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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stealing from self service tills

174 replies

user1498912461 · 01/12/2017 13:54

Dh has started to steal from self service tills. Mostly small items such as chocolate bars or cans but today he came home with a new wallet! He bragged about how the wallet was free. He has also on occasion come home with blind bags for ds. He'll pay for one but take 3! I basically told him he was shoplifting and we had a big argument over it. He said "everyone does it" and that I'm no better as we were under charged in a restaurant once and we didn't say anything. I told him he could easily be caught but he doesn't see the big deal in it. AIBU?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 01/12/2017 14:23

He doesn't see the big deal about stealing? Does he have no morals or just a lack of common sense/decency? I don't know why some people are so self entitled that they think nothing of scamming the self service check outs but wouldn't be so brazen as to take something off a shelf and put it in their pocket.

Iprefercoffeetotea · 01/12/2017 14:24

Some people do do this but by no means everyone.

And it's stupid. He'll get caught. Even if he doesn't have any moral scruples, why would he want to go through the humiliation of getting caught, a possible court case and maybe losing his job? Impress on him the practical issues if he doesn't have a moral compass.

Creambun2 · 01/12/2017 14:25

Are you middle class OP?

NooNooHead1981 · 01/12/2017 14:26

The fact that you are asking strangers on an internet forum if you are BU is telling too. If you were not condoning his actions, you wouldn't need to ask.

Tell him to take a long hard look at himself and ask why he is doing it. As PP have said, maybe you need to get to the bottom of it and find out why he started to do it. Problems at work/home?

Good luck...

Maudlinmaud · 01/12/2017 14:27

I've also shop lifted by accident using self service. When I realised I went back in apologised and paid for the item. I was seriously worried about the consequences tbh but the customer service staff where very nice and actually laughed it off as well as thanking me for my honesty.
This same store prosecuted someone fairy recently for theft and it made the papers. So I consider myself lucky.

DustyMaiden · 01/12/2017 14:27

IME when he does get caught the security department will have several recordings of him stealing, he will have no defence that it was a mistake. He will go to court and maybe to prison.

SandyDenny · 01/12/2017 14:27

He's not stealing from the till he's just plain stealing, the method of payment (or not in this case is irrelevant)

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a thief, can you ring the shop and tell them to watch out for him.

Please don't let you DC have anything to do with stolen items.

user1486915549 · 01/12/2017 14:28

Of course we are not all thieves and shoplifters
What sort of circles does he move in !?

BastardGoDarkly · 01/12/2017 14:28

Make sure he knows, if he gets nicked doing it with ds there, s's will be called.

Could he really handle the hand on his shoulder as he's leaving the supermarket?

He seems confident he won't get caught,, he will, eventually.

Deux · 01/12/2017 14:30

Eeew. Of course not everyone does it. He's just saying that to make himself feel better as he knows it's wrong and theft.

Is he giving these stolen blind bags to your DCs? It would just taint everything, wouldn't it? What if he pilfers your Christmas present?

ShatnersWig · 01/12/2017 14:30

This Is the DH who you fell out with because his mother is at your house all the time (this being the MIL you say is ruining your child due to her compulsive spending habit). This is the DH who gobbles down his food and leaves you and the kids alone at the table. This is the DH who overruled you about whether your son should have a day off school or not.

Remind me why you’re with him again?

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 01/12/2017 14:30

It's stealing. I could muster up any moral outrage at anyone stealing from Tesco but he will be caught and then he'll be charged. It will cost him more that it will cost them.

stuckfornames · 01/12/2017 14:31

I used to work on self service checkouts..

I watched somebody for a few weeks buy a large salad bar and put it through as small, and use the "I don't want to bag this item" option to stop the scales messing up.

So I told my supervisor and the next week she pulled him up on it. He said that it was an accident. She said "no it's not, you've been doing it for weeks". He never came through self service again! I don't think I ever saw him in the shop again actually.

So he will get caught, eventually. They may already know!

I've had to stop so many people from stealing things, even a £14 piece of meat once!!!

IslingtonLou · 01/12/2017 14:32

I can see him getting caught then banging on about how it’s not like him, how rude the evil security guards/store management were...I’ve seen it before.

Tell him that he’s vile and he’s lost his integrity with you. And he will quickly lose his integrity with his colleagues and peers once he’s caught. It’s dishonest and shows his true character. Bummy thief

I hope he gets caught and publically shamedSmile

I would make a point to annoy him by asking if he paid for anything ‘oh got some shopping? Did you actually pay for it?’ ‘Oh those new shoes are lovely. Did you pay for them this time?’ ‘Let me see the receipt’ ‘good morning shop lifter!’ etc etc. As this shames him, and takes the shine away from his newly acquired items and differs it from actually purchasing them. Don’t brush it under the carpet, it’s not a noble deed. It’s clearly escalating & he’s being a bad role model for your kids. Imagine if they start stealing too

plominoagain · 01/12/2017 14:32

What does he do for a job , OP ? Because if he gets caught , he could be risking far more than a civil recovery ticket , or a fine ... and if he applies for a job requiring a dbs check , and it’s within 6 years of a caution being issued , it’ll be disclosed . And then he’d have to explain that he stole because he was a dishonest twat . Not likely to make him a shoo in for being employed I would have thought.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 01/12/2017 14:32

Oh, it's that DH? Tell him to go for a couple of flat screen TVs next time, he might get a custodial sentence and that would improve your life no end.

Laiste · 01/12/2017 14:33

So what'cha going to do OP?

Anthony warrol thompson the tv chef did this Shock I didn't know this!

But you know i can picture it ... he does look a bit shifty.

TheNaze73 · 01/12/2017 14:34

He’s being a thieving cock & along with the ridiculous Brexit increasing shop prices, for law abiding citizens

hollowtree · 01/12/2017 14:34

Not everybody does this. Even when on the bones of my arse I haven't shoplifted.

AnUtterIdiot · 01/12/2017 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Killerfiller · 01/12/2017 14:35

What shop did he get a wallet from on self service tills.

Are you hard up ?

I cannot imagine an asda wallet being worth the caution.

northernruth · 01/12/2017 14:35

I've done it by accident, I was mortified. No, not everyone does it

IslingtonLou · 01/12/2017 14:39

Could you go to the store the wallet was stolen from and buy a new one? You can leave the new one in the store and show your husband the receipt. Make it clear that you are not complicit in this theft and bragging

ifonly4 · 01/12/2017 14:40

If he's stilling from the self service tills where I work, believe me it won't be long before he gets caught., they might even be onto him and security and staff just waiting to catch him coming through the front doors and to actually catch him at it! I can guess who won't be having a happy christmas.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/12/2017 14:40

this is stealing.
No I don't do it.
I wouldn't want to be married to a criminal.

I think it's different to your restaurant example, though neither is great. This is making a deliberate decision in advance to steal, the other is no foreword planning, just capitalising on a mistake. Murder vs manslaughter type comparison.