Third degree phoning in sick

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I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

You wouldn't have the energy to be typing on a forum if you had the flu. You wouldn't be able to lift your head off the pillow. Influenza is very serious.

When I was 17 and in my first job, I got a dreadful bout of flu. It really put me on my arse for a few weeks, I could barely move and lost over a stone in weight.
My boss turned up at my house to check on me. I was living at home with mum and dad at the time and my dad answered the door. She was insisting she "see" me and asking how I was and when I was coming back. My dad was furious and ended up shutting the door in her face.
The worst part? She ended up as my MIL

I could barely move and lost over a stone in weight

Now that is flu OP. You don't have flu for just a few days either.

It's the time of year when MN really need to sticky the NHS page on flu to the top of every thread to stop the 'it can't be flu unless you are actually dead' brigade.

You know two things a doctor WON'T use as a diagnostic test for flu? A fucking £20 note in the garden or the ability to use Mumsnet. Because, newsflash, neither of those things have the slightest bearing on whether or not you have the flu!

Hope you feel better soon, OP. You can self certify for a week. Don't feel guilty.

Doesn’t really matter if it’s the flu or not, the point is OP feels really rough and can’t work, her boss should be understanding, tell her to get well soon but return as soon as she feels well enough to do so. If it’s just a bad cold it can still make you feel awful, there’s also the risk of her passing it on to everyone else and then lots of people calling in sick in a few days time.

OP get some rest, you might feel a bit better in a day or two.

I'm not surprised it made you feel patronised and disbelieved (along, I imagine, with the it's-not-flu posters) - and you've not had a single day off in the last year! It sounds like you need to be at home, and you might well need to be tomorrow, so please don't force yourself back before you're ready.
There's a lot of it about - get well soon

If you had flu you wouldn’t be posting about this. You’d be straight back to bed.

This exactly.

However, your boss did seem to be grilling you unnecessarily. This is the sort of conversation your might have at your return to work interview not when you phone in.

Whatatime and Gromance please read the thread and links provided. You are wrong about what constitutes flu. People can, have and do post on the internet whilst they have flu - confirmed, swabbed, diagnosed by professionals flu. Even people in the hospital with flu!

Calling in sick when you’re an nhs worker is even worse. They mither the life out of you every day asking “when will you be in?” They Care not a jot.

OP, Yanbu. Ignore them. Take the phone off the hook TIL you’re feeling well.

Your bosses are being unreasonable. Hope you feel better soon. Check your contract/ handbook for sick procedure that you're doing it right, to cover yourself.

Don't phone them at lunchtime. Phone them in the morning.

At least they didn't ask you to sort cover for yourself, which seems to be a new thing.

My last employer was like this.
When I left, I told them exactly what it felt like calling in sick- spent years and years calling at various points- sometimes with mh issues, d&v, colds and viruses so bad that it was physically impossible to work etc. At one point, I went in with a broken arm to prove it because they didn't believe me. Another, I went in on crutches in excruciating pain to be told yup, you can't work, but if you go home it has to be your decision we won't send you- but if you do stay, you cannot use the crutches because its health and safety issue... wtaf.
Told them that waking up sick knowing you couldn't work and having to make three calls in the one day to work to first leave a message, then speak to a manager, then in afternoon let them know if you were well enough to return the following day, filled you with so much anxiety, you wouldn't stay off if you didn't actually need to- so therefore didn't need the grilling or guilt trips from management to go in and spread your sickness about.
Bloody awful places that operate like this.

Sorry for the rant. Op, I hope you're feeling better soon

I hope you recover quickly OP.

Some companies are fucking awful when it comes to their staff’s health.

I had something similar many years ago. I wasn’t actually off sick, and it was just a cold, but I was instructed to go the GP and get antibiotics.

This was from a manager who would have put me on notice if I was sick without a certificate from a Doctor. So I went, told GP what the situation was and GP confirmed that antibiotics don’t work for viruses.

Manager was not happy when I told him.

They're being U. Can you complain to HR/talk to a union?

I wouldn't bother phoning at lunchtime to see if you're well enough to go in tomorrow ; I doubt you will be from what you've said.

Well if you do have flu you certainly won't be back at work tomorrow or any day this week.

Poor you OP. I hope you feel better soon. Whatever you have sounds hideous and you are wise to stay at home rather than go into work and spread it around. Perhaps your manager should consider how your presence at work could totally decimate the workforce? Just when he/she needs them at work the most.

