Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Third degree phoning in sick

274 replies

Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 07:09

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

OP posts:
newmumwithquestions · 29/11/2017 07:12

Yes it sounds ott. I’ve never had a grilling like that, nor given anyone one.

Mammylamb · 29/11/2017 07:14

In a few previous jobs I've been given the 3rd degree like this and I agree, it's really shitty

Original poster
Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 07:14

Also want to add he didn't wish me to feel better soon or anything like that. I hate phoning in sick and now this has just made me feel worse.

OP posts:
Roarstatic · 29/11/2017 07:15

Ok, so firstly you don’t sound like you have flu!

However, you’re a grown up and if you don’t feel able to work (and a really nasty cold can do that to you!) then ignore them and stay off. I think you can self-certify for up to a week anyway. It’s a horrible feeling being hassled like that, my old employer used to do it too. I would just be very firm. ‘No, I am feeling very unwell and unable to come in, I will be back as soon as I can’ and then leave it at that. They are being arses.

Roarstatic · 29/11/2017 07:17

Never understood employers like this anyway, if anyone comes in to my work sick, we all try to send them home again! A) we can see they are not well and that’s miserable for the person, whom we like B) we definitely don’t all want it!

poolCam · 29/11/2017 07:17

"They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter."

This seems entirely reasonable. Perhaps calling at the end of the day would have been better.

glow1984 · 29/11/2017 07:18

YANBU , I’ve never been grilled about being sick like that before!

I hope you feel better soon Flowers

expatmigrant · 29/11/2017 07:21

Doesn't sound like flu to me either, but you're old enough decide on how rough you're feeling. Sometimes it's best to take one day off and rest, than to soldier through and then needing a week off a few days later.

Picklesandpies · 29/11/2017 07:24

Sounds exactly like flu to me!

I had this when I worked at a vets (notorious for treating nurses like slaves) and I hated it. I'm an adult FGS, if I say I'm not well enough to come in then that's the end of it!

Hope you feel better soon.

southennorthener · 29/11/2017 07:25

When phoning in sick always go for the old d and v. No one ever wants the details of thAt. Envy

SonicBoomBoom · 29/11/2017 07:26

I have had an employer like this. Who would grill people every time. They also made them call in at 8am every day that they were going to be off ill (so if you were off for a week, you got a grilling every day). I thought this was particularly ridiculous as sometimes when you're ill you just need to sleep, not set alarms in order to have a pointless phone call.

You need to just remain resolute - "no, I'm not well enough to come in. I will let you know when I am."

ScreamingValenta · 29/11/2017 07:26

Might the lunchtime update be so that they have time to go out to other staff this afternoon for extra cover if you're not likely to be in tomorrow?

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 29/11/2017 07:28

Doesn't sound like flu to me either to be honest. I do think it's perfectly acceptable to be asked to call later to update on how you are and if you will still be off tomorrow.

shushpenfold · 29/11/2017 07:33

Hi OP, firstly I hope you feel better soon.

Secondly, I wonder if you’ve inadvertently awakened the ‘its not flu’ beast in your boss? I’m one of these too and it’s due to lots of people thinking that a nasty virus, where you feel crappy, achy and generally unwell, is flu. It isn’t it it sounds a lot better than saying you have a bad cold. A virus that makes you feel terrible though still needs recovery time.

I’ve had flu twice in my 47 years and could barely speak, never mind be on mumsnet!!

2 weeks off work/school, raging temp for over a week of that, lost a stone in weight, couldn’t stand up without almost passing out and felt like utter, utter crap. Slept all the time just to try and get away from the symptoms (and recover)

We all get viruses, but they last for a few days and when people say they have flu it gives me the rage!

Katinkka · 29/11/2017 07:33

If you had flu you wouldn’t be posting about this. You’d be straight back to bed.

WhiskyIrnBru · 29/11/2017 07:34

Isn't the internet wonderful. People on the internet can diagnose what isnt the flu. OP, that's a total nightmare
Only you know how you feel. I'd rather my colleague called in sick rather than spreading the flu virus about.

Jasminedes · 29/11/2017 07:36

Flu varies.

rightsaidfrederickII · 29/11/2017 07:37

And to think that the other day I was reassuring a junior colleague who clearly had some sort of bug that if she was ill she was ill and taking a day off sick wasn't a sign of weakness!

MrsWickens · 29/11/2017 07:37

I hate this! Years ago my son was rushed to hospital by ambulance due to breathing difficulties early morning. When I rang work to tell them I wouldn't be in the first thing they said to me was when are you going to make up the hours. No, how is he? or how are you? or is there anything we can do?

It made me realise that work don't care about you they care they have the staff to cover the work. So play their game, ring in at lunchtime and stay off until you are well enough to work. Don't rush back or you will relapse and have to go off again and that will be two shorter separate sicknesses rather than one longer one!

Splinterz · 29/11/2017 07:38

Influenza is a totally debilitating condition, not to be confused with a heavy cold and a touch of the sniffles sometimes called 'that 24 hour flu thing'.

Sayyouwill · 29/11/2017 07:39

If you work with food, you can simply say your had D&/orV and they can't pressure you to work as part of your contract will probably state you can't come in for 48 hours.

I must admit, I've been that employer. I had staff call in sick on very busy shifts and it's awful. You have to try and find cover, but if where you work is busy then the other staff are probably working more and harder anyways so cover is hard to find. However they could have at least bloody wished you felt better and offered some sympathy.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 29/11/2017 07:42

Ok, so firstly you don’t sound like you have flu!

Doesn't sound like flu to me either

Doesn't sound like flu to me either to be honest.

We all get viruses, but they last for a few days and when people say they have flu it gives me the rage!

If you had flu you wouldn’t be posting about this. You’d be straight back to bed.

Influenza is a totally debilitating condition, not to be confused with a heavy cold and a touch of the sniffles sometimes called 'that 24 hour flu thing'.

Why are you all parroting this myth you heard on the internet? Severity of symptoms is irrelevant. About 30% of people with flu have NO symptoms at all (they're the ones who spread it around). Very few people with it will be so ill that they can't get out of bed.

Please don't go around diagnosing people based on some silly thing you heard. Look into the actual research.

dinosaurkisses · 29/11/2017 07:43

It doesn't matter if it isn't flu- if someone feels unwell enough that they can't work, they have the right to self certify for up to five days.

The whole "It isn't 'flu!" Brigade are the reason that some people come into work when they really shouldn't. My desk mate did this last Christmas and gave me her virus which ruined my New Year and meant I had to take three days off work (unpaid as I was still in my probationary period).

It also has an impact on people who suffer from mental health issues- made to feel because they don't have the Black Lung or a leg hanging off they are somehow less unwell and automatically fit for work when they might actually really need a short break from work.

RebootYourEngine · 29/11/2017 07:45

I have had both good and bad employers. Think it is just luck of the draw.

I recently phoned in sick and my boss couldnt be any nicer. Wishing me well. Telling me to rest. This is a job that is short staffed and busy.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 29/11/2017 07:46

If you're sick, you should stay off and get well and not spread it to others. Hate this ridiculous pressure on people to come in when they're not up to it. Stay home and get well soon, OP.