Why won't she buy clothes that fit??!!!

[BabyLlama]

This is NOT a MIL bashing thread. My MIL is an extremely generous lady and has helped us no end - however she keeps buying my DD too-small clothes. My DD is almost 3 and is very tall for her age and has been wearing 3-4 year clothing for the last 3 months. My DH and I have both told MIL this and she she does see our DD regularly and is always buying her a new outfit (which we are both grateful for), but it's always 2-3 years. I don't like her wasting her money on something that our DD will never even wear, and we have tried over and over again to tell her that 2-3 years is too small.
I don't want to come across as grabby or ungrateful, but also feel bad that my DD simply doesn't fit into the clothes that MIL has so generously bought for her.

My 7 year old nephew is 144cm tall and wears size 10-11 clothes and has size 3/4 feet. His younger brother is 3 years old, and wears size 5-6 clothes because he's 108cm tall and wears size 12 shoes.

I always check with my sister what size clothes to buy them- it takes a matter of minutes and doesn't mean any extra work choosing them.

Oh god my MIL is like this. She constantly bought clothes for a 5 year old that were age 9-10. I don't know how many times I told her. Her answer was always oh they will grow into it eventually
Yes they will but I don't want to be storing them for the next 4 bloody years when they dont even need them yet.

Obviously every single child of 2 years old that Raving has met have been exactly the same size as each other. And then on their 3rd birthday they all magically grow the exact same amount to fit into 3 year olds clothing.

I had a relative who always bought for the exact age my kids were. Mine weren't particularly big, but it meant that they always grew out of the clothes really quick rather than them lasting if they had bought the next size up.

OP could you take a photo of your DD and label her in it with accurate measurements, like Height 108 cm (or whatever it is, my DS under average, as per his parents ) Shoe size: junior 8 (or whatever)? then when your MIL is out shopping she can refer to the pic and has absolutely no excuse whatsoever for not getting the right size? She might possibly still think in imperial measurements, but you do need metric as I think labels only mention metric as well as year group.

Wow, I'm laughing at Raving who must walk around with her eyes closed to have never seen an almost 3 year old who is more than 98cm tall.

Dd1 is just 4 and in 5-6 clothes, they're baggy, but the length is perfect and 4-5 look half-mast and ridiculous.

Dd2 is almost 2 and has only just moved into 12-18 months. She is short and petite like me, dd1 is built more like their dad.

Unless that is, you think I starve one and feed the other nothing but smarties.

I would just hand it back. Look at the size, thank her, tell her its too small and hand it back.

Im supposed how little difference there is tops for 2-3 years and 3-4 years on the head. DS has a large head (52 cm at 2.5 years) and we cannot cope with normal round necks but even some with buttons down the front don't fit over his head.
Bought 3-4 years and there just as bloody bad!!!

I am just wondering if she's a bit forgetful, if she is generally so nice. Presumably it wasn't very long ago that DD was the size down.

I agree with others, just check the size or hold it up to your DD and then hand it back in the nicest way saying its too small and maybe the shop will exchange it for something bigger. Then if she has something to say she can say it, and if it keeps happening then you can make a judgement on whether she is being difficult or unable.

Sleeping - we had this problem with my ds too so I feel your your pain! We used to buy polo shirts and zip up hoodies to get round the head problem..... by the time he was 8/9 he seemed to fit normal t shirts and things.

Op - just hand them back to mil saying there is no point in you taking them as they won't fit. She will finally get the message if you don't take them off her hands and she sees how much money she is wasting in unworn clothes.

And I am another one who has a child in bigger clothes too - dd is 3.5 and was wearing an age 6 party dress from next last weekend.

It's nice to hear about your daughter, LRD.

The whole goady fucker thing on this site is becoming a tad bonkers. Glad people are seeing straight through it now.

Thingywhatsit its some of the sweat shirts that i struggle with. Bought him Paw Patrol one aged 3-4 and literally wouldn't fit over his head. He also has a short neck which doesn't help. Hoping it evens out as he gets older

Thanks liney. And yes. This is why I post less ...

RavingRoo - calling kids fat because children come in different sizes, shame on you!

