Pls settle conundrum between me and friend : how rare is this man?

[cdvegan2023]

This man:

• is anywhere from 30 to 55 yo
• has his own house, no share or living with parents
• good job, makes at least 50% or more above average income (at least for his area)
• is 6' at least (though slightly less is OK)
• has all his hair and teeth
• is at least somewhat attractive and keeps fit
• is not abusive, violent etc
• doesn't gamble, smoke, do drugs or drink too much
• is great in bed (also no pencil dick)
• is intelligent, funny and fun to be around

(I, on the other hand, am short, fat, and massively untidy, yet he still puts up with my bullshit!)

One of my good friends is "terminally single". I get so frustrated with her. She's had plenty of offers. Indeed a lovely guy who we both know is in love with her has been for years. And she rejected him as he has slightly receding hair (which is actually ok and normal in your 40s). She's no spring chicken herself. Apart from that he dotes on her, is good fun, and obviously very broody. I often wonder if she will regret this at some point. She has rejected others on height and even eye colour. Honestly I despair.

Obviously don't know about the good in bed bit but both my neighbours either side of me, are single men, own their homes, drive nice cars, have good, well paid jobs. one is over 6ft and incredibly fit and active, jogs, bike rides, has some sort of water canoe thingy. The other is a really kind and sweet man who is averagely good looking, friendly and helpful. No idea why either of them aren't married. No sign of any girlfriends either. They always chat when putting the bins out and don't seem like serial killer types but they both seem to have aspects of OCD as they are forever cleaning their cars, homes and hoovering their fake grass! In fact one of them is outside already with a leaf blower!

I hope that was meant lightheartedly, OP.

So, er, tell us what you have to offer in the same respective areas.

I like bald.

And at 5.1” I’m not fussy about height.

@cdvegan2023 I really don't like the way that you say pencil dick. That has nothing to do with how good someone is in bed, and making that comment aobut pencil dick is horrible, in the same way that if a man was talking about his ideal woman and said "great pair of t*ts" or "huge knockers" as his ideal that would also be horrible.

Fiancé ticks every box except:

• height
• money (he has a fab own business and enough money and I'm not a pathetic gold digger - like you?)

I tick every box except height.

Every one of my male friends and friend's husbands that I immediately think of ticks all the same except height and money (though most tick money). I'm assuming on the sex, no complaints from female friends.

So go on then OP - what are you bringing to the table?

And what's so magic about 6'

ChocolateFireguard

Plus if you achieved all the criteria in the ops list and declared him a keeper you’d have to reassess the penis situation after childbirth and possibly start all over again for a suitable penis. Because life, like vaginas changes with time and pressure.

Dh apart from earnings but I'm not that shallow to care and it certainly wasn't a factor when we met, though employed was.

Dbro ticks all (Not commenting on sex obvs), but you may be the wrong gender if you catch my drift....

@honeydragon yes that would be true and if my husband had a list like that for women and measured me against it I wouldn't match up I am short (5ft) overweight (size 16/18/20) have crowns and fillings galore in my teeth, crows feet, and I don't work and haven't since we got married and had our family. I never do keep fit. The only criteria that I meet is the age one

I’m happy enough, my short bald man is cleaning the kitchen whilst I’m in bed drinking a latte.

The problem you have here is that there are a lot of men like this out there - less than 50%, sure, but lots of them - and there are also a lot of women out there that are after them in a fairly clinical sort of way.

If you added 'isn't a giant misogynist, actively wants a partner to make a life with' and removed all the looks nonsense, perhaps reduced your money requirements (!!) then you might have a smaller pool but it'd be a better one.

Also, are you the female equivalent of this? Because (and I am generalising here but) people do seem to like equality of these sort of things, of outlook, of class, in partnerships.

Perhaps just try keeping an open mind?

Based on a survey in my household, that'd be 100% of the male population. Possibly unrepresentative though. Also mine shares the house he owns with me and the DC so that might be a deal breaker for you.

May also be worth pointing out that DH didn't tick half so many of those boxes when i met him!

I found one of those when I was 36.

Reader, I married him.

Actually now i think about it mine is missing one tooth. Drat. He won't do for you OP!

My exDH was all of those 'qualities' - didn't stop him having an affair.

I would put integrity, kindness, compassion and generosity (of spirit, not materialism) at the top of the list.

I think 'pencil dick' means he can sketch with it.

My husband is 5' 10" and only earns a few k over average but these aren't very important criteria to me. We live very comfortably and he's a fantastic husband and father to our children.
What would the equivalent list be for women? Under size 8? Tight vagina?

There's one would ticks most of your list here beside me. However I own half the house by being married to him and he's missing one molar from playing rugby.

And he was a 20yo penniless student when I met and fell in love with him so wouldn't have fulfilled your criteria back then either.

Would = who

Does he put the toilet seat down?

My DH does, so I excuse him not fulfilling a couple of your criteria

Every time I read one of these threads I feel so smug. My DH is that and more. And most of those points you list are not just the case, he is the extreme end if it. You forgot to say so many great characteristics!

I found one of these when I was 36. Although he’s only 5’10” so actually not quite on the mark as far as your list goes. It’s our wedding anniversary today. 😊

My brother ticks all the boxes that I could possibly know about, no idea about his anatomy or bedroom antics though. He's onto marriage number 5 or is it 6 though as he is equally as demanding in his requirements for a partner oh and his includes no children born or planned.