Why won't she buy clothes that fit??!!!

[BabyLlama]

This is NOT a MIL bashing thread. My MIL is an extremely generous lady and has helped us no end - however she keeps buying my DD too-small clothes. My DD is almost 3 and is very tall for her age and has been wearing 3-4 year clothing for the last 3 months. My DH and I have both told MIL this and she she does see our DD regularly and is always buying her a new outfit (which we are both grateful for), but it's always 2-3 years. I don't like her wasting her money on something that our DD will never even wear, and we have tried over and over again to tell her that 2-3 years is too small.
I don't want to come across as grabby or ungrateful, but also feel bad that my DD simply doesn't fit into the clothes that MIL has so generously bought for her.

Nooka...yes! My DD is 9 and tall...in length she fits age 11 but the waists on those are gaping...I can sew but it annoys me! Some things I can't alter...

I’m still waiting for my child to fit into the trousers that were bought last Christmas (before first birthday) Thinkjng it’ll be sometime next winter...

The best one was my mother not realising that slippers are sold by shoe size, not age, she bought size 10 for 10yo DD. I only realised on the day I was packing for a residential school trip, my aunt dashed out for me and bought the right size. I still haven't had the heart to tell my mum.

Kids sizes are tricky, DS is 75th centile for height but has narrow hips and waist so he can still wear some 18-24 month clothes that fell off him when I first bought them (he’s 3.2 years now!) although admittedly they come up a little short on him

My MIL insists on buying clothes that are far too big for him because she’s convinced he’s ‘tall’, if I can put a belt on the trousers sometimes we can get away with it but otherwise we’ve got a drawer full of trousers that literally won’t stay on him. I think in her case she just thinks she knows best and that he’ll grow into them (I hope so!)

My MIL bought my boys a hoodie every single time she saw them . thankfully, this was not more than once every six weeks or so, but by God we had a LOT of hoodies...

My mil does the same thing! Dd is 8 so it has been going on for a while. It is frustrating to have stuff that only just fits. It isn’t as simple as just exchanging things because she shops in a city with shops we don’t have here.

If things are v small then I get dd to try them on so she can see that the sleeves are too short or the trousers are half mast. If they fit (even if only just) then we end up keeping them and they end up going to her younger sister before she gets any wear out of them.

I think it's psychological. I think she finds it difficult to think of her as bigger than her clothes age. Stereotypically/traditionally little girls are petite, fragile, dainty. People tend to brag if their boys are 'bigger' but it's not discussed in the same way if it's a girl? Just a thought.

Quite honestly, even if you could fit your DD into the clothes, it's much more sensible to buy a size that is just a bit too big at that age as they are growing so fast.

We have the opposite problem. DD is really really skinny with long arms and legs. There are only a few shops that will supply the correct leg/arm length to waist size ratio. I keep telling MIL which shops these are (H&M mainly, nothing expensive) and she really cannot grasp it so will either bring something that's the right length but so wide that it looks insane (think M&S leggings that look like baggy trousers on the legs and won't stay up if DD moves even slightly) or something that's the right width but so short in the arms that there is no point at all. T shirts are fairly safe as can be worn baggy and the arm length doesn't matter. She just wouldn't listen for years on end. I just pass them straight back and tell her they don't fit, could she maybe get a refund. After years of this, she has started giving things with gift receipts so at least I can swap them. So she did listen in the end!

Working in a nursery it was surprising how many children were wearing trousers that were bought for length and were far too tight around the waist. Cutting into their tummy. I used to buy my children a larger size and take them up if needed. And neither of them are overweight.

Apparently in the ‘70s it was common for kids’ clothing to come in “Regular “ and “Chubby “ fittings (and yes, that was what they called it).

My DGS is also much bigger than average for his age and I wouldn't dream of ignoring such requests from his parents. I find it weird that your mil is ignoring you - does she have memory problems?

I would suggest you thank her profusely and then exclaim what a shame it is about the size and ask her for the receipt so you can exchange it. Don't worry too much though - it sounds like you've explained it enough and it's her money.

Raving you are a dick

My grandma had the same problem, but in the opposite direction as we were both very short for our age (even now I can buy children's clothes). My mum would say "'s wearing age 5-6 leggings at the moment" and my grandma would then go to the shop where a shop assistant would start helping her. The shop assistant would ask how old we were, and would immediately then say "oh, if she's nearly nine, you need age 8-9 clothes - let me show you where they are!" and all the clothes would be enormous on us.

We didn't manage to stop it, because my grandma would never, ever go against any sort of authority if they were telling her she was wrong. She'd assume she'd misheard my mum and the nice shop assistant must be right. I don't think we ever came up with a practical solution beyond "encourage her to buy things that aren't clothes", though at least in our cases we could keep the too-big clothes if we had to.

They wear such huge sizes because of their ‘heights’ right

Yes Raving some kids actually do. At just 3, DS1 was into 3-4 for tops because he was tall (and the smaller sizes didn't fit over his big head) but he was often verging on underweight (hyperactive and would often not eat for days), so the 2-3 bottoms often fell down on him. He's 13, now and while no longer underweight, he looks just like photos of his over 6' granda in his teens. His granda's sister is tall and broad shouldered, too.

My MIL definitely hasn't got dementia. She's a very intelligent woman, but she just can't seem to grasp the fact that 2-3 years clothing is too small. Her other grandchild is a month younger than my DD and she will buy for both of them at the same time. However, he is visibly shorter and stockier than my DD, who is slim with long arms and legs. I honestly can't see why she buys the same sizes for both of them. They're even together a fair bit at her house so the difference should be quite easy to see.

I do love her though

My kids have all worn the 'next size up' from their actual ages ever since they grew out of 0-3months at around six weeks old.
None are fat (really Roo, they aren't) and I've never had any trouble in getting family members on board with the concept! It's not rocket science.
Plus, I feel it's common sense. You buy the next size so they get a bit more wear anyway? Unless your child is unusually petite, you buy the next size up??

DD1 was well over 98 cm at not quite 3. DD2 was 100 cm at just turned 2. Some children are just tall.

I was constantly taking in waistbands too because they were skinny as well as tall.

Don't understand why anyone would have difficulty believing this happens.

Just give her the clothes straight back if they are too small. Don't make the hoo-ha around driving to the shops/ attempting to exchange your problem.

I agree with Inertia. Actually hand the clothes back to her, "Lovely, thank you, but she'll need the next size up", and do not give her the chance to leave them.

I used to have the same issue. My dd was always tall for her age and needed the next size up. And actually, a lot of children's clothes come up really small for some weird reason - and I don't mean that they are made for skinny children, but that they are often smaller and shorter than they should be.

Why not just ask her why she keeps buying the wrong size?

My DD is 10 and needs the next size up because she has freakishly long legs, she's got a small waist though. Clothes fit her one way but too big the other. Same with tops, long body but small waist.

As an aside, my 4 year old won't wear clothes which don't have a number 4 on the label... luckily he is in either 3-4 or 4-5 clothes so that's fine, but heaven forbid I try to get him to wear a top which says age 3 or age 5 on the label... he always has to check and won't have it if it's not for 4 year olds!

RavingRoo - clearly GF time

My DS is 7 nearly 8 and is in age 10-11 trousers and tops but unfortunately has an age 7 waist and ribs you can see, he grows like a weed. He has never been standard size skinny jeans are too baggy etc 😡

Are they secondhand? Is that why they can't be returned?