Having my vagina touched in security, aibu to feel pissed?

[sadiesnakes]

Just back from a short break to New York. I brought my 7 mth old dd, who is being fed aptimil formula, so purchased the individual 7oz bottles to cut out having no proper sterilized water facility’s in the hotel we stayed in. On the out going flight I packed 6 bottles and 4 baby food pouches which were put through a scanning machine thingie in security to detect whatever bad things it is they are looking for, reassured it was perfectly safe for the baby food, no problems. On the way back we had a short stopover, flying from LaGuardia to Dulles to Dublin (home). I had 6 milks in carryon and went through security, which is understandably very tight, no complaints there. All bags were scanned and again baby food was flagged. It was explained to me, since the bottles of formula were 7oz and not smaller I had a choice to either have them confiscated or accept an invasive 4 minute pat down. Since the trip was expected to be at least 12 hours I had no choice but to accept the pat down as my baby would obviously be starving and needed to be fed without question. It was thoroughly explained to me exactly how long it would take and what would happen, my sensitive areas would be gone over with the backs of the female security officers hand, I accepted and the pat down began, I was totally fine with everything, slightly embarrassed as it was done in front of a lot of other travelers but wanted to get it over with as pushed for time. She checked hair , neck, arms, chest, back, breasts, stomach, backside, up and down the insides of my legs, both front and back, so four times, but each time touched my vagina. Now im not prudish etc and understand they need to be very comprehensive in their searches, but this made me so uncomfortable I felt like bursting out crying. My Dh was holding the baby and all our luggage and was looking at me concerned and I felt so embarrassed. Basically I am saying aibu in being angry and humiliated that in order to have formula food for a 7 mth old baby for a 12 hour travelling period I have to have my vagina searched 4 times and does this actually make any sense, security wise? Sorry this is actually quite long😳.

I had similar flying back from Switzerland - the female officer did a full pat down and touched/felt my breasts several times both over and under my bra...seemed a bit excessive.

My dog is called foof.

I suppose with the loose harem pants it would be hard to actually detect doot-level by eye, so they'd almost need to come into contact with that part in order to conduct a thorough search.

Whilst many are saying "ohhh I'd be fine with that" everyone has their own ick-level. OP's hit it. Unfortunately the security pantomimes we have to go through are now part and parcel of air travel (and IME the US take it waaaaay more seriously). If it's going to make you uncomfortable I guess you have to decide whether it's worth it. Or wear leggings.

It's not nice but then a lot of things aren't nice and we just have to deal with them. I'm sorry you were upset.

I thought if you ordered the formula from collection at Boots/relevant pharmacy then you collect the milk once you've gone through security.

That way you are not carrying it through security so they won't stop and search you.

You could have hidden anything or carried anything on in the formula, especially as you were carrying more than the allowed amount.

Emily, whilst it's easier to do that you don't have to. You can carry an amount of formula / baby food as reasonable for the length of your journey. Heathrow have special trays for it to be scanned in. I carried Aptamil in hand luggage back from the US last month.

Sorry, I know I'm labouring this but it's really important to know if you're travelling with a baby.

For Polly, I would like to clarify that I don't have the time nor inclination to provide this information from every single airport website just to prove I'm right.

Although, now I don't know if by 'hold baggage' they mean suitcase or my vagina...

Well, it would avoid the searching if everyone hid their six bottles of formula in their vagina from now on...

It is grim I had a similar search done at a small UK airport for a domestic flight recently- no liquids and the only electronics my mobile and its charger - because my underwired bra set off the metal detector. I said to the woman doing the search before she started that it was almost certainly my bra. At the end of the search she cheerfully admitted that the detector showed that there were 3 trigger points one under each arm and one in the middle of my back - ie 2 underwires and the hooks and eyes for the bra. Not quite sure what business she had between my legs then.....

I was totally humiliated and reduced to shaking and tears at London Gatwick.

I set the beeper off - maybe the metal lace holes in my shoes - so I apologised and turned to go back and put them on the belt. They stopped me. I was then patted down for over twenty minutes by a trainee who was being supervised by a male officer.

I was shaking and crying, I was wearing knickers, a bra, loose linen drawstring pants and a loose linen tunic. Pretty difficult to hide anything. No pockets or linings or folds.

The searcher's hands were inside my clothes, down my waistband, inside my bra, between my legs. I had to put my foot up so they could go up inside my trouser legs from the bottom. It was an assault. I said "You can see I have nothing" and the guy threatened to take me away to a private room. There were seven men standing round watching - as well as the crowds waiting. I had two youngish children who had gone through ahead of me and were waiting on their own , watching this and crying. It was absolutely inhuman.

So I am with you OP. It is a disgrace

Oh and my shoes were gym shoes and I'd been told I didn't have to take them off. I was barefoot during this search

Or it could have been my underwired bra.

