To think this isn't appropriate or very professional from school?

[Peppapigshouse]

My child's church primary school has a special mass on an evening after school and they've asked children and parents to attend.

The school has now sent a text saying that children can wear their own clothes, but ha e stated "No tracksuits, short skirts or strappy tops".

It's not the tracksuits bit that bothers me, it's the bit about no short skirts or strappy tops.

Why not just ask for appropriate clothing for winter church? Why the need to specify about short skirts and strappy tops. These are primary school children and it just sounds like they are implying something.

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.

I suspect the short skirts might have something to do with kneeling to receive communion.

Are you the parent who sends their kids camping with a brolly and wellies when the organisers specified waterproof clothing?

I taught year six today and there were boys wearing shorts. I particularly noticed as I was cold.

Hard hat on here, but I think we might be on the wrong side of history re women's and girls' clothing in the late c20- today. I winced when I saw an advert for girls skorts showing a primary school aged child doing a cartwheel, but on reflection if the victim blaming element of 'modest' and 'appropriate' clothing can be reframed, it could be a good thing.

I work in a school. The only reason messages like this get sent out is because at the last Mass, people did the exact things listed on the message. They dont want it to happen again. Nobody wore shorts, thats why its not listed as an unsuitable outfit.

There's a lot of stereotypes and assumptions here on what 'girls do' and what 'boys do'.

No I'm not a parent that dresses my children inappropriately. It's got nothing to do with me not liking appropriate clothing for church.

I simply don't like the implication that girls and their parents can't be trusted to get dressed.

Should be a uniform of Christmas themed onesies! Problem solved and the little darlings will all be warm and cosy.

You are over reacting OP. The school obviously has seen the result of a "no rule" no uniform event and don't want it repeated. I salute them for taking the lead on this.

Boys don't usually wear short shorts, belly tops and sparkles. That's just the reality.

If you have a problem with their instructions, don't go to the Mass as a protest.

is it then ok for the boys to turn up in short and tshirts

There is a different between t shirts and scrappy tops. One covers the shoulders and upper arm, the other doesn't. It doesn't say that girls can't wear t shirts either.

Shorts - could argue similar I guess, though it is less likely that anyone will be wearing properly short shorts at this time of the year, wears people do sometimes wear short skirts even in the winter. The types of shorts I have seen school boys in at this time of the year are more tailored type, longer length, almost reaching the knees.

Exactly cherrychasimg we all (I hope) realise it's not appropriate to turn up at church, in December dressed for a Summer disco.

You would be surprised.

The tracksuit would bother me. My primary child doesn’t own any trousers, except school trousers, that aren’t tracksuit bottoms. How does a tidy pair of black fleece trousers worn by an autistic child piss off God exactly?

I simply don't like the implication that girls and their parents can't be trusted to get dressed.

Maybe their experience of the past has been that some people do come inappropriately dressed. I have definitely seen it in some situations.

is it then ok for the boys to turn up in short and tshirts? they havent said no shorts or Tshirts for girls, why would they say no shorts or Tshirts for boys? :s
A lot of people haven't been in a centuries old church in winter, and that should probably be mentioned, but yes I imagine its a "be sensible, its not a fashion show" statement.

Wow. You are massively overthonking this. I mean. Really!

Clearly people have turned up in the past dressed like this, so they need to spell it out.

Get a grip

re tracksuit bottoms, well if allowed there may be some who will do the designer/latest trend/top name jobbie version.

That is scandalous OP! I think you should find a different school immediately. Or, if no other school is available, home school your children.

I simply don't like the implication that girls and their parents can't be trusted to get dressed.

Why don't you like an implication that is true?

I also haven't noticed any girls wearing short skirts or anything like that for mass or none uniform days, I volunteer at the school so I'm sure I would have noticed.

I have noticed girls wearing the school skirt with ankle socks when it's freezing, yet the school doesn't allow girls to wear trousers.

I'm not stupid, I know what's appropriate for church, I simply think that you either trust parents, or you don't.

Those that want to dress for a disco will find a way around the request, to me the text suggests there's a girl problem. I don't like that.

Flowerpot so you're saying that girls and their parents can't be trusted to dress properly.

So half of the population can't be trusted to dress properly?

Wow.

They haven't said anything about girls only not being allowed that so surely they're being totally fair and not allowing boys too.

I can assure you that my ds, who is in year 6 would choose shorts and a t-shirt as his evening wear. But his shorts are down to his knees so as decent as a knee length skirt.

Peoppa,

3 items of clothing are named.

2 relate to girls, 1 relates to boys. Are you saying that, in order not to be sexist, the school should have made it an even 2 and 2 - so a 'no tracksuits, football shirts, strappy tops or short skirts'?

I can understand that it could be seen to be sexist if there were 8things listed that a girl cannot wear, and none for boys, but a difference of 1 in the number of items mentioned relating to boys vs girls doesn't seem to merit a 'so inappropriate and unprofessional' comment?

The school's comments will have related to a) what the church would accept (it is common for female visitors to catholic churches in Europe, IME, to be asked to cover shoulders, so that 'strappy tops' comment may be generated by the church not the school) and b) their own observation of inappropriate clothing worn on similar occasions (tracksuits by boys, short skirts by girls).

Again IME of visiting churches all over the world, both sexes can wear adequate shorts and T-shirts without any issue, but those with bare shoulders and very short skirts / bare midriffs can be asked to cover up.

YOU may never dress your child inappropriately, in which case these guidelines aren't for you and you shouldn't be offended by a general message of no direct relevance to you. However, ask any school teacher in any school that ever has non-uniform occasions, and they will assure you that there are a surprisingly high percentage of entirely normal parents who allow their children to wear the most astonishing things on non-uniform days. If it isn't a public occasion, then we will deal with the issue through lending appropriate clothes, providing e.g. uniform jumpers for playing outside and in extremis ask the child to change into PE kit for the day. If it is a public occasion, especially one where parents will also be present, having someone totally inappropriately dresses is harder to remedy discreetly at the time, hence the guidance beforehand.

Does it say 'girls are not to wear strappy tops or short skirts' or a general 'no strappy tops or short skirts'? because I'm guessing their instruction applies equally to the boys... my guess is also that normal shorts and t-shirts would be fine for either since the torso and upper arms would be covered as would their underpants, short skirts being an issue when sitting etc, though I agree thick tights/leggings underneath negate that problem anyway.

Flowerpot so you're saying that girls and their parents can't be trusted to dress properly.

I'm saying that your school seems to have had the experience that parents and girls and boys can't be trusted to dress properly at all times.

So half of the population can't be trusted to dress properly?
Wow.

No, your school's population. Many schools' populations judging by all number of pupils sent home for uniform violations. Girls and boys. Some young men and women in the workplace. Some older men and women.

Your school has merely sent an instruction to remove any uncertainty about what is or not appropriate. I cannot for the life of me work out why you'd have a problem with such helpful clarity.

I think you're trying to find something to be offended about.

There is absolutely NOTHING unprofessional about that message.

Find something more important to get upset about.

From experience, there are certain parents that have clearly never been to a cold, draughty church and think pretty, sparkly, strappy dresses are perfect for mass (especially at Christmas) because they will be indoors.

It's also not just about weather appropriate, it is generally expected, even in summer, for shoulders to be covered at mass and skirts to be a reasonable length, shorts are less of an issue because they don't flash your knickers when you genuflect or ride up when you are kneeling.