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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Yes, it’s another Meghan thread... AIBU to think that it’s really disappointing that she left her dog behind?

274 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 28/11/2017 21:48

I’m not a royalist.. or otherwise! Was mildly interested in the news and always happy for a bank holiday (which we probably aren’t getting anyway )

But I have followed her for a little bit recently on social media and she seemed to really love her dogs which I always find a lovely trait in a person

So one dog is here, and one dog ‘is with friends’ and was apparently refused access to the uk / was too old to transport... surely when a dog is old is when he needs his owner the most? I’ve lived through that devastating time of losing a dog and they really find comfort in being with their owners. (I think)

They are rescues which she seems to advocate and I think this really sends the wrong message that they are a bit disposable. She is marrying into arguably the most powerful family in the world and she can’t get her dog here?!

I’m sure people will disagree. But just reading that and looking at my 10 year old dog sleeping on my feet, I could never leave him behind.

OP posts:

MrLovebucket · 29/11/2017 17:37

The dog isn't old - it's only 4 or 5 according to the timeline of when she got him/how old he was at the time.

It won't be his age that's the issue it will be something else, either medical or behavioural imo.

Lweji · 29/11/2017 17:37

I also very seriously threatened now-exH with divorce if he continued to mistreat the cat (DS's cat, actually). He wasn't a good person, clearly.

But I'd have left the cat if I had to move to marry someone I loved (and didn't abuse animals).

nooka · 29/11/2017 17:42

It would be pretty sad if the dogs didn't get on given that Guy (the beagle) was intended to be a companion to Bogart (the shepherd cross). But I guess that might be one reason why.

We've had our dog from a puppy. If we had to move back to the UK the nine hour flight for our dog (we are on the west coast, it's only 7 hours from the east) would be a big big issue, but he is part of our family and I can't imagine not having him in our home. It is something we have thought about if for whatever reason we had to move. Our dog does have other people he loves, but I don't think that dh would be able to say goodbye so it wouldn't be a consideration except in fairly extreme circumstances.

This is a young dog and it's a permanent move. Meghan isn't poor and could potentially use a private jet (although they are crazy expensive, however I'd not be at all surprised if the royal family didn't have friends with planes that could be borrowed). Anyway she decided not to for whatever reason, I'm sure the dog is fine it just seems a bit strange to me.

Lweji · 29/11/2017 17:46

The main point is that none of us know. Meghan will know.
It's all speculation, so why even judge?

Caroelle · 29/11/2017 17:52

It depends on the dog. A highly strung dog could be made extremely anxious by flying; it’s not just the flight itself but having to comply with the PET scheme. A dog can still be quarantined on arrival if there are any concerns about its health. Dogs cannot be brought in on private planes. I would have thought that her schedule over the past 18 months has meant that they have had to be cared for by other people anyway, and it may be that he has become so attached to those careers that it would be unfair to uproot him.

Aghaidh · 29/11/2017 17:53

There could be 100 different reasons - all perfectly valid - why she had to leave her dog. DSpaniel is an American rescue. Pretty straightforward to bring him with us when we moved, but due to his particular neuroses, not something I would contemplate again. He had two sets of people in the States who we could leave him with overnight if necessary but we’ve really struggled to find anyone here. If the dog has bonded with her friends and she’s likely to be travelling a lot in her new role, then it would make sense to leave him where he’s happiest and not force him to do anything just to make her happy.

nooka · 29/11/2017 17:56

JonSnowsWife the dog isn't old. Not sure why so many people are saying he is elderly. He's a young dog, in fact the one she brought over is probably a couple of years older (but still quite young). Travel sickness/distress is I think a much more likely issue, although as she's had him for four years (from a puppy) and lived in LA while filming in Toronto he's probably flown quite a bit in the past.

ModreB · 29/11/2017 18:01

I can understand why she did it. We had a dog that had epilepsy at a young age, 3yo, and to be subjected to a long plane journey in a small crate would have been exceptionally cruel to him. To the extent he would probably have died. Having had a dog with health problems, the moving them around was so stressful and horrible for them.

Our dog lived happily to 13 yo in the same house he grew up in. Which is bloody good for him (a big breed).