My ds is 98th centile for height and 95th for weight so he’s almost perfectly in proportion and certainly not fat! His dad is over 6ft so he was always going to be tall. He’s 3 and is in 4-5 clothes, almost 5-6 now.

Shop sizing varies massively too.

OP, my parents used to do this but have got better now. They certainly weren’t doing it on purpose, I think they just got confused with all the different sizing. And the fact my 3-year-old ds is now taller than my 6-year-old niece (who’s small for her age - which is also totally fine Raving Roo!) definitely helped!

ToastyFingers

[Ignores Ravingroo's comments]

My MIL does the same thing, especially for DD. DH and I are both quite tall so, surprise surprise, so are our DC. MIL is short and can't get her head around the fact that just because the clothes say 'age 8' they may not fit EVERY 8 year old. DH has spoken to her about this and it seems that part of the issue for her is that the smaller sizes look 'more dainty'. We just thank her but explain that they are too small and send them back with her. She did argue at first that they should fit, but we invited her to measure the DC height to show her that they are, infact, taller than the height indicated on the clothes.

Like your MIL, she is very generous and wants to do nice things for the DC but for some reason can't get her head around the fact that we don't have dainty petite children.

Your MIL sounds very passive aggressive or at least is refusing to listen to anyone. The old lady knows best Syndrome that my mother seems to have also contracted. Measure your daughter and your nephew(?) and send the measurements to her. No excuse then is there??

I agree it's likely to be about what your MiL thinks your DD should be wearing.

My own M and exMiL both did this on occasion. Flouncy wonderments and boho chic, when she was fine in shorts or trousers and a simple top.

Thank her for her lovely presents and say they've loved them the apologise and say they've been a pain and grown again, would she like their new measurements? At this point hand over a business card size note for her purse?

I am with you OP! My MIL recently buying my DD t shirts aged 8-9 - my DD was 10 in September and is slight but not tiny or short!! I have very nicely mentioned several times but its not making any difference, drives me nuts

My MIL has been doing it for 15 years and nothing I’ve said will change it! She has even rung up whilst in a shop asking about sizing and when I gave her the right size for my child, she argued and bought me what she thought was right Luckily the local charity shop benefits!

My just turned 2 year old is easily the size of lots of kids in 4 yr old's reception class... children aren't all the same size!!

OP if you're unable to exchange then I'd just ask her to stop buying or ask her if she'd like to come out on a shopping trip with you and dd.

My grandson is 4,5 months "old". He just had his first two teeth, measures 81 cm. and weighs over 8 kg. You could try to put clothes size 3 to 6 months on him ...... I guess.....but don't get surprised at the result 😂🤣

Tbh I find it hard to believe a 2 yo is as tall as a 3 or 4 yo - especially considering most child sizes are quite big nowadays

What an utterly bizarre comment. Why is that so hard to believe? My tall 6yo wears age 8-9, somethings are age 9-10.

Perhaps you could ask your MIL to try the clothes on your DCs herself. And then invite her to tell you why a pair of trousers that catches under the heel and finishes mid-sole, or a top with too short sleeves that leaves a full 2 inch gap at the waist, is either attractive or practical.

So what @corbynsbumflannel - my DS is tall for his age. He is 9 months old. He is the average height of an 18 month old. He is also the average weight of an 18 month old. Just got his feet measured today - size 5H - again the average size of an 18 month old. Ergo he is in 18-24 month clothes at age 9 months (of course that is before you consider most 'cheap' clothes shrink in the wash anyway). He is in proportion across all measurements - I don't think it makes him obese - and funnily enough the doctors and health visitors don't think that either.

OP I get you - all you can do is sell BNWT on ebay and buy the right size.

My MIL is the same - she's forever commenting on how tall my DS is (he's the same height as her other grandson who's two years older than him), and yet she always buys him clothes one size down from his age and then takes the tags off before she gives them to us!! She's been doing this for ten years now. She will periodically text me to ask what size he's in but then she takes no notice - I'll tell her 11-12 and she'll buy 9-10 and say 'Oh, but the 11-12 looked huge' when DS is standing there in a pair of jeans half-way up his shins.