To think this isn't appropriate or very professional from school?

[Peppapigshouse]

My child's church primary school has a special mass on an evening after school and they've asked children and parents to attend.

The school has now sent a text saying that children can wear their own clothes, but ha e stated "No tracksuits, short skirts or strappy tops".

It's not the tracksuits bit that bothers me, it's the bit about no short skirts or strappy tops.

Why not just ask for appropriate clothing for winter church? Why the need to specify about short skirts and strappy tops. These are primary school children and it just sounds like they are implying something.

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.

Have you been in school, able to observe all classes, at all non-uniform events over the last 12 months?

The guidance may not be in response to the most recent 'public wearing of non-uniform', but may be responding to a trend they have observed on other in-school non-uniform days or at school discos etc etc this year, and they wanted to make a clear demarcation between those and a religious event in church?

I have never in all the years at the school seen a child wearing a short skirt or strappy top.

And I have. As I'm sure others have.
Do you attend the church the children are going to?

The reason I ask is the church will have mentioned to the school about the dress code. It may well be based on their experience rather than the schools. I regularly see young girls in our church dressed inappropriately.
Also, you say you volunteer at the school, so you see a snapshot of certain students, you don't see what every child wears outside of school.

Is it telling that this has focused on the girls clothing?
It also said no tracksuit in which I'd imagine the shoulders are covered for heaven's sake

I haven't been in every class to inspect every child's clothing.

But I have volunteered for years, I've helped out at loads of non uniform events, school trips, church services, school fates, sporting events, I've worked with different classes and year groups. I haven't witnessed this problem. I haven't heard it mentioned.

I can't help thinking it's coming from an idea and a stereotype of what girls will do, rather than an actual problem.

Seriously, you've never seen a 6 year old in a short skirt going to school. I specify age because I realised at the school gates this morning that my DD has had a growth spurt and her school pinafore is up round her arse. Not purposeful and will be remedied at the weekend (ages also wearing tights so is warm enough) but I wouldn't be happy with her going to church in a skirt that short.

Many people now don't regularly attend church and look on it as just another Christmas thing, Christmas meaning party clothes. I don't know many boys whose party clothes encompass shorts and vest tops but I know lots of girls who wear stewpot dresses or short skirts, it's perfectly reasonable to remind parents that it's not a party and to have shoulders and legs covered.

If they'd said no shorts (in December) they'd have been laughed at and possibly undermined the rest of the message. You're looking for offence I think, surely you've more to worry about!

I would agree with sayyouwill that it is entirely possible that the OP has seen the text, assumed it originates from the head, who she already believes to be sexist, and reads it as sexist.

It is equally likely to have come from a secretary or receptionist or admin, passing on a message from the church, who have contacted the school to say 'could you remind the children no tracksuits, strappy tops of short skirts?' - a message they may well be repeating to any school attending the church, based on their experience of weekly congregations.

Totally agree with @jellycatspyjamas

No sorry I realise that the head might not have sent the text, however my dc told me that the head had told them all in assembly not to wear any silly dresses.

I can see I'm massively in the minority and that's fine.

I simply don't like the implication that girls and their parents can't be trusted to get dressed They can't be trusted though. I've seen girls in February on a WW1 history trip (when you need thermals, sleeves, gloves and wellies as it's fucking freezing in Belgium then and it snows) wandering around the trenches in stupid little strappy crop tops, and they then complain they are cold. Tough shit. Had they taken the kit they were told both verbally and in writing to take, they wouldn't have been cold and wet.

One loses both patience and sympathy sometimes.

British people are also very bad at dressing for the weather as a rule.

Of course they shouldn't wear silly dresses in church. Have you seen the current obsession with unicorns springing up all over clothing atm?
You can literally buy dresses with horns and wings.
And let's face it, that's just disrespectful. God doesn't need reminding that he forgot to tell Noah to grab the unicorns too.

This is the same as going to a restaurant that says 'no jeans' or a golf club that says 't-shirts with collars to be worn at all times and no flip flops'. The church is an organisation that has it's own rules, their rules are that they want their congregation to cover up. If you don't want to do that then don't go. Frankly most churches are freezing cold so I don't know why you would go in strappy top in the winter, seems silly to me.

As regards it being sexist, of course it is, it's religion, which is pretty much always sexist.

we have had non uniform days when children ( and yes, it is the girls) turn up in crop tops, boob tubes and bodice tops.

U:o at sayyouwill

Right, I will say once more, this is nothing to do with me wanting to wear skirts and vests to church.

I have no desire to wear a short skirt or a strappy top anywhere, let alone to church.

I don't like the school basically making out that that's what the girls will all be wearing, and that girls need to be told what to wear.

As far as I am concerned from what I've seen the girls at our school can be trusted to dress just fine.

And by that I mean wearing leggings/trousers/jumpers or a dress with tights.

I think it's snobbery rather than sexism tbh
The death of Sunday best

I don't think they have focused on the girls' clothing. I think the 'tracksuits' comment is aimed at the boys and the skirts/tops comment at the girls. And it reads as though they're basing it on what they've experienced previously when they tell children it's non-uniform.

Does a restaurant that says 'no jeans' assume that all men will be wearing jeans and thus all men need to be told what to wear?

No, they are specifying a dress code - the vast majority of their clientele will already adhere to it, but a clear statement of it minimises confusion for all.

Stop whining. This is such a non issue

I envy you that you have so little to worry about that you attach so much significance to something so unimportant.

We run bushcraft activities for children during school holidays. I've had (some) girls turn up in mid winter dressed for the school disco despite the fact that they're spending the morning in a freezing woodland making dens and learning to light fires. Parents of boys do seem more able/willing to dress them appropriately for the cold.

AlexanderHamilton

They've probably said appropriate clothes in the past & had children turn up dressed inappropriately so have had to be more specific.

This^

Right, so who decides what's appropriate? So the school have specified no short skirts and strappy tops, is it then ok for the boys to turn up in short and tshirts? A t shirt isn't the equivalent of a strappy top though is it? I imagine the problem in the past has been 11 year old girls in strappy tops and short skirts, having helped at some after school activities I have seen some girls of this age dressed inappropriately. The boys might be wearing expensive trainers and tracksuits but I've never seen the boys turn up in something revealing and their shorts are often longer than the girls skirts.

High heeled sandals were another thing that shocked me. Why would a 10 or 11 year old girl need high heels and make up to go with the short skirt and strappy top.

Plus it not have stated shorts because they simply haven’t had any boys turn up in shorts whereas they might have had a problem with short skirts previously?
Maybe I’m also old fashioned but I really do remember rolling my skirt up until you could pretty much see my pants. Just no one wants to see primary school pants boys or girls