Third degree phoning in sick

[Pinkpowerofthought]

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

There’s a huge logical fail that happens on MN. “I had flu once and it was absolutely dreadful” THEREFORE “if you are not as bad as that then it is not flu”. People saying that it is sometimes possible to stagger to the shops/do the school run etc with milder flu aren’t denying that it’s sometimes a very serious illness indeed, they’re just acknowledging that it’s a whole family of related viruses that can affect different people in different ways.

I sometimes feel like going into a chickenpox thread saying “I had chickenpox and I had to go into intensive care and I almost died! It’s a really serious disease don’t you know and it’s therefore nonsense to suggest that your slightly grumpy spotty toddler has chicken pox”. Everyone would immediately spot that as nonsense despite the fact that chicken pox, unlike flu, is more or less a single virus.

Some bizarre posts on this thread. Flu isn't necessarily always severe.

" The flu is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses that infect the nose, throat, and sometimes the lungs. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. " CDC

My daughter had flu three weeks ago and was hospitalised.

I had it soon after (caught from her) and managed to struggle on, albeit feeling like shit.

It varies. The 'it's not flu if you're breathing' brigade fuck me right off.

How ridiculous OP, totally out of order to interrogate you like that. Hope you feel better soon. Perhaps look for a new opportunity in the new year, imagine what they would be like if you had a major problem?

I agree. If you, as and adult, have decided you're not well enough to go to work, that should be the end of the discussion. I don't understand managers like this and it gives me the rage. Being mean to someone isn't going to make them feel better more quickly!

Three quarters of people with flu have no symptoms.

This is from the NHS.

There’s a huge logical fail that happens on MN. “I had flu once and it was absolutely dreadful” THEREFORE “if you are not as bad as that then it is not flu

I have to put my hand up and say I was guilty of thinking like that for a long time following an absolutely debilitating flu when I was 17. Then last year I got a slightly less grim version of the flu and still managed to function a bit.
I remember a thread on here once where two people got into a fight about this - one was in the "you can't just battle through a serious illness" camp and the other was in the "sometimes you just have to get on with it" camp. The last bit I remember was an argument about how you could make dinner by crawling to the fridge and pulling yourself up on it and it was like guys. You are probably talking about different strains of the flu.

On one occasion with a previous boss my dh rang the office to say that my diabetes was flaring up, my blood sugar was high and I was being sick and he was taking me to a and e. Got back after being in hospital for 3 days to find an answer machine message from boss complaining that the policy was the employee had to inform boss personally so I should have called him myself and not got dh to leave a message with someone. Given that dh had tried to find my boss who hadn't got to work yet and boss had called back an hour after dhs call by which point I was semi conscious in hospital with drips in my arms I am still not sure how he thought this would be possible!

Someone told me that if you looked out yhe window and saw a £20 note lying on the grass and were able to get out of bed to fetch it, then it wasnt flu.

The ‘it doesn’t sound like flu’ derail has amused me. Christ on a bike it doesn’t need to be flu to be bad enough to be off work. OP your employer is being a dick. Get well soon.

Do not go back to work later!

Flu symptoms vary at the start which makes people think they are okay and can struggle on - their immune system is coping with the onslaught of the virus. However those who do this are at high risk of a relapse which is potentially dangerous and takes longer to recover from.

Also you do not need to have a temperature to be suffering from the flu.

Take it easy OP. I'd stay off for the rest of the week and then the weekend. It's not beyond the wit of your employer to get off from behind the desk and lend a hand themselves.

You don't have to have flu to be unwell enough for work! I've had horrendous colds that completely knocked me for six - blocked ears/nose, raging sore throat, cough, headache and feeling absolutely exhausted. Yes, it was "just a cold" but I would have been completely useless at work.

I hate the "I had flu once and if your experience isn't as horrific as mine you're lying and don't have flu" brigade. Adults should be capable of deciding they're too sick for work - flu or otherwise!

I didn't think employers were allowed to ask for details. I'm a manager and HR told me I'm not allowed to ask for details unless the employee offers me the information. If someone doesn't want to disclose the nature of their illness, I'm not allowed to give them the 3rd degree about it. If their sickness record lies outside what is acceptable in terms of the company sickness policy, then HR become involved and occupational health.

YANBU OP. Keep them informed about how you are, but it's up to them to manage the operational side of your absence and ensure cover is in place.

Oh and I hope you get better soon OP. Whether it's flu or not is irrelevant. You are too ill to work today.

When I worked in a call centre where the absence rate was high, the managers started asking people to call back at lunchtime with an update.

This cut absenteeism by something like...if I remember rightly, 70-something%, because people basically couldn't keep up the lie more than once.

Shitty to do when someone really is genuinely ill, but it definitely did weed out the skivers.

I remember walking three miles home from school with flu once. You lot would have told me it couldn't possibly be the flu as I wouldn't have been able to walk home. But I did because I blinking well had to. And it was definitely flu, one of about three occasions in my life when I had it. Was off for about a week and a half afterwards and was able to stay in bed/in a chair in front of the fire to recover. Which is what you should do OP imho.

Flu varies, people are different. Some have the luxury to stay in bed for a couple of weeks, others don't have the choice. The competitive "I am the only one to ever had the flu ever because I was sicker than you" is ridiculous.

I’m recovering from a bout of flu. It has been miserable but in many aspects of life I had to carry on. My children still needed to be fed and dressed.

My employer, however, insisted that I rested at home. I’m starting back today on slightly shorter hours than usual.

My employer is lovely.

@Pinkpowerofthought Knowing what job you do now, no YANBU to take time off and they are BU to ask you to ring in at lunchtime!

Lol at the is it flu debate. It's a bit like when people say they have a migraine. You always get some posters insisting that you can't possible have a migraine unless you are nearly dead. I have had migraines where I flinched if I moved a muscle and I've had migraines where I'm, sort of, ok.

German has the pretty much official (i.e. medics recognise it and use it) concept of a 'flu-type infection' when something isn't (or isn't evidently) 'proper' flu but is not 'just a cold'. (And there's a lot less nonsense from employers about people being off sick here - and higher productivity IIRC).

I went back to work once I'd recovered from swine flu in 2009 (I got it pretty nastily, it definitely fitted some people's flu criteria!) and almost got sent home again because people in the office didn't think I should be in. (And were possibly scared of getting it, although I suspect I got it from an intern...).

Flu does vary - there are many different strains each year, and A and B subtypes as well. It’s possible to be mildly ill with flu just as it is possible to be absolutely at deaths door with it.

If you’re a postwoman you should not be going in today, or indeed until you’re feeling in the mend - physical exertion when you’re down with a virus is unwise and can be dangerous. The reason you feel so sick when you’re ill is to MAKE you rest - that’s what sickness behaviour is.

You need to rest, and if that takes a couple of days so be it. I would t be struggling in tomorrow because that will only fuel the ‘you weren’t really ill’ mentality. Take the time you need and stick to your guns, stop justifying yourself. “I am too unwell to work” can be parroted until they listen

I'm currently on my third day off sick with a cold. Not flu, a cold.
But it has been bad enough for me to know I can't go to work. I've lost my voice, got a hacking cough, high temperature, dizzy when I stand up, have had to sleep about 16-18 hours a day since Sunday.

If you're ill, you're ill. Flu or not.

When I worked in the hospital and helped care for people with the flu some of them did use their phones from their beds. I guess the doctors got the wrong diagnosis!

People need to get stop regurgitating stupid crap they have read about the flu.

I hope you feel better soon OP