So, OP, torture the dog or the owner? Most of the time, the owner does know what is best for the individual dog.

nooka · 29/11/2017 18:04

Dogs can be brought into the UK on private planes, I've googled several advertising that service. They have to go through the same procedures at the airport as if they arrived on commercial planes, it's just that they would travel in the cabin instead of the hold. But yes if the dog was very nervous about flying that would be an issue, and it's quite possible that each flight has made him more anxious. Our dog has anxiety and it's horrible to see him getting very stressed. I guess I'm just a bit ?? as the reasons given were a bit weak, if the dog hates flying why not just say so? Of course it's absolutely none of my business, I'm only interested as we'd be in the same position if we had to go back home and there has been misreporting about quarantine etc.

Original poster

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 29/11/2017 18:22

Gladallover - not only on mumsnet actually. I’ve seen a couple of articles speculating the reasons why.

OP posts:

Lweji · 29/11/2017 18:24

But newspapers have the excuse that they have to sell papers and fill pages.
Their readers are still unreasonable.

MagicalStory · 30/11/2017 01:52

Look – I have dogs who now live with my retired in-laws. I see them every few months. The older one got sick – he basically needed people around all the time for a few years. My dh and I both work. If I were selfish, I'd have both of them here in my home. But it was best for my dogs to be with my in-laws. They'll stay with us over Christmas.

MagicalStory · 30/11/2017 01:57

What I'm saying is... what we pet owners often think is 'best for the dog' is often 'best for us'. My brother's dog had severe travel sickness. Like the car is a state after just one ride! It took them YEARS to make him more at ease with a 30-minute ride.

AnxiousNewUser · 30/11/2017 03:22

**'A dog is for life' means you are responsible for that dog's wellbeing and happiness for its life. Sometimes a difficult decision comes up and the best thing FOR THE DOG is to responsibly rehome it with a safe, caring and happy owner where you can be certain it will be well looked after and settled. Blind sentimentality does not make you a good pet owner. Being able to make fair, rational and well considered choices does.

Love this comment. A member of my family is very sanctimonious about the fact that she's never re-homed a pet and never would do. When she met her partner, she'd just bought a new kitten. Her partner moved in with his dog, a terrier with an obsession with hunting cats. The cat has survived unsavaged, but it's spent most of it's life hiding upstairs or outdoors in all weathers. It could easily have been re-homed - friends of the family were basically queuing round the block - but apparently proving you're the bestest pet owner ever is more important that the animal's happiness or safety.

berliozwooler · 30/11/2017 03:46

I'm sure they'll fly over with the dog on a private jet soon.

Jeez Louise.

MinervaSaidThat · 30/11/2017 04:46

OP, I don't have a dog, but I notice you haven't responded to posts saying it's cruel to have an elderly dog in quarantine for 6 months, especially after a long haul flight.

I don't think you actually give a crap about this dog.

haveacupoftea · 30/11/2017 05:52

It's not like she put the dog on gumtree. And as for the point about you should be with your dog when it dies. My dear old dog was ill last week and I rushed her to the vet. Left her for an overnight stay and tests and she died without me in the vet surgery. You never know what hand life will deal you.

nooka · 30/11/2017 06:50

I'm not the OP MinervaSaidThat just have the thread showing on threads I'm on, but the dog is young, not elderly, and it would not have to be quarantined. It would have to have a long haul flight (or several shorter flights) and might not be able to cope with them, but otherwise it's mostly a matter of paperwork and cost.

nooka · 30/11/2017 06:52

for haveacupoftea, sorry to hear about your dog. We weren't there when one of our cats died. I'm sure that was much more upsetting for us than it was for her.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2017 07:13

as she's had him for four years (from a puppy) and lived in LA while filming in Toronto he's probably flown quite a bit in the past.

I think she said she Skyped them when filming away!

SoupDragon · 30/11/2017 07:14

haveacupoftea

haveacupoftea · 30/11/2017 07:45

Thank you both

mathanxiety · 02/12/2017 02:14

Lweji
Not if it was Charles, Andrew or Edward.

Wiping my eyes here - very funny indeed.

mathanxiety · 02/12/2017 02:27

haveacupoftea

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