AIBU to think Friends With Benefits, is a bit tacky?

[brasty]

Maybe I am? But this seems to be much more common amongst young people. It all just makes me feel a bit "disgusted of Tunbridge Wells".

All of these things are fine. All of them are valid. None of them are tacky or dangerous or wrong Someone wanting something different to you is not a threat to you or your way of living

Amen to that

Prince Harry could have spent his entire life having F’s WB, but even he wants to get married, he doesn’t have to

Course he doesn't but ...... I imagine there's more family pressure on him to do so than there is on me to do so ..... Mum and Dad, despite being Mr And Mrs Conventional (two kids and a Ford Sierra kinda thing); for always allowing me to make my choices and for defending my right to do so, I love you both. Forever.

And anyway, what on earth do HRH Prince Harry's nuptials have to do with the price of fish?

Nope, women are constantly told that they want a longterm relationship. Because, actually, we don't. really. It does us no favours. this insistence on it being our ultimate goal is all about selling us a lifetime of housework and deference to men. The verbal and psychological battering handed out to women who won't marry or live with a man is more about them not knowing their place than anything else. Because the sight of a free, happy, sexually autonomous woman is really dangerous as it Gives Other Women Ideas - like there being more to life than servicing one man for the majority of it.

We all want

Im absolutely sick to back teeth of comments on this thread having the arrogance to tell me what I supposedly want. There is no 'We all' Different people want different things.

The comparison with Prince Harry is absolutely ridiculous

The comparison with Prince Harry is absolutely ridiculous

Now come on. I mean aren't we all supposed to look at ourselves with quiet introspection and decide because some chap has got engaged we are all secretly yearning to adopt the marital state?

Maybe the comparison should be with Meghan not Harry. She didn't have a FWB. She got a real live Prince to marry her, she's living in a Palace. She'll almost be a Princess. Every girls dream isn't

You don't get all that with a FWB 😂

Nope, women are constantly told that they want a longterm relationship. Because, actually, we don't. really

I honestly don't know any women who don't want to get married at some point. Most do. Of course, that's not for everyone, but on the whole most women do want ltr/marriage in their lifetime. Perhaps if a woman is divorced/widowed, she may not want to go through it all again, but in general, it's pretty rare for a woman to never want to settle down. I've no judgment on either choice though.

I honestly don't know any women who don't want to get married at some point. Most do

Hi formerbabe, my name's Stevie and I'm pleased to meet you Now you know at least one

I've never been married. I've never wanted to be married.

Well I said, 'most do'. Of course, I'm perfectly aware that not every single woman wants to get married. I think you could at least concede that you are unusual in that respect. Not that there's anything wrong in that.

Hi formerbabe,

I don't know if I'm unusual or not as I don't , as a rule, question other women on their marital preferences. However, I do concede that, amongst my colleagues and friends, there are more who are married/have been married than those who have stayed single. Having said that, those who have never married certainly form a significant minority.

I'm a tad eccentric and offbeat, I guess. I'll take unusual

Nope, women are constantly told that they want a longterm relationship. Because, actually, we don't. really. It does us no favours. this insistence on it being our ultimate goal is all about selling us a lifetime of housework and deference to men. The verbal and psychological battering handed out to women who won't marry or live with a man is more about them not knowing their place than anything else. Because the sight of a free, happy, sexually autonomous woman is really dangerous as it Gives Other Women Ideas - like there being more to life than servicing one man for the majority of it

I agree with this wholeheartedly. From a really really young age, girls are indoctrinated to believe that they want to grow up and marry or shackle themselves to a man. It's no surprise that there are so many women on this thread who are utterly convinced that those of us who would never marry/enter a LTR are somehow deluding ourselves.

I wasn't particularly bothered about getting married. What I wanted was the legal protection which I got.

If it had been possible to co-habit and have the same degree of legal protection I would have done so.

I honestly don't know any women who don't want to get married at some point.

Some questions - don't have to answer them of course but I am wondering the following

How old are you?
How wide is your circle socio-economically and culturally?
How well do you know EVERY woman you know?

I could introduce you to several women who are not married/in a ltr and never want to be.

I'm a divorcee but frankly I wish I'd known I had more options (I married young) and I ensure my dd knows that.

I'm a divorcee but frankly I wish I'd known I had more options (I married young) and I ensure my dd knows that.

I absolutely feel this way. I am married and love my dh very much, but I wish when I was younger I had not felt so much pressure to get into a long-term monogamous relationship. It would have saved me a lot of mistakes. I think if I had felt more confident in deciding what I wanted and expressing that I would have been much happier.

I know I model my life on Prince Harry's as closely as possible.

Ohhh Jaques there we disagree there's a whole other thread on that elsewhere

Nope, women are constantly told that they want a longterm relationship. Because, actually, we don't. really. It does us no favours. this insistence on it being our ultimate goal is all about selling us a lifetime of housework and deference to men. The verbal and psychological battering handed out to women who won't marry or live with a man is more about them not knowing their place than anything else. Because the sight of a free, happy, sexually autonomous woman is really dangerous as it Gives Other Women Ideas - like there being more to life than servicing one man for the majority of it

Couldn’t have said it better. I married at 22 because I felt I should. I’ve had another long term relationship since my marriage ended and there was definite pressure to marry him and an idea that this is what I should want. We even got engaged although in retrospect neither of us were keen on the idea and thankfully we never tied the knot. I really got nothing out of either relationship other than a lot of ‘wifework’ (and my awesome DC)

Ohhh Jaques there we disagree there's a whole other thread on that elsewhere

On the legal protection thing?

Yeah but hindsight is a wonderful thing. At 21 all the advice if you wanted kids/home ownership etc was "get married".

I don’t want to get married ever, there’s lots of women that don’t.

Insured about there being pressure to marry and settle down
Not too long ago living together caused people options gossip as did divorce.

I think there are some misconceptions that women want to get married and men don't, that all men want to sleep around and never settle down or be with robe woman
I don't believe this. I don't think that given the choice most men want to live entirely alone and only ever be with a woman for sex and a different women every time.
Likewise lots of women are happy with a fwb.
I really don't care what anyone does or how many sexual partners someone has had.

Robe woman=one woman

Exactly I have male friends that have had the piss taken out of them - mainly by other men - because casual sex isn't for them, they like being in committed relationships and tend to fall for people they sleep with.

I do know a woman who works as an escort.
She is very busy and tends to work within a very nice area.
She escorts men to dinners and corporate events. The men obviously feel it looks better for them if they go with a partner. Sometimes sex is involved but it always involves the partnering bit.

I know a Oman who has a fwb and they go to events together.
The main difference is that men are paying for this scenario whereas the omen aren't.
The woman who has a fwb is divorced and wants to avoid all the heartache she encountered after divorcing. She also has children and doesn't want them to be involved with her fwb.

Bloody hell typos
Oman=woman

We only got married for the paperwork. We had dd and had just bought a house. I was the higher earned and wanted to make sure dd and DH would have security if something happened to me (my mum died quite young, so I do think about it). We did wills and got married. I think the marriage is optional, but it is the cheapest and easiest way to get a relationship formally recognised for next of kin and such like, which is what I wanted. We just went to the registry office and signed the stuff. It wasn't a romantic thing at all and I've never been particularly keen on it on a romantic level. Just practical.

I don't really understand why people who don't have kids or shared assets are so keen to get married. What's the point.