Why won't she buy clothes that fit??!!!

[BabyLlama]

This is NOT a MIL bashing thread. My MIL is an extremely generous lady and has helped us no end - however she keeps buying my DD too-small clothes. My DD is almost 3 and is very tall for her age and has been wearing 3-4 year clothing for the last 3 months. My DH and I have both told MIL this and she she does see our DD regularly and is always buying her a new outfit (which we are both grateful for), but it's always 2-3 years. I don't like her wasting her money on something that our DD will never even wear, and we have tried over and over again to tell her that 2-3 years is too small.
I don't want to come across as grabby or ungrateful, but also feel bad that my DD simply doesn't fit into the clothes that MIL has so generously bought for her.

I think Raving is being a goady fecker.

Raving
Bollocks are kids clothes large. I found dd wore the 3-6 months baby clothes when she hit 6 months and generally baby clothes quite big. But not once dd was a toddler. She grew in height massively between 2 1/2 and 3 1/4 and missed a size out. She went from age 2-3 to 4-5 in about 6 months. At 9 1/2 the age 11-12 only just fit because dd is the supposed height of the average 11 1/2 year old.

Could you write down your DD's actual measurements and height and give them to MIL and say this is her size. Lots of clothes come in 'height' sizes she might find that easier to grasp than you saying your DD takes an older size than her age (which obviously loads of kids do - it's only a rough guide.)

My DS was very tall for his age, if I'd bought him age 3 trousers at age 3 they'd have come just below the knee and yet fitted him around the waist because he wasn't fat but tall

When MIL realised I was doing this (instead of squeezing my children into clothes and shoes that were too small) she began cutting the labels out of things so I couldn’t exchange them

That's so bonkers I don't know where to begin.

And ravingroo, I don't understand why you are looking for a fight.

Raving - another person whose dd was in the 98th centile at birth for length, head circumference; and 75th for weight. Now 5ft 10" at 20, and a size 8. She took clothes at least +1yr older than her age from 3 onwards. What's your point?

I wouldn’t keep them. I’d give them back and ask her to exchange them. Be consistent and she is likely to comply or stop buying clothes.

Well I am 50 and I can fit into age 18-20 so you can't always trust the label. As pp said op just keep returning the clothes to mil as politely as possible until she gets the message. It is annoying though.

It's also proportions. My DC have managed to grow into and out of and into the same clothes through the ages of 1-3 ; because they grew first with little pot bellies and things were too tight, then shot up and were thin toddlers, then grew chubbier again then taller again... plu one has short legs and was on 91st but always wore her age at 2-3, the other had long legs and at 2 can wear his sister's leggings age 5-6.

Gosh - yes! Some people are tall! And some people are short! Shocker!

In my daughter’s class at school there is one little girl whose mum is 4ft11. And a little boy whose dad is probably 6ft 7 or 6ft 8. (Haven’t measured him but he is significantly taller than my 6ft 4 ex boyfriend.

Funnily enough boy-with-tall-dad absolutely towers over girl-with-short-mum.

Only tall for their age kids seem to exist on here. I wonder where the parents of the large and growing percentage of overweight kids are? Kids clothes sizes are big these days because kids are generally a lot bigger and shops are catering for that. If you find the clothes small the chances are your child is bigger than average (or a Mumsnet 6ft tall and skinny as a rake child).

Raving another one here my 6 year old is in 8-9 and her 4 year old sister is in 5-6 they are tall girls.

I've always thought it a pity nobody does clothes for tall children as waists can be loose on them and I find it hard to find nice clothes with suitable designs as they are designed for older children.

I also have this problem with clothes bought for my eldest if we can't return them her little sister gets to wear them and I get her something else, but clothes for my younger daughter that cannot be returned are kept for gifts or donated.

Also, one of my kids is a bit on the chubby side and she does still need clothes. Larger than her age. It's still pointless buying too small clothes, whether fat or tall 😂

My ex-MIL always did this when DD was a baby/toddler. Then when DD was around 3 she starting making constant comments about how tall DD is (she is not excessively tall for her age, I think she's around 70th centile) and instead buying everything 2-3 ages too big. It's not as annoying because it does fit DD eventually, but it does mean I have a wardrobe of clothes that she will grow into in around 2 years and have to try to remember them at the appropriate time.

