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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Third degree phoning in sick

274 replies

Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 07:09

I've been at my work for a year now. No sick days previously.
I phoned in this morning with flu and said I won't be in because I have flu.
My work is super busy this time of year so is a pita for them but I phoned at 6.30am.

They asked about my flu symptoms and said maybe it's just a head cold. Um no if it was a head cold I could just muddle on. I've got sore throat, headache, swollen eyes and achey muscles. I also feel really sick and have pains in my stomach.
They suggested I call them at lunch time to see if I can come in tomorrow and they can find something for me to do even if it means something lighter.
Aibu to think they were totally unsupportive, pressuring me to come in before I'm better and making me feel like I was exaggerating my symptoms?
They asked if I was going to see a doctor. I told them bed rest and fluids would be all he would tell me to do.
Aibu to think this was ridiculous?

OP posts:
flutterby77 · 29/11/2017 11:03

I had flu when I was 34 weeks pregnant with twins. It was diagnosed via a nose swab as influenza A. I had been working up to one week prior, shopping and looking after my toddler daughter. Albeit bloody exhausted with a hacking cough and aching limbs and an ear infection. I thought I had a heavy cold exacerbated by the pregnancy. Flu is not always totally debilitating but does need rest and not being in contact with others to pass it on.

aintnothinbutagstring · 29/11/2017 11:05

All of these people saying its not flu, how do you know? Are you medically trained? And what gives you the authority or special knowledge to tell people they don't have the flu?

mirime · 29/11/2017 11:06

When I was a teenager my whole family had flu. Definitely flu, no way it was just a bad cold, we were all ill for a couple of weeks at least. I'm still resentful of the fact that my DD got to lie down while DM cooked a chicken stew for us all, my DSis did the washing up and I had to hoover the living room. It was awful, I felt like I couldn't breathe properly and that I might pass out. I've had flu a couple of times since, including Swine Flu, never felt as ill as that first time. Swine Flu I felt okish as long as I didn't move.

LarkDescending · 29/11/2017 11:06

Sorry to hear this OP - the grilling sounds wholly OTT.

I am SO sick and tired of the crap people post on here about flu. Especially the "banknote in the garden" crap.

In March this year I was diagnosed in hospital with influenza A/H3N2 as an incidental finding from a swab taken on my admission with acute complicated diverticulitis. The flu bit meant that I had to be placed in a side room rather than in a bay, but it was not my main problem at all.

Despite feeling really unwell on the day of my admission, I had got myself up and dressed, commuted into London, done most of a day's work and then when the pain got really bad I left work, got cash from a cashpoint and hailed a taxi to take me to A&E.

I was perfectly capable of writing and responding to emails from my sickbed, could have posted on MN had I been so inclined, and had there been any banknotes lying around I would have picked them up! Fortunately, being self-employed, I didn't get a grilling about whether I was really ill enough to be off work for the week I spent in hospital.

Anyway, back to OP - hope you feel much better soon.

MartysHere · 29/11/2017 11:15

I'm currently off work sick as are three colleagues because one junior colleague didn't think she should take a sick day. She came in and spread it to us instead.

My dd has asthma and my mum who is dependent on me has a compromised immune system. Neither cope with infections have both have now caught it from me. I'm very concerned dd might have to go to hospital.

My ds has now got symptoms and he's due on a long awaited, very expensive school trip to Poland. He's now terrified he won't be ok to go on the plane or be too ill to go at all.

I actually hate my colleague right now.

runwalkrun · 29/11/2017 11:18

I hope you feel better soon OP!
Take care! Flowers

Sallystyle · 29/11/2017 11:26

If you had flu you wouldn’t be posting about this. You’d be straight back to bed.

Are you a medical professional? Have you checked over the OP? Thought not.

Like I said earlier, i'm sure the people in hospital who had flu who used their phones in bed occasionally didn't really have the flu? Silly doctors and nurses, they didn't know what they were talking about obviously.

user1467718508 · 29/11/2017 11:45

This makes me so angry.

When will thick-as-shit employers realise, that by showing employees respect and compassion, their workforce will have a higher level of job satisfaction, and in turn a greater respect for the company...be more likely to stay in post...perform better, etc.

Management surely know the legal standpoint of sick leave, so why be so unnecessarily obtuse about it?!

Micromanaging and hard-lining to this degree is so short-sighted; I can only pin it on dick-swinging egotist bosses.

shushpenfold · 29/11/2017 11:53

I don’t think that anyone was saying the OP should be in work, or that she was being unreasonable (flu comparisons or otherwise)

I do think it’s interesting though that the flu seems to get lots of people’s goat though!

