To think this isn't appropriate or very professional from school?

[Peppapigshouse]

My child's church primary school has a special mass on an evening after school and they've asked children and parents to attend.

The school has now sent a text saying that children can wear their own clothes, but ha e stated "No tracksuits, short skirts or strappy tops".

It's not the tracksuits bit that bothers me, it's the bit about no short skirts or strappy tops.

Why not just ask for appropriate clothing for winter church? Why the need to specify about short skirts and strappy tops. These are primary school children and it just sounds like they are implying something.

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.

" 'skirts of a modest length'. Enrages me"

Really? I can't get worked up about that. Bullying enrages me, violence enrages me, crime enrages me. Skirts "of modest length" is merely a polite request

I can only conclude that you are easily enraged.

I'd say they are implying that in their experience parents dress their children inappropriately for church, and they have to tell them what they shouldn't be wearing even though they shouldn't have to?

Better to have asked the children to wear school uniform and a warm coat.

This is because people do not interpret ‘appropriate clothing’ in the same way. They clearly feel the need to be specific, probably owing to inappropriate clothing being worn on previous occasions.

Sorry, I honestly would not think twice about a message like this.
But I'm quite an easy going person..and it would take a lot more than this to be 'enraged'!

Regular church goer here (and mother of three boys who wear shorts all year round). I think this a badly written dress code- they probably just mean dress smartly in accordance with the occasion.

PS: We go to local non-religious state primary and secondary schools. What would Jesus do (school-wise)?! That's a whole other thread though.

It’s a bit paternalistic and patronising, but inappropriate or unprofessional? No.

I can only imagine that you have absolutely no idea that some kids do wear very short skirts and strappy tops. My daughter's school always gave very clear and explicit guidelines on dress code, e.g. no strappy tops, no cleavage showing, no ripped jeans, no bare midriff etc. It is unbelievable what some parents let their very young children wear. I think the school is being totally professional and very appropriate.

I think the issue is people going into churches not dressed according to that churches code. I don't think it's appropriate to have a go at the school .

Several people have made comments about shorts - my son's uniform was shorts until he was 7 so always went to church in shorts - i would not expect this to be an issue in a church.

It regular church dress code. No hats for men (but women can - very sexist!), no bare shoulders or arms, no knees on show for women.

It's about respect.

Regular church goer here (and mother of three boys who wear shorts all year round). I think this a badly written dress code- they probably just mean dress smartly in accordance with the occasion. That's the trouble though, what does smartly dressed mean? Maybe a little girls latest party frock and what is appropriate, maybe the parents never go to church and think the party dress is appropriate.

I do think it is difficult to be clear and not offend people. It would be nice if people all understood the code.

Some people consider the short skirts, strappy tops to be appropriate for any occasion even for primary school aged kids. It's a Mass not a party so suppose the school is being extra cautious.

I was told the story of a kid who turned up as a representative of a local group for a Remembrance Sunday parade wearing a short denim skirts and studded Bratz denim jacket. Just as plans were being made to put her behind some taller children her mother was spotted. Wearing a turquoise velour tracksuit. For a Church Service of Remembrance.

Some people are totally and utterly clueless.

Poorly written dress code. Exhibiting everyday sexism. End of.

Even saying semi formal with shoulders, midriffs and knees covered would have been a safer way for them to proceed - that's what it says on the tourist signs outside religious places in Europe for those not familiar with the appropriate attire to wear inside.

Er, no, that’s not my experience. Instead there are pictures of a strappy top, a short skirt and short shorts with crosses through each of them to show they’re not appropriate attire.

This has reminded me of a wedding, the bride was very well blessed in the breast department (not that flat chested me was jealous) and she wore a very low cut strapless dress. It was a wonder of engineering that it stayed in place and it was hard to look anywhere else as you waited with bated breath to see if it stayed there. I have honestly never seen anyone in real life with such a revealing top. My mother was most indignant on behalf of the priest as she felt it was awful for him when the bride knelt down. I thought it might make his day but who knows?

at our (Catholic) school this is completely par for the course. I'm struggling a bit that you are surprised this type of rule exists in a faith school - they aren't exactly renowned for their gender-free dress regs. We don't have a uniform, but any girl in the school will tell you that even for PE, their shorts have to be below their fingertips when their arms are by their sides, and that no strappy tops are allowed ever.

there are still girls that push the rules, obv. sometimes the teachers let them get away with it (for example, the current y7s are a rule-testing bunch ) and so it would be completely par for the course to remind parents of the regulations for a formal mass. the school doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of father wotsisname and be accused of letting standards slip.

ultimately, if your kids attend a school where formal mass is a thing, i don't think acting surprised when they exhibit a horror of female flesh really fits.

i'm not suggesting that the Almighty cares - He apparently had a soft spot for prostitutes and whatnot - but the church in these times is less egalitarian. it's not a good thing, but the pearl clutching is bit far fetched. it's not exactly a shock.

I regularly write letters home about non uniform days at school and always state no short skirts, stroppy tops, shorts or ripped clothing. The detail is there as I am utterly fed up of arguing with teenagers about what is suitable or appropriate clothing for a 'professional' situation.
I don't want to see their bums or boobs or bellies. Seriously, it is school not a nightclub and they are are 11 to 16, not adults.

I think at senior schools round here the boys start to be dressed inappropriately at senior school, why is having your trousers so low slung that everyone can see your boxers such a thing? At the primary schools the boys seem to have their trousers pulled up.

Hmmm Now you see I kind of get this request because some girls do treat home clothes as a fashion parade and I am really bemused by how strappy girls party dresses are in winter... do they not get cold? DD doesn’t do dresses so it’s not been an issue for us really but I have come to the conclusion that either all little girls are very hot blooded nowadays and never feel the cold or... rather more likely... unlike me, they don’t live with a northern fellow who has a firm hand on the thermostat so that it is only 2 degrees above perishing at all times! The reality is that this being held in a church where there is an expectation for a certain level of covering up and smartness... school uniform has its advantages at times!

However... did you say that the school doesn’t allow girls to wear trousers?!!! 😤

I think YANBU. I'm not a church goer but have been to a lot of Catholic churches in Italy, usually in search of frescoes.

The wording is crass. I've picked up enough about the rules to know shoulders, male and female should be covered in church and shorts should be a suitable length, again male and female. There will usually be pictures of whats banned for men and women and TBH, it's the same.

If you go round St Peters you will find a load of unsuspecting tourists having to wear scarfs as sarongs, or draping them round their shoulders to cover up. Have also seen blokes in vest tops or no tops turned away or given shirts at other churches.

It could easily have been worded as 'Clothing needs to be appropriate for church: shoulders covered, no bare legs above the knee and smart - no tracksuits. Please bear in mind church can be cold in winter and wrap up warm'

No reference to girls in strappy tops at all.

On a 'Dress Down' day at a school where I used to work, a Yr 7 girl arrived in a halterneck, totally backless shimmery top. You could see the top of her bum as she wore it with hipster trousers. Sadly, that's what some parents think is appropriate attire. I don't blame the school one bit.

Poorly written dress code. Exhibiting everyday sexism. End of.

Touched post too soon.
I just wanted to say that when someone ends with 'End of', it usually means they are frightened of being contradicted. :)

Yh I think the tone of the school communication is odd and sexist. And I really don't see its any of the schools business either. Its out of school time isn't it? Rude and I would feed it back to a teacher I trust to raise it in a teacher meeting or a member of the PTA.