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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Third degree phoning in sick

274 replies

Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 07:09

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

OP posts:
CatastropheKate · 29/11/2017 07:49

I think we have to agree that the world is split on the flu thing. Either you've had it and you realise why so many people die from it, and at the time you feel jealous that they had a way out (if, of course, you can muster the energy to be jealous), or you've seen the flu & cold remedies advertised on the tv and think flu is a horrible cold.

That aside, a horrible cold leaves you too ill to work, there is a need to take the day off to recover, sleep and fight it. Work are being unreasonable in suggesting you see a doctor about it, but are not being unreasonable for suggesting it's a head cold. It probably is. To be honest if you have full-blown flu you wouldn't be worried about what work thinks anyway.

GreenPurpleRed · 29/11/2017 07:49

Daily is right. It is possible to have flu and God forbid, be on MN.

kmc1111 · 29/11/2017 07:50

Flu varies wildly in severity. The people who act like it can't be flu if you aren't practically at deaths door are just as annoying as the people who think it's flu if they have the beginnings of a blocked nose.

TammySwansonTwo · 29/11/2017 07:50

Who gives a shit whether its flu or not? This woman is very unwell and - even more importantly - contagious with something that would make her colleagues very unwell. Her boss is ridiculous. If I worked there I wouldn't be happy that my boss was encouraging staff members to come in with a nasty bug for me to take home to my kids, one of whom would be seriously ill if he caught it.

PaintingByNumbers · 29/11/2017 07:50

I'm glad someone else got in first to put straight the idiots spreading the 'it cant be flu you would be on your knees I had it once' posters

Thats not what science says

Science says most people test positive for flu every few years, and some are the worst, the symptomless spreaders.

KathArtic · 29/11/2017 07:52

Dose yourself with paracetamol and rest, then see how you feel at lunch time. You may feel better and be able to give some indication of when you will return to work.

Sadly a lot of employers are like this now, probably due to the many shirkers who take days off for everything, which in turn then makes it difficult for those who are actually ill.

hope you feel better soon.

Lily2007 · 29/11/2017 07:53

Sorry they weren't more understanding. It sounds like flu to me and a nice employer would have said something caring. I'm lucky mine is lovely.

I would just look after yourself, go back when you are better and rest until then. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Allthetuppences · 29/11/2017 07:55

People like that are simply exhibiting THEIR lack of trustworthiness. They lie about being ill so they assume everyone else does.

BertieBotts · 29/11/2017 07:55

I'm pretty sure it's illegal for them to ask about your symptoms, it's personal I formation.

plumandvanilla · 29/11/2017 07:58

I was hospitalised in 2009 with flu and was managing to be on the Internet. Not for huge long stints but it was possible.

haveacupoftea · 29/11/2017 08:02

At least if you have to call in at lunch you don't have to ring in sick again tomorrow morning.

On the 'if you had flu you wouldn't be posting on MN.' I had very severe abdominal pain one night and spent the night on the sofa googling symptoms in between waves of pain. My symptoms seemed to fit an ovarian cyst only I read on a forum 'if you had an ovarian cyst you wouldn't be on this forum!' So I thought ok well it's not that bad then. Turns out I had a 15cm cyst, the pain was the cyst twisting my ovary and killing it.

So can people STOP saying that because it's very dangerous! Even people who are very unwell are fit to lift their hand with a phone in it!

Devilishpyjamas · 29/11/2017 08:05

Yup what others said - it IS possible to be not at death’s door and still have flu. Some people get a mild dose or no symptoms. I’ve never had anything I recognise as flu in nearly half a century - so I assume I am not particularly susceptible and have mild cases.

OP - they sound awful. Some employers are like that. You don’t sound as if you takes the piss so just stand your ground.

Original poster
Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 08:06

Yes I can pick the phone up. I can type and read. I picked the phone up to phone in sick but somehow that doesn't come under using the phone and mumsnetting.
I feel dizzy and sick when I stand so I don't think it's just a head cold.
My job is really physical (postwoman) so no chance I would make it round today. I felt like I was going to pass out yesterday but it got worse when I got home.
I just feel sad that in this day and age you have to explain yourself to that level, your work ethic is being questioned and you are made to feel like a lazy sod pulling a sickie. Which then makes you worry about your job security.

OP posts:
teraculum29 · 29/11/2017 08:08

It doesn't' matter if its flu, or flu like or a bad cold or just a cold. You are bad enough and you shouldn't go to work and spread your germs to everyone around you not only at work but on your commute as well.

mummarosie1 · 29/11/2017 08:11

You have a right to phone in sick, you don't even need to justify it to them!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 29/11/2017 08:14

About 30% of people with flu have NO symptoms at all (they're the ones who spread it around).

Can you share the research on this, please?

geekone · 29/11/2017 08:16

Of course you might have flu www.nhs.uk/conditions/flu/symptoms/ I was always of the if you can get up it's a cold but just having suffered a flu where I had to push on through and felt awful I wish I had stayed in bed. Feel better soon.

GertrudeCB · 29/11/2017 08:17

They sound awful. I've had bosses like that - I had one that asked me to come in straight from A&E after a leg injury when I'd been told to keep the limb raised and was on enough pain medication to drop a rhino.
Just play the game as a pp says, they may need you to call in so they can organise cover for tomorrow/ rest of the week.
Hope you feel better soon, I had flu 19 years ago and I still remember how utterly shit I felt.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 29/11/2017 08:18

You do need to justify sick days mummarosie1 , by saying why you are off sick. But it sounds like OP has a perfectly justifiable reason why.

baritonehome · 29/11/2017 08:19

doesn't sound like flu to me either but this is not the point. If you feel too poorly to go in then stay at home. Gosh, this threads reads as if the majority of posters oy ever stayed off work with 'real' flu Hmm

Tbh, I wouldn't want you in my office spreading your germs. Just ring in at noon and tell them you will see how you feel tomorrow morning. Agree it's appealing treatment esp for someone with a very low sickness record.

BillywilliamV · 29/11/2017 08:24

Cut the poor guy some slack, hes trying to run a workplace at his busiest time, we have no idea how many other people have called in sick, he didnt threaten to sack you or dock your pay. Put your computer/ phone down, get some rest and see if you can make it in tomorrow.

flumpybear · 29/11/2017 08:27

Stupid! I work with doctors who don’t even ask, just say get whatever rest you need and come back when you’re fit and well don’t bloody infect me lol!

Perhaps you should ring at lunchtime and say I’ve been sick, had diarrhoea, got a really short throat and temperature, I’ll likely last about as much time as it’ll take to infect the rest of the workforce before I go home again

SchadenfreudePersonified · 29/11/2017 08:29

Never understood employers like this anyway, if anyone comes in to my work sick, we all try to send them home again! . . . we definitely don’t all want it!

This - as Roartastic says - the last thing any business needs is the entire workforce off ill.

spreadinggirth · 29/11/2017 08:29

Does it matter if it's flu or a virus if you're not well enough to work then you shouldn't be there.
I do think it's valid to ask if you might be well enough to go in tomorrow though.

LadyGlitterSparkl · 29/11/2017 08:34

I had a sickness bug once and called in sick and was essentially bullied over the phone by my regional manage (that's who I had to call) so I ended up going to work where my boss wasn't expecting me, but never sent me home. I was weak and shaky and on my lunch break thought I was going to faint until I quickly bought a mars bar (sugar). At the time I worked at a nail bar in a very large department store and I still think about all the people that I came into contact with that day. I caught it from my gran and was only in her company for a few minutes

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