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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Having my vagina touched in security, aibu to feel pissed?

328 replies

sadiesnakes · 30/11/2017 09:43

Just back from a short break to New York. I brought my 7 mth old dd, who is being fed aptimil formula, so purchased the individual 7oz bottles to cut out having no proper sterilized water facility’s in the hotel we stayed in. On the out going flight I packed 6 bottles and 4 baby food pouches which were put through a scanning machine thingie in security to detect whatever bad things it is they are looking for, reassured it was perfectly safe for the baby food, no problems. On the way back we had a short stopover, flying from LaGuardia to Dulles to Dublin (home). I had 6 milks in carryon and went through security, which is understandably very tight, no complaints there. All bags were scanned and again baby food was flagged. It was explained to me, since the bottles of formula were 7oz and not smaller I had a choice to either have them confiscated or accept an invasive 4 minute pat down. Since the trip was expected to be at least 12 hours I had no choice but to accept the pat down as my baby would obviously be starving and needed to be fed without question. It was thoroughly explained to me exactly how long it would take and what would happen, my sensitive areas would be gone over with the backs of the female security officers hand, I accepted and the pat down began, I was totally fine with everything, slightly embarrassed as it was done in front of a lot of other travelers but wanted to get it over with as pushed for time. She checked hair , neck, arms, chest, back, breasts, stomach, backside, up and down the insides of my legs, both front and back, so four times, but each time touched my vagina. Now im not prudish etc and understand they need to be very comprehensive in their searches, but this made me so uncomfortable I felt like bursting out crying. My Dh was holding the baby and all our luggage and was looking at me concerned and I felt so embarrassed. Basically I am saying aibu in being angry and humiliated that in order to have formula food for a 7 mth old baby for a 12 hour travelling period I have to have my vagina searched 4 times and does this actually make any sense, security wise? Sorry this is actually quite long😳.

OP posts:
BeyondAssignation · 30/11/2017 11:20

The Lockerbie bomb was in the hold, niki

sadiesnakes · 30/11/2017 11:20

Sorry, stupid autocorrect. I wasn't offered it in privacy.

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 30/11/2017 11:22

The harem trousers probably didn't help - the officer might have struggled to feel if there was anything untoward beneath the extra cloth, hence being very thorough. I'm often selected for swabbing, the x-ray machine and a pat down. All three. It's usually on my solo journeys. I'm a 56 year old granny in a respectable job and no criminal record. - but grannies have been known to be drug mules etc.

It's just part of life if you want to travel safely.

PollyPerky · 30/11/2017 11:22

Vagina is the word I've been taught and used all my life as does anyone who has ever needed to talk about it I've known
.
Was that mummy bear or daddy bear or baby bear who taught you that Goldilocks? Because they got it wrong. And now you are a grown up how about using the right term because when you have intimate exams by a dr, or go to your dr to discuss your bits, it could cause all sorts of misunderstandings.

Bummybum · 30/11/2017 11:22

Well they’re meant to offer privacy.

They introduced the more vigorous pat down in the US this April.

I don’t enjoy it but am happy to comply.

Bummybum · 30/11/2017 11:25

Seriously, I’d rather get a finger up my bum than been blown out of the sky.

Lethaldrizzle · 30/11/2017 11:27

We say vagina in our house rather than vulva. Gynaecological pendants shoot me now!

FlouncyDoves · 30/11/2017 11:28

They told you what would happen and you agreed to it.

Whether they should do that sort of search is another matter entirely.

EdmundCleverClogs · 30/11/2017 11:28

or go to your dr to discuss your bits, it could cause all sorts of misunderstandings.

Oh yes, all in a very 1970’s sitcom sort of way. You say ‘vagina’, all sorts of Carry On situations start to happen. Just announce that you have a problem with your fanny-flaps next time, then everyone knows what you’re on about.

