Having my vagina touched in security, aibu to feel pissed?

[sadiesnakes]

Just back from a short break to New York. I brought my 7 mth old dd, who is being fed aptimil formula, so purchased the individual 7oz bottles to cut out having no proper sterilized water facility’s in the hotel we stayed in. On the out going flight I packed 6 bottles and 4 baby food pouches which were put through a scanning machine thingie in security to detect whatever bad things it is they are looking for, reassured it was perfectly safe for the baby food, no problems. On the way back we had a short stopover, flying from LaGuardia to Dulles to Dublin (home). I had 6 milks in carryon and went through security, which is understandably very tight, no complaints there. All bags were scanned and again baby food was flagged. It was explained to me, since the bottles of formula were 7oz and not smaller I had a choice to either have them confiscated or accept an invasive 4 minute pat down. Since the trip was expected to be at least 12 hours I had no choice but to accept the pat down as my baby would obviously be starving and needed to be fed without question. It was thoroughly explained to me exactly how long it would take and what would happen, my sensitive areas would be gone over with the backs of the female security officers hand, I accepted and the pat down began, I was totally fine with everything, slightly embarrassed as it was done in front of a lot of other travelers but wanted to get it over with as pushed for time. She checked hair , neck, arms, chest, back, breasts, stomach, backside, up and down the insides of my legs, both front and back, so four times, but each time touched my vagina. Now im not prudish etc and understand they need to be very comprehensive in their searches, but this made me so uncomfortable I felt like bursting out crying. My Dh was holding the baby and all our luggage and was looking at me concerned and I felt so embarrassed. Basically I am saying aibu in being angry and humiliated that in order to have formula food for a 7 mth old baby for a 12 hour travelling period I have to have my vagina searched 4 times and does this actually make any sense, security wise? Sorry this is actually quite long😳.

This is farcical, somehow like:

OP: I made my friend a cake for her birthday and she smashed it in my face. AIBU to never talk to her again?
MN: What type of cake was it?
Sensible poster: Yanbu, why would she do such a thing?
MN: Was it a Victoria sponge? That's a pretty light cake.

Fuck me everyone that says vulva instead of vagina well done to you and your educated selves

It doesn’t make you look smart.

I think they were just doing their job but having been pulled over and searched at random at LAX before and asked to undo my jeans in front of the queue of passengers rather than taken into a room or behind a screen I can understand why you'd be upset. I was emotional too. It's horribly invasive but necessary sadly.

The posters complaining about others asking for clarification aren't helping. OP was potentially a bit vague, people asked for clarification, she answered, that should be the end of it.

The selection for security checks is total bollocks - a numbers game. If they wanted total security, then it needs to be done El Al style. EVERYONE is thoroughly searched. Which is how they found the pregnant woman who was carrying explosives onto s flight from Heathrow. She was set up by her lover
Search everyone - but can't do that - as flights would take forever to check in. Has anyone said they don't mind during to check in for five hours yet for every flight as long as they are safe?

I knew before reading the thread the 'vagina/vulva' shit would be thrown out, it's ridiculous. Honestly heard no-one in real life refer to it as a vulva, at any stage.

Pedants not pendants!
A gynaecological pendant would be a very different thing!

it's ridiculous

It's not though. There is a massive difference between having a patdown where someone touches your external genetalia through your clothing, and someone actually penetrating you.

I don't see why people are so outraged by others wanting to know exactly where the op were touched.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING ABOUT A PRINCE ALBERT UPTHREAD

Honestly heard no-one in real life refer to it as a vulva, at any stage.

Aren't you just a teeny bit embarrassed to confess to this? It shows more about the people you talk to and their level of education or knowledge of anatomy.

Why defend ignorance as if it were a virtue?

Not embarrassed Polly, not even a teeny weeny little bit. For starters, it isn't a topic that has come up regularly.

Your snippy little answers say a lot about you, by the way.

Ignorance can be bliss, can't it?

Vulva sounds like a shit car.

PollyPerky, with the greatest respect, get a life. Of all the things to get jumped up about, this barely registers as important. I bet you’re one of these fun people who has their toddlers ‘use the right anatomy’ rather than ‘willy’ or ‘minnie’, amongst other super pedantic behaviour. No one likes the person who has to be ‘right’ all the damn time.

Vulva is such a vulgar word, as is vagina. Can we not use the correct terminology? FLAPS

I'm afraid I laughed way too much at that

Polly I’m sorry but vulva is rarely used even by gynaecologists.

Polly the OP has said she got it wrong and meant vulva. Why are you still harping in about it?

If you’d read the OP properly you’d have seen for your own that she’d got vulva and vagina mixed up.

That is true that even gynaecologists rarely use vulva, they use FLAPS! Which is short for the latin term Flappingious Dangligious

Polly, do you really go around discussing your anatomy with people just to check that they know the difference between vulva and vagina?

Stop harping on. OP has admitted the mistake (not that she should have had to), so lets stay relevant to the thread.

There is a Pedant's Corner on here if you want it.

Oh, now I really prefer FLAPS!

Is Ladies' Flaps permissible?

'Flaps'????? WTF??

I haven't read all of the responses but I agree that you are not being unreasonable to have felt uncomfortable with such a search. You are not being unreasonable to feel angry and humiliated and no, this does not make any sense security wise.

The aircraft plot of 2006 to detonate liquid explosives disguised as soft drinks was perpetrated by men. The shoe bomber was a man. The vast majority of terrorist attacks and mass shootings are carried out by men. The risks associated with terrorism and firearms are overwhelmingly associated with men.

Your entire party should have been searched in the same manner and to be honest, I cannot imagine such an intimate search of a man's crotch area which would ensure that he was not concealing a detonator under his penis.

I think you are right to feel outraged. The fear generated by terrorist attacks is fed by disproportionate and ineffective security controls that increase anxiety levels. Not quite the same risk factor but this calls to mind the quote by John Oliver: "One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport. Thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our (US) regulation of guns."

You’re wrong @ForgivenessIsDivine

Dh gets searched as much as me if not more. And they feel under his penis and balls. And skirt around his bum hole.

Again, do people then agree with profiling?

I have no desire to 'fuck you'

Cousin - the ring needs to be relatively thick to stop a sort of cheesewire effect...
Now that is tmi

lethal

I prefer "flappage" to flaps...