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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell DD

235 replies

Flippetydip · 01/12/2017 17:58

DD is 6, nearly 7. She's been vegetarian since August and has been absolutely adamant about it, brilliant with what she eats and shows no sign of relenting. I'm all for this and have also pretty much gone veggie. DH and DS have not, therefore there is meat stuff in the fridge.

Fridays are our night when we rush from a to b and back again without time to turn round. I WFH so try and fit that in amidst everything else. This is me preparing my excuse for being such a fuckwit. I did oven chips and what I thought were fish fingers for DD tonight before she went out to Beavers (this is not an AIBU about crap parenting and crap food, it's Friday, we're busy, they eat well the rest of the time!) All good, I had one, thought weird consistency but nothing more of it. Got them out to put in for DS later and realised they were chicken fingers. We have never had these in the freezer before, I can only assume DH bought them as part of a Co-op meal deal or some such thing.

AIBU not to tell DD? I don't think it will do either of us any good.

OP posts:
catkind · 02/12/2017 09:07

I've a feeling that you might have referred to a bible for your information. I could be wrong. But I don't think so.
Eh no. Rabid atheist here. I consulted several dictionaries in my home and online. You should try it. Only children's dictionaries stick to one true way, grown up ones talk about things like like different usage, sometimes, especially. They're describing the ways words are actually used in the world, not laying down the law about how they should be used.

My point is purely about language use. My mum is a very intelligent woman. The language environment that she was around (Oxbridge educated schoolteacher, so not exactly ignorant) it was quite normal to use vegetarian as a description for a no-mammalian-meat-and-poultry diet. The word pescetarian (sp?) hadn't been invented at the time so obviously she wouldn't have used that. It's clearly not that uncommon or outdated a usage either given the number of misunderstandings people are describing. You don't get to outvote a common usage by force of scorn, that's not how language works.

MrMeSeeks · 02/12/2017 10:34

Think its very unfair to say ops dd hasn't really chosen to stop eating meat.
Lots of kids decide without any influence from family.

GreatStar · 02/12/2017 10:49

MrMeSeeks .... ive no issue with what anyone eats or doesnt eat. Individual and entirely up to them
Just because I'm vegetarian doesnt mean I preach about others food choices.
It is however unfair when people describe themselves as vegetarian when they eat fish because this is not vegetarian and complicates things for vegetarians
Theres lots of examples on this thread of vegetarians being served fish because of misconceptions etc

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 11:02

Think its very unfair to say ops dd hasn't really chosen to stop eating meat.

Nobody knows why OP’s daughter stopped eating all-meat-except-fish.

OP hasn’t participated in her thread.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2017 11:59

i thinik u do cat

vegetarians dont eat living animals-thats a fact not a word in a 50 year old dictionary

BucksFrizz · 02/12/2017 12:09

This thread reminds me of a conversation I had with my boss...

Boss: I've been veggie for nearly 40 years!
Me: Wow, how have you found that?
Boss: Fine, because I can eat fish and have chicken sometimes

Grin
MyKingdomForBrie · 02/12/2017 12:25

Why is it always the poor fishes?

Pancakeflipper · 02/12/2017 13:28

I'm with MyKingdomforBrie - why are the fish so not worthy? They are always the food of choice by vegetarians not being vegetarian.
Poor fish.

Oliversmumsarmy · 02/12/2017 14:22

My point is purely about language use. My mum is a very intelligent woman. The language environment that she was around (Oxbridge educated schoolteacher, so not exactly ignorant) it was quite normal to use vegetarian as a description for a no-mammalian-meat-and-poultry diet. The word pescetarian (sp?) hadn't been invented at the time

This might be more to do with the area than anything else. The hotel I mentioned in my previous post was in an Oxbridge city.
I tried to explain to the chef what vegetarians ate he though vegetarians vegan and when I tried to explain what a vegan ate he called that absurd.

I remember discussing being a pescetarian at school. I thought it was a Latin word. Didn't know it was a relatively new word.

MrMeSeeks · 02/12/2017 14:52

GreatStar
I agree, if you'd read my first post i'd said that if you eat fish you're not a vegetarian...

