets very Annoying/confusing when people claim to be vegi yet eat fish, or chicken.

I wouldnt tell her.
It serves no purpose.
Don't beat yourself up over it, it was accident, you didn't do it on purpose and it sounds like you are very supportive towards her.

oldmums · 01/12/2017 21:36

as a vegetarian myself, i would not tell her, just the once wont hurt her . xx

catkind · 01/12/2017 21:39

I remember Bavaria in the 90s being a challenge. "It's a salad so it's vegetarian". Not if it's a ham salad it ain't.

Oliversmum, what a horrible thing for the dinner lady to do. Could have made him ill too if not used to digesting meat.

"Fish is a sort of meat" again very much a question of usage. Most people I know class fish and meat as non overlapping categories.

TheZeppo · 01/12/2017 21:40

I'm Veggie. My dad recently made me a veggie burger. I took one bite and knew it was beef. It was a genuine accident and he was mortified.

Honestly- I'm 37. I'd have forgiven him even if I'd eaten the whole thing. There was no malice. She's tiny and hasn't noticed. No need to apologise! When she's 15 on the other hand 😂

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 21:45

Most people I know class fish and meat as non overlapping categories.

You must know a lot of dim people. Even if they don’t class fish as “meat”, it doesn’t follow that fish are vegetables.

Just keep explaining to them, very slowly,

fish are not cabbages
fish are not cabbages
fish are not cabbages