Between the Harem pants and a pregnancy bump op, do you think perhaps the security people were a bit concerned you were trying to smuggle?

Bummybum · 30/11/2017 11:28

They make it very clear what they’re going to do. They explain it all first and then tell you before each step.

Even JFK, Newark and DC have always treated me respectfully whilst patting down.

HotelEuphoria · 30/11/2017 11:29

Something similar was posted not long ago and general consensus was that the safety of passengers trumped the OP having their bits felt by a security officer who is trained in this and does it all day.

If you don't accept it, then don't fly.

I would rather have my bits felt (and have done several times!) then not have my holiday or even worse not make it to the other side!

upperlimit · 30/11/2017 11:30

Well, I would rather be offered the opportunity to be searched in private and with clear information about what is going to happen next.

Clearly that didn't happen for the op and I can see why she is upset.

Migraleve · 30/11/2017 11:31

We say vagina in our house rather than vulva. Gynaecological pendants shoot me now!

Sarcasm unnecessary.

In this situation using the correct terminology is vital to be clear about what actually happened.

upperlimit · 30/11/2017 11:31

Clearly that didn't happen this time , though, did it Bunny so carrying on as though this is always the case is misinformation.

HotelEuphoria · 30/11/2017 11:31

Oh and (lighthearted) I would have said "had my fanny felt"!

wasonthelist · 30/11/2017 11:32

Seriously, I’d rather get a finger up my bum than been blown out of the sky.

Comments like this really concern me. Are you really saying if they introduced a finger up the arse for everyone you'd be fine with it because it's better than being blown up?

99.99999% of these "security" checks target people who pose zero threat. They are a sop to stupid people who will accept any shit to feel safe.

Bummybum · 30/11/2017 11:35

So you think they should profile?

White woman with a baby 99.9% zero threat so shouldn’t be checked?

Hmm
Bummybum · 30/11/2017 11:36

Why do you think they do the searches? Do you think it’s all a big conspiracy of people who like to grope people?

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2017 11:39

The vulva/vagina distinction is very relevant here. Having my vulva touches at the top of a search up and down my legs - unpleasant but bearable. Having my vagina searched- a completely different story!

Don't be so ridiculous.

The OP said it was in front of other travellers.

Do you really think they're going to strip her naked and search her vagina in front of the whole bloody airport?? Hmm

Abetes · 30/11/2017 11:40

It’s a consequence of flying in these dangerous times. My parents don’t like it because they don’t like to be touched by strangers so they don’t fly anymore. They drive or go on a cruise. If you want to fly you need to accept that this might happen. It’s not nice, but better than being blown up.

wasonthelist · 30/11/2017 11:43

Why do you think they do the searches? To create an illusion of safety.

DixieFlatline · 30/11/2017 11:48

Presumably the reason they didn't search OP's husband is because if there were two people working together to bring a weapon on then the second person could just as easily be some random other person sitting elsewhere on the plane rather than her DH?

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 30/11/2017 11:48

And now you are a grown up how about using the right term because when you have intimate exams by a dr, or go to your dr to discuss your bits, it could cause all sorts of misunderstandings.

Whilst I'm all for people using the correct terms for their parts of their anatomy, I can assure you any doctor will be well aware that a significant number of women refer to any thing from the mons pubis down as their vagina. It will in no way hamper medical treatment although clarifications will likely be made.

VladmirsPoutine · 30/11/2017 11:51

In this situation using the correct terminology is vital to be clear about what actually happened.

NO it isn't. No-one in their right mind thinks that any security officer stripped down OP's jeans and went rooting through her vagina tract.

If they did then the OP has grounds to sue the living day lights out of them for sexual assault.

It is patently clear what the OP meant. The vulva/vagina pedantry is just MN being MN.

BeyondAssignation · 30/11/2017 11:54

If someone is standing legs akimbo for a search, it's possible they could touch the entrance to her vagina. I don't think anyone suggested she had a cavity search in public

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