Pls settle conundrum between me and friend : how rare is this man?

[cdvegan2023]

This man:

• is anywhere from 30 to 55 yo
• has his own house, no share or living with parents
• good job, makes at least 50% or more above average income (at least for his area)
• is 6' at least (though slightly less is OK)
• has all his hair and teeth
• is at least somewhat attractive and keeps fit
• is not abusive, violent etc
• doesn't gamble, smoke, do drugs or drink too much
• is great in bed (also no pencil dick)
• is intelligent, funny and fun to be around

You’ve just described DH, my younger brother, my sister’s ex husband and both of DH’s brothers.

So not that rare imo.

I have a fair few male friends with those characteristics as well, although not actually slept with them all obvs.

My DH meets all of the criteria on the list apart from being single and the earnings. Im not sure where he comings in those rankings, but we are doing ok so thats good enough for me!

I’ve got one of those.

DP meets all of those criteria and attracts a lot of interest from other women! I am no great looker myself (pretty face, but short and plump) and I can tell that sometimes other women are wondering what DP sees in me!

I think nearly all of my friends found and married one, me included

That said, DH took my 94 year old grandmother to the races last year and put her bets on for her, so that probably rules him out of your list

Wow, there’re a lot of high earners!

You've missed a vital (imo) component out: to be kind.

I think that it's a bit unrealistic to think that someone with so many advantages will reach a decent age without either a) being snapped up by some other woman already or b) have some damned good reason why not.

Not that rare but the vast majority are taken/have something seriously wrong with them.

My DP hits all of these markers to some extent but none of your points (except the last one, ok maybe last 2) really cover the reasons why I love him so much. He's kind, open with his feelings, treats me with love and respect, is passionate about what he loves and a fantastic father.

This may be irrelevant as I'm not sure what your list is for but I did some online dating when I was single and found that actually there were quite a few men that met your criteria out there. Perfectly lovely men that I didn't find that special connection with.

Sounds like my exh. Sadly couldn’t stay faithful to anyone (his first wife, me and the few following me). He’s a charmer though

He's my brother but you don't stand a chance, he's very exacting when it comes to picking anything or anybody and he's married with twins

He's my brother but you don't stand a chance, he's very exacting when it comes to picking anything or anybody and he's married with twins

Is that what your looking for I wonder OP? What if the list was reversed and men were listing attributes they looked for in women. It would suddenly seem sexist and demeaning. I always think stipulating random personal attributes which are outside their control eg height signify quite an immature attitude to ideals. I've dated both short and tall . Much more important is their values and kindness.

Friends of mine who make lists like this are terminally single often because they can't see what is right in front of their eyes ie lovely men who are not tick box ready.

Its my DH too but I met him when he worked in mothercare and didnt have any money. He wouldnt have fit your criteria when single.

What babymama says.

and YY to the values and kindness.

And YY again to 'immature'.

And YY again to terminally single friends of mine (both genders) who think they are buying a car rather than choosing a life partner.

If I'd done a tick box exercise then I would never have got together with my DH & he would say the same about me. On paper we should never have worked, but we do.

I would have sworn blind that I could never have been with a smoker, but my husband did smoke when we met and yet bizarrely it didn't matter at all.

Therefore, my advice when looking for a partner is to have an open mind. Sometimes things don't come packaged as we expect them to.

As ‘single’ isn’t one of your criteria, my DH fits the bill.
He’s also kind, generous, a great dad...
What have you got to offer a man like that OP?

Kittymum I gamble too, I’m such a keeper

My DH meets all the requirements apart from keeping fit, but he's rather taken.

A good friend is single and would fulfill them all I suspect - well I've no idea of his prowess in bed or dimensions of his penis.

He is wonderful and deserves so much better than a woman who'd make a list like that.

I fit pretty much of that criteria now.

I didn't five years ago when my OH met me. I was still 6'1", I had the hair, teeth etc or whatever it is you specify, but I was broke and living at my parents aged 30.

Today I'm above your 50% + criteria in salary, yes I own my own home, but I honestly couldn't have done it without the love and support of the girl that chose to look past this initial stuff.

She supported me and helped me believe in myself, was a true friend. She's stunning and could literally have had anyone, but our connection and prior friendship (of 1 year) meant we built each other up.

So yeah, by all means look for the "finished article" but they may already be with someone supportive, or you may find they're not quite at that point in their life yet.

God forbid a man should only reach the height of five foot ten and be a victim of male pattern baldness eh? Because they have complete control over those things.

Of course you're a perfectly proportioned five foot eight yourself with perky tits and a flat stomach.

My husband ticks all of those boxes (apart from teeth, he's missing one of his molars due to antics as a student). Didn't tick all of them when I met him though - he was under 30, renting in a shared house, smoker (he stopped two weeks after we started seeing each other), lower salary etc.

Not for sale though!

It’s almost my husband but he’s too young and too short 😂
Actually those were the two compromises, he’s younger than me and the first man I’ve dated under 6ft, who knew widening the net would be so lucrative!