Nursery is absolutely obsessed with mud and mess

[ineedaninstructionmanuel]

AIBU to think there's a limit between encouraging children to play freely and encouraging them to make a mess?

I don't mind a bit of mud but today he is absolutely encrusted in it. He was apparently rolling in a puddle. His jacket is soaking wet and completely filthy. I don't mind a bit of natural mess (most of his nursery clothes are paint stained handmedowns anyway) but this is over the top.

Since he started they have started to send out more and more tweets about creativity and mess being linked. They also tweeted this week a photo of one of the play areas which was totally trashed- lentils and beans poured on the floor, sticks everywhere, things trodden on and mashed in.

My older DS went there and they were much more sensible and realistic... AIBU to have a word?

That sounds like my idea of hell. If the ness is s byproduct of creativity then I suppose it's justified but otherwise they really should be teaching children a bit of responsibility and cleanliness.

My two DC are at an outdoor Kindergarten. Encrusted is accurate. It's one of the reasons for choosing a forest school setting for us. It's what nursery clothes are for, tbh.

I just wish schools would ditch uniform until Primary 3 at least.

Send them in waterproofs!! I do with mine. They are outdoors whatever the weather and I wouldn't want in any other way.

I well remember when DS1 was about 3, being on a walk in the woods with DS1 stood in the middle of a muddy puddle that had gone well over the tops of his boots and having the time of his life.

An elderly gent walked past, smiling but then said sadly, "a boy becomes a man when he starts avoiding puddles"

Why would you inflict that on a nursery aged child? They're not forcing him to roll in a puddle but if he wants to that's great imo.

Not all kids love making mess though.

You couldn't get DS near anything in the 'messy play' area despite encouragement from the staff.
He was diagnosed with ASD 5 years later. It's not always about the cleanliness of things for kids it's about the texture of certain things.

I think the waterproof suggestion is the best way to go about it.

@Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar that made me snort my wine all over my phone

I emailed into DD’s nursery last week. I’d had to wash her coat once at the start of the week as it was filthy courtesy of the flipping mud kitchen and then again at the end as the coat was covered in paint.

After I washed the coat for the second time in 5 days I realised all the paint hadn’t come out. They had been painting outside (WTF why?) and no one had bothered to put an apron on DD.

The reply I received said basically the staff couldn’t keep an eye on all the kids all of the time and ensure my DD didn’t run off and get paint on themselves! I did get an acknowledgement that there should have been aprons though.

What also pisses me off is when they do painting indoors they don’t always put an apron on her then. I know this as every so often I see pictures on the nursery parent portal of DD painting with no apron. I’ve raised this a few time and now DD is better at not getting paint on herself but it still annoys me.

Messy play is fine if the kids have the proper aprons, if not they shouldn’t be doing it is my opinion.

Would love to know the waterproofs that stand up to sitting down in puddles to waist height.

Not much use then!

DS's do. They come right up to his armpits.

foof that's not a puddle, it's a pond

Sounds fab but im.very much a " the messier you are the more fun you have had" kinda person.

But my Dds went to pre school in hand me downs and whatever was reduced by 90 percent in Tesco.

Far to many years ahead with appearance being considered more important than anything else. Let them enjoy the short time they have to get filthy and have it not matter

I think there's a big difference between "have fun however you want and if that makes a mess, no problem" and "ok children, now its time to get fully covered in mud / paint and then strew lentils all over the floor"

In the first the mess is a side effect of having fun / discovering, but in the second its mess for mess's sake without any creativity, or it necessarily being that child's idea of fun

OP that nursery sounds like my idea of hell! It's one thing for kids to get messy and dirty and another to come home regularly caked in mud.

Also,not everyone has the facilities to wash and dry multiple changes of clothes every day. My DD is 9 now but we live in a 2 bed terrace with only a washer and no dryer. In the summer it's fine when there's good weather as stuff can line dry in a couple of hours but currently washing gets done in the evening and then hung on a drying rack to dry overnight but there's no guarantee everything will be fully dry by the time we are leaving in the morning. If DD was still in nursery and needed upwards of 10/15 outfits a week as well as multiple coats/puddle suits then I'd have to buy a load of extra stuff just to keep up with the nursery clothing demands and washing cycles! Not everyone can afford to keep doing that and the nursery should be mindful of the extra work they are giving parents if they are doing activities that are requiring more than one full change of clothes in a day, multiple times a week .

When DD was in nursery we still lived in Spain and there most nurseries ask parents to provide a pinafore/coverall for their child. If the nursery is attached to a school then they will usually ask that it is in the school colours but otherwise they don't put any restrictions on them. When DD was in nursery I would send her pinafore into nursery on Mondays and it would be sent home on Fridays to be washed over the weekend. I would send a bag in with her on Monday to go on her peg with a spare set of clothes and practically every week that bag came home again on Friday, untouched because any mess/dirt was confined to her pinafore only so regular clothing changes were unnecesary. If her pinafore was unwearable for any reason, the teacher would always have a few spare ones knocking around to replace it with (and most parents would send a spare one with their child's change of clothes and have at least one or two at home too)

I think it’s really important to do the messy stuff... to feel and experience the world. Not everyone feels that way so just send your child to a different nursery.

Can anyone explain how exactly a child benefits mentally/psychologically from creating a huge mess? I am not talking about the usual getting messy while playing regular games or playing outside or painting. But the kind of caked-in-mud-chocolate-and sodding glitter-all at once-like-a-rabid-dog-because-it's-fun mess. If grown-ups encourage it, why don't they do it to themselves too in order to have fun and cheer up on a rainy (muddy) day? Then clean it all up themselves? Because cleaning all that shit up is fun too...

DD and DS2s Nursery do this, although they do provide all in one waterproof suits so it’s not their jackets getting mucky.

Messy play is all about textures and exploring enviroments blah blah and is fun, however mud play and puddle sitting isn't controlled messy play it is ridiculous imo and parents have to deal with mess when they get home. I think if nurseries were responsible for the washing and drying of mud cakes clothes they would change their minds about out of control messy play.

I'd much rather they did it at nursery - at least you're not having to hoover it up 😂 as other posters have said, get a waterproof all in one splash suit and waterproof Velcro fastening boots and let him enjoy himself! I lived in a boiler suit until I was about 8 and loved every minute of it.

I think if nurseries were responsible for the washing and drying of mud cakes clothes they would change their minds about out of control messy play.

Ours are, it’s their suits that get mucky and dirty not the kids clothes. Which is the best way imo, dumping parents with soggy, mucky uncomfortable children really isn’t fair.

Fair nuff notreally that is how it should be.

I completely agree MrsJayy I’m really shocked at this thread which seems to not have any other nurseries which do it! Surely if they’re encouraging messy outdoor play then they should at least provide the coveralls needed instead of sending them home dirty and uncomfortable?

You would think eh.

No common sense! Likely a lack of funding too, although our Nursery bought the suits by fundraising for them and wellies.

I love how split the opinion is on this thread. I get the messy play thing, but I agree there is a line. There is also an age at which kids need to understand consequences - if I roll around in this puddle, I'm going to be uncomfortable afterwards, but also - If I make a mess - I need to help to tidy up.