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 02/12/2017 15:00

Don't tell her. I made mistakes in my early days of being a (proper) vegetarian - like a previous poster, I ate French onion soup and then found out about the beef stock. At a buffet I ate what I thought was mushroom omelette, then realised it was sausage-that-looked-like-mushrooms. I felt annoyed with myself both times, and like I'd gone back a step.

As for the pescetarian/vegetarian debate - I have to miss out on a Christmas dinner this year because the "vegetarian" option is salmon, and the caterers refuse to cook something actually veggie. Pescetarians need to stop using the wrong word.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 02/12/2017 15:03

...I read that back and feel I should clarify: if she'd ordered French onion soup off a menu, I would tell her about the beef stock so she'd know not to do it again. But in this case, when the mistake was out of her control, I don't see the point in telling her. I would if she asked for "those fish fingers we had last time".

JustDanceAddict · 02/12/2017 15:39

I was a fish-eating veggie for years and used to say I was a vegetarian. I don’t think pescatarian was a very well felt used word then. I was never a major fish fan but it was more convenient to be able to eat it sometimes. Was never served fish when said I was veggie though!!

JustDanceAddict · 02/12/2017 15:40

Agree you were more likely to be served vegan food than veggie, which is not to my taste.

PurpleDaisies · 02/12/2017 15:43

What do you mean “vegan food” isn’t to your taste? Vegan food isn’t one thing. Confused

tinysparklyshoes · 02/12/2017 16:14

God what a bunch of arseholes with the smug fish comments

Nothing smug about it.

"Oh no, I've given a vegetarian chicken when I meant to give them fish" is a really fucking stupid thing to say, and deserves all the comments.

MrMeSeeks · 02/12/2017 17:01

What do you mean “vegan food” isn’t to your taste? Vegan food isn’t one thing
In all fairness vegan cake does taste different! Rather like bread to me, though I quite liked it!

PurpleDaisies · 02/12/2017 17:45

In all fairness vegan cake does taste different! Rather like bread to me, though I quite liked it!

That’s vegan cake though. Loads of regular food is vegan. It doesn’t have to be a vegan version of a typically non vegan meal.

roundaboutthetown · 02/12/2017 17:52

The OP has said why her dd gave up meat, though. Ironically, it's because she was upset by seeing a live lobster in a restaurant and knowing it was going to be eaten. She then said she never wanted to eat seafood or meat again - then backtracked on the fish bit, which was very pesky of her. Wink

purplebunny2012 · 02/12/2017 18:10

Het up is definitely not just a northern word! FFS, I can't believe one person thought they made it up and another couple think it only exists at their end of the country!

purplebunny2012 · 02/12/2017 18:29

Seriously? The SED 8YO eats chicken nuggets, but hasn't eaten any meat? What planet are you on QuopQuop?

catkind · 02/12/2017 18:29

I remember discussing being a pescetarian at school. I thought it was a Latin word. Didn't know it was a relatively new word.
Merriam-Webster dates earliest use to 1991. Root is Italian not Latin i think or it would be piscitarian like the sign of the zodiac? I guess it sounds more impressive than fisharian!

cowshindtail · 02/12/2017 19:59

I wouldn't tell her just as I haven't pointed out to my vegetarian friend that Pepperoni isn't vegetarian (my daughter has spotted it in her fridge).

SewingMum46 · 05/12/2017 11:09

My dd became a "vegetarian" (her description) this year at the end of her first year at Uni "for various health and ethical reasons" (her words not mine). But she still eats Haribos, despite the rest of us telling her they contain animal products. And she'll still eat fish. The rest of us eat everything but we support her in what she wants to do with her personal diet. I wouldn't tell your dd about the chicken, and I'd let her make her own mind up about fish - she'll cotton on eventually. And I don't remember anyone using the "pescatarian" term until quite recently either.

GreatStar · 05/12/2017 13:52

Sewing mum youre daughter isnt vegetarian.
she doesnt eat meat or chicken but eats fish and other products made from slaughter? Why doesnt she just say "i dont eat meat or chicken"
The debate on this thread is really about that. About people describing themselves as vegetarian but theyre clearly not.
Honestly it makes things even more difficult for vegetarians