It reminds me of a manager I once had who refused to let me take time off for a doctors appointment even though I was in a lot of pain. It was Christmas and retail and no evening docs appointments. On account of her rather creative staff rota writing, by the time my day off rolled around I was peeing a bit of blood. Kidney infection. Then she told me that I’d feel fine as soon as the antibiotics kicked in so she’d “see you bright and early tomorrow!”

Another time I called in with a migraine (I always vomit when I have a migraine) and she burst into tears on the phone.

I should add I worked for her for 3 years and those were my only days off sick.

YANBU.

Well done for managing to start what I think might be the first of the annual MN ‘it’s not flu if you are not dying’ thread though

Hope you are feeling better soon.

YANBU and I wish you better.

FWIW, I was messing about on my phone in intensive care a few days after coming off life support. I was definitely ill.

OP, hope you feel better soon. Even if it isn't flu, you feel sick so need to let your tummy settle. Don't phone them at lunchtime, you've phoned in sick and they don't need to hear from you again today. You can review things in the morning as to whether your up to light duties.

I thought I had gastric flu last year, I ached all over and felt so stiff and tender, utterly drained etc. I spent days mainly in bed only leaving the house to do the essential 10 minute school run twice a day, trying to avoid other people and trying to avoid spreading it to my family.

I ended up sending a sample to the GP after the digestive symptoms didn't shift... I was wrong about gastric flu... it was campylobacter. Just as well I wasn't spreading that around the general population anyway

Sorry you're feeling rubbish OP and for the unsympathetic attitude from work. Take the rest you need to get back on form.

I do wonder if Britain's poor productivity rate is partly connected with our crap attitude to long hours and presenteeism.
My dad worked himself to death prematurely. His workplace replaced him with 3 people as they belatedly realised the role was unsuitable for one person. I didn't get a replacement dad.

“The whole "It isn't 'flu!" Brigade are the reason that some people come into work when they really shouldn't.”

I disagree.

Everyone here is making it very clear that the OP should be at home.

It’s just that she should say she is unwell, has a cold, etc. Just not throw “flu” around. I take the point that flu varies, but I do think that flu gets so overused that people now have a reaction to hearing it

YANBU though OP. It’s really irritating when you are never off and then the one time you are, you get treated like you’re skiving.

My boss turned up at my house to check on me. I was living at home with mum and dad at the time and my dad answered the door. She was insisting she "see" me and asking how I was and when I was coming back. My dad was furious and ended up shutting the door in her face.
The worst part? She ended up as my MIL

This might be the most horrifying thing I've ever read on Mumsnet!

Poor you OP, sorry you're feeling ill. Ignore the sanctimonious 'it's not flu' posters. Who cares? You don't feel well enough to go to work - end of. I hate it when people come into my work ill. I have a family and a child with special needs for whom illnesses are a big complication and I don't need their vile disgusting germs! Luckily our bosses are understanding about illness.

Bold fail.

I have read the nhs site and tick all the symptoms for flu. Says nothing about not been able to talk or lift up a phone. It also says there are milder cases of flu.
I always consider a cold to be a slight fever, sore sinuses with runny or blocked nose and sore throat. I always consider flu to be that with added abdominal pain and feeling worse than the average cold. I consider a head cold just to be watery eyes with a stuffed nose and a headache. To be honest I've had two common colds over the past two months. I think work is the problem because I just muddle through it. Now it's came to this. I can bet my bottom dollar that I will get shingles. I get shingles after back to back illnesses and stress.
I felt like going to the doctors to get a written diagnosis for my boss but it's daft going to the gp with cold or flu symptoms as it's common sense that bed rest and water are the only cures. Plus going into a gp surgery with something contagious is not a good idea.
If I were out delivering mail with this, i would be getting my germs on everyone's mail too.

I think they were OTT but I have to say it is frustrating if someone doesn't come into work and says they have flu and then they are in the next day or day after looking as fit as a fiddle and you think "that can't have been flu." I've worked with people who seemed to have flu twice a year every year.

I think a lot of the "is it really flu?" arguments arise because people can be too embarrassed to be thought wimpy if they say they are not coming to work because they have a really bad cold and feel like shit, so they cop out and say flu.

Flu can be really mild or can be life-threatening, but the waters get muddied by claims that a really nasty cold or other virus is flu.