You could have hidden anything or carried anything on in the formula

The risk that a woman carrying formula for her child who is travelling with her would be the perpetrator of an aircraft bomb plot is infinitesimal.

The pat down is disproportionate to the risk.

I'm surprised to hear so many posters have experienced this. I've been patted down many times, but never has so much as a little finger passed over my crotch area. Inner thighs and under breasts is as intimate as it's ever got. I would expect at least the offer of privacy for anything more; the fact these searches are being done in view of other passengers makes me think the previous posters who say this is a show of power have it right.

And I feel appalled for the pp who mentioned standing in a plastic box with breathing holes while waiting. That is dehumanising and I simply don't believe a more sensitive way to deal with that particular situation could not be dreamt up.

and do feel this is ott, since I wasn't actually suspected of any wrong doing, just basically having formula food for an infant.

You do not know what you were suspected of. Irrespective of how you presented yourself.

The rules are there to protect your children as well as mine.

Telling the op that she's being dramatic is minimising her emotions and feelings. She can feel upset and recognise that in general the security checks are a good idea.

The risk that a woman carrying formula for her child who is travelling with her would be the perpetrator of an aircraft bomb plot is infinitesimal

The pat down is disproportionate to the risk

She was carrying more volume of liquid than was permitted. She for further checked to make sure she wasn't carrying anything else. She easily could have put drugs or swapped the contents of the milk.

You can't say for definite it wouldn't happen and I can't say for definite that it would, but either way, she was searched to make sure she wasn't carrying anything else she shouldn't be.

Emily, whilst it's easier to do that you don't have to. You can carry an amount of formula / baby food as reasonable for the length of your journey. Heathrow have special trays for it to be scanned in. I carried Aptamil in hand luggage back from the US last month

That's just me being lazy. I'd order it for collection to save any confusion over what I could and couldn't take.

Or if I was insistent on taking my own, I'd check first what I could take.

Unless the OP had a very different pat down to the one that's now been implemented in the States the security guard would have run her hand up the inside of the OP's leg from the front and back up her inner thigh until her hand hit the OP's pubis. I've had this type of pat down and found it a bit depersonalizing but not particularly embarrassing as they happen all the time, with people either randomly selected or picked because the scanner goes 'bip' or some other security red flag (like trying to take things you are not allowed to take). I've seen lots of people being patted down and never assumed they were up to no good. I would probably have been wearing more robust clothes though so perhaps felt a bit less vulnerable (although I wouldn't have had dh with me).

The risk that a woman carrying formula for her child who is travelling with her would be the perpetrator of an aircraft bomb plot is infinitesimal.

Exactly. I would be very interested to know what percentage of women travelling with infant milk have actually turned out to be terrorists when searched. But of course no-one would tell us that as the charade has to be maintained.

OP I’m sorry you had to go through this. It would have upset me too. It’s a shame you can’t complain as no doubt that would get you on a list for a full body cavity search on your next trip . I’m glad you posted because it’s important to expose these people. I choose not to travel to the States any more because in my experience their airport officials do not treat visitors well.

I am frequently patted down as I can’t walk far so use the wheelchair service at airports. They always feel under my boobs and around my crotch. I’m pretty sure most of them are in it for the power trip. My worst experience was with an over enthusiastic officer at Heathrow who vigorously manipulated my recently operated ankle because I might have something hidden under the brace. Because apparently middle-aged female wheelchair users with limited mobility are really likely to be terrorists. I spent most of my trip in bed as a result. I try to avoid Heathrow now as well. Second worst was at Bristol where they dropped and broke my bottle of liquid medication after categorically stating that my Swiss prescription was ‘not a prescription’. So ignorant.

It’s the guilty-until-proven-innocent attitude that I hate the most.

Oh clear off with your 'did you mean vulva' comment. The OP is upset - being pedantic just makes you look like a twat.

I think it's relevant in this instance.

No, it really isn't as the OP stated it was a pat down in front of other travellers with the back of the person's hand. No one genuinely thought that she had had an internal search of her vagina. It's 100% pure pedantic bullshit. Fact.

Sorry, nor very pleasant but blame the bombers

Yes this from @specialsubjecr OP, it's sad but very true.

I'm sure someone will correct me but the liquid thing comes from one of the foiled attacks I believe in which they were either planning or it was a possibility they were planning to use things like baby bottles to hide certain chemicals etc.

I think you're feeling angry at the fact they did it publically, almost like they're making an example out of you. Understandable.

But just imagine that scenario with an actual terrorist couple though. Woman gets patted down whilst partner goes through unvetted and lots of possible things and products undetected.

i'm not sorry it happened! it's for the protection of the many.
the op is being precious. it is a standard procedure. End of story! I believe they have to check every x many persons sometimes your number comes up. it's not sexual it a routine pat down.
one more great reason to breast feed, easer if your a frequent flyer.