I stand corrected on the ‘mild flu’ info; I didn’t know and it’s interesting to know that the symptoms can vary so much.....perhaps I’ve had it a good few times but thought it was yet another crappy cold virus. Thanks for the info x

Original poster
Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 13:24

Well I'm livid now. Phoned them and said I'm still unwell but I don't want to take time off work so will try to come in on light work tomorrow. They said I will still have to go out and do normal stuff but take it a bit easier.
There was a letter posted in my door from member of staff as well.
I have had no days off sick and been treated like I have went off for months.

OP posts:
RhiannonOHara · 29/11/2017 13:30

Sorry OP but I don't think you should have done that. You've played into their hands. And why do it if you had a pretty good idea of what they'd say?

Do you have an HR? Or a union? Please try to get some advice.

GreenPurpleRed · 29/11/2017 13:34

Just call in sick tomorrow. And don't call them again at lunch time!

whyohwhycantI · 29/11/2017 13:45

you should have never committed to going on tomorrow if you don't feel well enough. you could have said you will let them know in the morning depending how you feel.

If you are not better tomorrow, just call in again. Or see a GP and see if they can sign you off if you get so much pressure from work.

Original poster
Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 13:50

I suggested coming in tomorrow because he said this morning he could find me indoor work to do. If I am better tomorrow I would give it a go and go home if I was struggling.
Now his plan is to get me back outdoors but I know I won't manage that. I will phone in morning to tell him I'm not up to it. I either get to sit down and do indoor work if I'm better or nothing.
To be honest if it was any other job I would just take the time off I needed but I feel pressured and like I'm on the naughty list or something. There is always the worry that if they are ever making redundancies I will be in the firing line because I god forbid took a day off to get over an illness. No wishes of get better soon over the phone either. My eyes are wide open now to what the company is like.

OP posts:
RhiannonOHara · 29/11/2017 14:00

OP, I've asked a couple of times but –do you have any recourse to e.g. HR or a union?

whyohwhycantI · 29/11/2017 14:07

nobody can just make you redundant because you were off sick. and most people are at some point. I don't know anybody who hasn't had a single day sick leave. don't be a martyr if you are too unwell

Original poster
Pinkpowerofthought · 29/11/2017 14:24

There is a union, however we don't have a rep. I could call them though. I've read the sickness policy and seemingly if you are off four times in a year then it triggers a stage one warning. Even more annoyingly if for example I had two days off sick and the next day was my day off then that counts as sickness too. So even though I had two days off sick, it counts as three. My day off is Friday so looks like I will have to make myself go in tomorrow or I will be one day away from triggering a stage one. This applies with doctor notes too.

OP posts:
JonSnowsHair · 29/11/2017 14:32

By four times a year, that normally means 4 separate instances. By being off for 3 days in a row, that’s only one instance of sick.

If you were to go back to work tomorrow, make yourself even more ill, and be off again next week, that would be 2 separate instances rather than just the 1 if you stayed off until you were fully better.

Danceswithwarthogs · 29/11/2017 14:43

Pickles and pies
My work (vets) just the same!!

Never mind doing out of hours at 7.5 months pregnant lifting 40kg dogs and working 10 hour day without sitting down.... I feel your pain

RhiannonOHara · 29/11/2017 15:05

if for example I had two days off sick and the next day was my day off then that counts as sickness too.

Eh? Is that legal? That's a nonsense.

Slarti · 29/11/2017 15:20

I didn't realise flu could be mild or even symptomless, so I've learned something today. Question is though, how do you know the difference between a bad cold and mild flu? Whenever I've had the really bad, aching joints and muscles, sore skin, feel like crap but I can still get up and move about type illness I've always assumed it must be a very bad cold as it "can't be flu". Could that be flu then?

SimpleCreature · 29/11/2017 15:20

Hi,

I'm a doctor, specialising in infection. To all the armchair medics saying you haven't got flu:

It sounds like flu to me.

YesThisIsMe · 29/11/2017 15:27

Web MD table comparing symptoms. Note the lack of reference to fifty dollar bills on the doorstep, and the frequency with which the conclusion is “could be either really”.

Lily2007 · 29/11/2017 15:40

It's likely to be four periods of sickness not days but you need to be careful as if you go back in too early then are ill again that counts as two periods. So Mon to Thursday off sick counts as one period, Mon off, work Tues, off Wed counts as two periods. Wait until you are better before going back.

They can't make you redundant for a few days off sick.

whyohwhycantI · 29/11/2017 15:43

Question is though, how do you know the difference between a bad cold and mild flu?

why does it really matter? if you feel too I'll to work then that's it. Wether it is the flu virus or just a common cold virus. the result is the same.