Just ignore RavingRoo, she or he will calm down once they process what's being explained. Some people have slow comprehension and it's not kind to point out that they've not understood.

I had to get kids clothes sizes for a group of children aged from 3 to 15 for something a few years ago and I was surprised at how many (perfectly normal looking) children were in the "wrong" size clothes. I say perfectly normal looking because they were not visibly obese or particularly tiny or anything. Some wore bigger than their age some wore smaller. I was very glad I hadn't assumed sizes based on age alone!

I don't understand why MIL keeps buying the wrong size after being told repeatedly. I would just hand everything back to her and say "thank you for thinking of DD, but that won't fit her so you should take it back and get your money back, or you could exchange it for the next size up if you still want to give her something"

Raving:

My DD is perfectly average in size, 50th percentile, she's 1 this month.

She wears some clothes still that are 3-6 months, some that are 6-9, 9-12, 12-18 and has a few t-shirts for 2 year olds that fit.

All depends on the child, make of the clothes etc.

I could of written this myself OP!

Dd is nearly 2 and in 3-4 year clothes (she’s very tall too) and MIL insists on buying her 2-3 which are just too short.

If I find out why, I’ll let you know!

Raving not everyone is average - maybe you come from a family of short-arses?

I have 3 boys, I'm tall, DH is 6'4" - they were never going to be small. All three are very tall. One average build and two are slim. DS8 has just moved out of his age 11 jeans because they are too short (It's a pain because everything is huge on the waist). He towers over the children in his class and the class above - he'd look rediculous in age 8 clothes.

Bit of a pain, yes. But also nice that she's buying your DD new clothes so often (every two weeks did you say?).

I think all it will take is a bit of hammering the point home, but gently lol. Maybe if you return them to her every single time they're too small, saying they're lovely but just too small, and as you wouldn't want DD to miss out could she exchange for the next size up?

The inconvenience might prompt her to pay attention to the size her granddaughter actually is, as opposed to what the label says should the average child of her age.

No one really being unreasonable in this scenario I don't think, just a bit of Nanna-training needed perhaps!

DD usually goes into the next size up about 4 months before her birthday. Coat sizes are weird in Sainsbury's, our nearest shop, though, she's 10 and in 11 - 12 already, because they're too narrow to fit over her school jumpers otherwise.

I've just looked up the height range for DD's current age. She is half way through this age band, so you would think she would be somewhere in that range.

No. The last time I measured her a few months ago she was 10cm taller than the maximum for that height.

If I don't want her trousers and sleeves at half mast I have to buy clothes labelled for an older child. My mum doesn't agree with this and continually expresses amazement that she can't buy the ones labelled with the correct age. She would get on well with Raving.

Clothes being cut generously for overweight children just made things more challenging for my tall thin son. He had to wear the size up for length and then they fell off his waist (or had to be cinched right in). I was glad when he moved to adult sizing which comes in waist/length combinations so is much more flexible. For tall but normal proportioned dd the issue was that the styles were too old (she wanted to wear little girl dresses, not tweens fashions).

OP I think the only thing you can really do is to keep giving the clothes back to your MIL.

OP over the years I've come to the conclusion that some people have a blind spot about this.

My friend who is intelligent and sensible in ALL other ways, insists on buying her own DC and others, the exact age group they are in clothes.

This means that her poor, tall sturdy kids are always looking as though they're dressed in the dark.

Jeans they can barely move in and cuffs which are just above their wrists.

It's maddening! I did say something once...I said "Gosh, those jeans do look a bit small...he's so lovely and tall...might be time to get him into the next size up!" and she said "Oh no, he's in 5 to 6 and that's what they are."

Right.

My ribs visible scrawny 2 year old still fits width wise into 12-18 month clothes but the gap at the waist is draughty at this time of year...

I buy 2-3 for tops and 18-24 for trousers because the width of tops is more of an aesthetic issue than a practical one!

I take the view that she will grow into stuff eventually, hopefully before it gets too short!

deadringer
😂