To feel sorry for some posters on AIBU?

[passemoilevin]

Even ones that have BU. They have hundreds of people scrambling to call them names, call their kids names etc. Not just a page, but 20 pages absolutely laying into them off the back of one silly post of a couple of hundred words.

I've been on the firing line, and it's made me feel absolutely shit, and I'd never post here again except in a lighthearted scenario even after a few wines (except this one clearly).--

I get that this is what AIBU is all about. And honesty is appreciated. But calling people cunts over the silliest stuff, saying they shouldn't be parents, saying they're not surprised nobody likes them etc when clearly the poster is vulnerable and down. What do people gain from that? I don't get it.

YABU because.. is easy enough to say. You are a stupid unreasonable cunt and I feel sorry for your poor children to have a mother like you is never acceptable IMO. Sometimes I feel desperately sorry for some posters on here, and feel others forget they are real people.

There's been a lot of arseholes about tonight. It seems a desperate race to get the first snarky dig in.

It's been extremely harsh on aibu recently. Horrible to see and not what MN should be about.

I’m on here a lot and I do not see that, anything like that would be deleted by the mods.

Yes people get heated but what you are describing is not common at all

I really don't like the nasty name calling.

I do get why posters get fed up when they take the time to reply and instead of listening thr OP refuses to listen and really is only after validation for their unreasonableness. They argue why thry are reasonable, are arsey to people who don't agree and when someonr does agree with them (oftem after 5 pages) thr OP says 'thank you for some SUPPORTIVE comments'.

*I’m on here a lot and I do not see that, anything like that would be deleted by the mods.

Yes people get heated but what you are describing is not common at all*

I'm not saying someone has posted that directly. But frequent snippets like that over 100 posts join together and stick in your head, when you're on the receiving end.

I do get why posters get fed up when they take the time to reply and instead of listening thr OP refuses to listen and really is only after validation for their unreasonableness. They argue why thry are reasonable, are arsey to people who don't agree and when someonr does agree with them (oftem after 5 pages) thr OP says 'thank you for some SUPPORTIVE comments'.

I agree that's annoying. But some of the vitriol people spout. I just wonder what's going on through their heads? What good is it doing people? Would they ever tell people this stuff IRL?

Yanbu. I think there's a lot of people who are quite sad, angry and bitter in real life and they come on here as a place to release it.

Yanbu. But HQ love AIBU so it won't be going anywhere.

Posters have to learn the hard way to avoid it.

I do get why some posters get fed up with some OPs, who don't want to hear any criticism despite posting on AIBU. But I don't get why it's hard to comprehend that there is never any need for nasty name calling, like 'cunt', 'bitch', 'snowflake' etc. I suspect some posters forget there are real people who have posted their OPs and they have feelings that can be hurt.

I totally get where you’re coming from OP. A women posted the other day and got anniliated. She was accused of three different things mainly (amongst loads of other random shit). I outright asked where she had done the things she was accused of, no one, yes no one could clarify or back up their claims, I read back through pages and pages and they were all false claims. The thread dissolved immediately and no one apologised. Mob mentality at its finest with bullies at the helm.

I once got hammered over a post. A couple actually- you'd think I'd learn by now!

@bluntness100 - I’m here a lot too and I see what the OP is describing as all too common. It turns into a bear pit far too quickly and easily these days - no reasonable explanation apart from “your (sic) a cunt!” being deemed as a reasonable response these days (surely the answer is ‘you’re being unreasonable’). It’s getting totally unpleasant and unnecessary

I once got hammered over a post. A couple actually- you'd think I'd learn by now!
I get hammered regularly on school threads for having thr shockingly controversial view that:

1. Kids are kids and even good kids can spin the truth
2. School can make mistakes
3. If you storm in, kick off, go on some 'but my child says...' and want to speak to the head/governors/ofsted you just look like a crazy and utterly irrational person abd you will get a bad reputation.
4. The way to deal with situations is to support the school and if you have concerns calmly and reasonably speak to the most appropriate member of staff whilst being aware of points 1 and 2

I'm going ti start my own hate jar and put a pound in every time someone is an arse to me or says 'you can tell who the teachers are', 'well let me tell you if you did x y z thrn I WOULD be reporting you' etc

I’ve just come back to AIBU and have been shocked by some of the advice being given. It’s very harsh and judgemental and assumes that no-one ever makes a mistake in life. On the thread that has just been removed I advised the poster to not share more information, but he did and now the thread has gone, thank goodness. It was clear from the beginning that he would eventually get a kicking.

MaisyPops I get where you're coming from. I see people say OP's should never be teachers and they hope they're not teaching their kids, over the most inconsequential things that even I, with my precious PFB wouldn't get in a tizz about.

Or a thread I read the other day when a poster was a bit annoyed with her DP over adoption leave - and was told that she should never be allowed to adopt.

Oh but Carolelle, don't you know anybody suffering with a mental illness is lying? As everybody claims to have them nowadays

YANBU. There's a way to tell people they're B.U without being rude and hurtful. I think some posters can forget or not care that behind a user name is a real person with real feelings.

There are some real arses around at the moment - it doesn’t matter what the OP says they are only there to put the boot in.

YANBU mumsnet can be vile sometimes. A few posters in particular are so sarky and nasty. I wonder how they find the time to sit on the internet all day and call people they don't know names

I didn't think name calling was allowed? I thought those posts were deleted.
I don't understand why some people use aibu when they clearly only want to be told they're not and get upset at posts saying otherwise.
I've had a few posts on there because I was genuinely looking for other points of view. I found seeing situations through different perspectives interesting and I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two.
In a world where political correctness has gone mad it's often refreshing to see honest views.

There's a lot of angry people about op. Hopefully they will find peace with themselves one day.

In a world where political correctness has gone mad it's often refreshing to see honest views.

^^ People usually use this excuse as a way to be mean or disrespectful to others.

YANBU. The level of vitriol and finger pointing is pretty shocking to me. I like the idea of the board and getting varying opinions on stuff, but the reality is so harsh. A lot of people seem to see every action in such black and white terms, I cant really relate to it as I always tend to see shades of grey.

Maybe Jings but I don't mean it that way. Anonymous forums like this aren't an excuse to be racist/homophobic or anything else in my own opinions.
You know how nowadays people tell you what you want to hear because they don't want to hurt you but sometimes you need opinions that are unbiased.

I got slammed when I posted in Chat. Couldn't give A Horse's Ass. AIBU is quite interesting though, I usually read it when I'm a bit bored (post when I should be asleep) or eating or something.

Like now...