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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery is absolutely obsessed with mud and mess

197 replies

ineedaninstructionmanuel · 22/11/2017 18:51

AIBU to think there's a limit between encouraging children to play freely and encouraging them to make a mess?

I don't mind a bit of mud but today he is absolutely encrusted in it. He was apparently rolling in a puddle. His jacket is soaking wet and completely filthy. I don't mind a bit of natural mess (most of his nursery clothes are paint stained handmedowns anyway) but this is over the top.

Since he started they have started to send out more and more tweets about creativity and mess being linked. They also tweeted this week a photo of one of the play areas which was totally trashed- lentils and beans poured on the floor, sticks everywhere, things trodden on and mashed in.

My older DS went there and they were much more sensible and realistic... AIBU to have a word?

OP posts:
MsWanaBanana · 22/11/2017 20:15

viques - To my mind Mother Nature provides fallen leaves, snow, muddy puddles , beaches and waves purely as free stuff for kids to enjoy. Completely agree with you. I think there's so many toys, electronics and gadgets for kids to play with nowadays that we forget about the pure simple pleasures we had when we were kids. Agree a puddle suit and wellies are a good idea but not a necessity. Let them have fun and mess around and be kids. At least they're making a mess at nursery that you won't have to clean up!

Urubu · 22/11/2017 20:18

viques that is a poetic way of looking at it, it like it

Looneytune253 · 22/11/2017 20:18

To be honest it’s really good for them, at least he’s not doing it at home and send a puddlesuit and a good change of clothes if it makes you feel better but it’s obviously how they do things there so maybe think about going somewhere else rather than mentioning it. It’s not a bad thing. If they’re not letting him get changed afterwards and he’s getting cold etc then maybe mention about the clothes/puddlesuit.

ElspethTascioni · 22/11/2017 20:18

My daughter's nursery has a forest school and they spend half of every day outside - she absolutely loves it and there is a lot of mud involved! But inspire of this she hardly ever comes home with dirty clothes because they make sure they're all in puddle suits and wellies - and her puddle suit comes home for a proper wash only every few weeks or so. There really is no reason for washing basketfuls of clothing on a daily basis if nursery are organising themselves well enough!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/11/2017 20:21

Our nursery supplied waterproof suits for outdoor play. But for toddlers a decent coat, that can be bunged in their washing machine and the drier with the minimum of fuss, is an essential anyway.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 22/11/2017 20:22

I have worked in private nurseries for years and messy play is not a new thing. Put in ( old ) plenty of changes of clothes and let your child enjoy theirselves and try to relax a little about the mess

You understand that somebody has to wash all those changes of clothes on top of their normal laundry? My daughter had 15 extra changes this week 15.

Orangepear · 22/11/2017 20:22

I'm jealous, dd's nursery isn't even letting them outside at the moment, when I pick her up they keep saying it's too cold!

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/11/2017 20:24

Dd wore togz all in ones. They were brilliant. They come in padded and unlined versions. You can also pick second hand ones up on eBay. Great quality.

TheFifthKey · 22/11/2017 20:26

The nursery my DS and DD have been to seem to do plenty of messy play, water play, outside play etc without them ever coming home soaked to the skin or thickly coated in mud. The very odd change of clothes, yes, and that's totally to be expected, but I agree with the OP that excessive muck and mess isn't necessary to enjoy messy play. They've both played mud kitchens without getting jackets and shoes completely covered. And I'm not uptight about it, I just don't see the need for huge amounts of mud and dirt everywhere.

SkaPunkPrincess · 22/11/2017 20:27

I LOVE that nurseries/preschools do this. means I don't have to do messy stuff at home

PurplePillowCase · 22/11/2017 20:28

orange that's just silly. too cold? in uk? in november?
never heard of coats and hats?

my dc went to forest school with nursery once a week. outside from 9:30-5. in all weathers except high winds.
you just layer up and all is well.
we had a good rain suit from didriksons which was brilliant and kept clothes and child reasonably clean and dry.

MsJudgemental · 22/11/2017 20:32

Phonics are not a fad.

Madreputa · 22/11/2017 20:36

The words messy play make my skin crawl. I hate it when grown-ups encourage children to get messy for the sake of it. Of course these people never clean up the horrid mess they encouraged the children to make, instead they expect the hapless mum or a cleaner to do the job. It basically teaches the children to be disrespectful of the people who clean up after them.
I don't have a problem with kids getting messy by playing, it's when an adult urges them on to do it on purpose that makes me lose my shit.

Devonishome1 · 22/11/2017 20:42

It sounds like you’ve chosen a great Nursery for your child.

Nyx1 · 22/11/2017 20:48

Purple "my dc went to forest school with nursery once a week. outside from 9:30-5"

woah. We have that locally but it's nowhere near that long!! Have I got this right - the kids are outside all that time?!

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 22/11/2017 20:49

My DS's nursery's idea of fun looked like this. No mess at all. If you dropped a lentil Shock you'd be getting the child size broom and sweeping it up yourself.

I'm really not sure which is worse- chaos or ORDER.

Nursery is absolutely obsessed with mud and mess
PurplePillowCase · 22/11/2017 20:51

yep. outside all day.
they have a canopy for when it's really pouring down and take flasks of hot chocolate when it's cold.
it's brilliant. the dc love it. the dc sleep really well after being out all day.

Nyx1 · 22/11/2017 21:09

Purple, that's interesting, mine wouldn't cope well with that.

Perhaps I should think about running one to get out of being in an office 9-5, if this a popular thing Grin

GottadoitGottadoit · 22/11/2017 21:31

Do you not feel like a bit of a killjoy OP?

Mittens1969 · 22/11/2017 21:31

I blame Peppa Pig loving muddy puddles lol. My DDs have never particularly liked mud, especially DD2. They did like paint though. I never had an issue with it at nursery. I just put it all in the washing machine afterwards.

illuminousopptomist · 22/11/2017 21:33

GrinYANBU that nursery sounds bonkers! I bloody hate mud kitchens too! Sorry that WBU

flingingmelon · 22/11/2017 21:35

Our nursery is like this. DS loves it. As long as no one is expecting me to send him in wearing pristine shoes and a spotless parka every morning I have no problem with it at all.

When else do they get chance to do this? My DM trained me to get a bit twitchy when too much mess was involved so I find it almost impossible to let DS get filthy, they won’t let him when he gets to school at school, see above for darling granny’s attitude and DH is at work many weekends.

Mollieben · 22/11/2017 21:37

Sounds great. Provide an all in one waterproof if you are worried about the clothes. We love the mud kitchen at our nursery!

PipGirl404 · 22/11/2017 21:44

Mess and muddiness drives me up the wall. When I send DD to nursery clean and dry and she comes back caked in mud/paint/crap it honestly kills my soul.

That being said, she makes no mess at home and (yes I'm a terrible mother) we do very very little messy play as I absolutely hate it, so I don't say anything about the mess at nursery as I know she enjoys it and at the end of the day that's what matters.

She won't be in nursery forever so it's just a case of gritting our teeth & baring it.

AiryFairy1 · 22/11/2017 21:51

Our kindergarten has them outside every morning for 1.5 hours ... walking running climbing den building, so yes there is substantial mud some/ most days and they are required to arrive in full waterproofs and wellies. Being outside in all weathers does them wonders, so I’m all for that, but correctly dressed for the occasion. And the teachers do say to not come to Kindy in their Sunday best! (Just been to a lovely parents evening so have lots of warm and fuzzy feels for them all- they do an amazing job Halo