AIBU to think Friends With Benefits, is a bit tacky?

[brasty]

Maybe I am? But this seems to be much more common amongst young people. It all just makes me feel a bit "disgusted of Tunbridge Wells".

Then don't. Just because you don't approve of it doesn't make it a bad thing.

For some people having sex outside of marrige devalues it.

That was FWB that wasn’t a relationship if you think that’s a relationship I feel sorry for you.

How does it devalue sex? Do you realise sex is a natural thing, people have put a value on it.

I think shagging different people every week devalues sex not friends with benefits

I still don't get how FwB is devaluing sex but a ONS isn't??!

Of course it was a relationship.

When at University I went out with a man about my age. Never met his family and we met up about twice a week, did fun things, and often had sex. I did not do any coupley things and did not think we had a long term future. But I wasn't looking for a Husband. It was fun, but it was a relationship

This is what I'd call a FwB

How was it a relationship?

What do you expect from relationships?

I can never accept that sex is like scratching an itch. That just devalues it so much.

But meeting a stranger and falling in to bed on pure lust is somehow more ‘valuable’ than fwb?

Why would you call it a FWB? Because we were not going to get married??

You think it was a relationship, some of is think FwB.

You think FwB is tacky, some of us don't.

Swings & roundabouts

Because you wasn’t a couple, you met up to have sex basically.

Once again on AIBU it basically comes down to different definitions of an issue (i.e. what do we mean by "relationship"?) and people with very different world views (i.e. is sex an inherently emotional encounter or not?)

It was a relationship because we enjoyed spending time together, we had a commitment if you like to see each other regularly. Struggling to see why you would not see it as a relationship? I know it was not a serious one though. I only introduced anyone to my family who I thought I might actually settle down with.

Yeah & some people just being way too judgy about things that actually have nothing to do with them 😬

Why would you call it a FWB? Because we were not going to get married??

Let’s see.

You hung out a couple of times a week doing fun things.
Didn’t do coupley things.
Didn’t meet family.
Didn’t intend for it to be long term.

Sounds exactly like a FWB to me.

No we didn't meet up to have sex. We met up to see each other, we went out, had meals out, etc. And yes often had sex. We were young, no kids so we both wanted sex a fair bit.

I saw one of my FwB every Thursday night for a year. It was a 'committment' until we both got bored. Never introduced him to my folks 🤔 Sounds similar to me

I can never accept that sex is like scratching an itch

Super. That's your personal opinion. That doesn't mean you get to use words like tacky about people who don't feel the same as you.

Sex with my FwBs was exactly like scratching an itch.

Different strokes and all that....

Coupley things are only when you settle down i.e, going to Sainsburys, etc. They are pretty boring things that you wouldn't do otherwise. I was a student in a Halls of Residence, I didn't do ANY thing ever that could be called coupley. I went to lectures, wrote essays, and went out having fun, that was more less it.

TBF, OP doesn't think it was a FwB arrangement but I wonder what the bloke would say....

Exactly.

Going to Sainsbury’s is not a couplet thing ffs

Coupley

I didn't do anything that ever that could be called coupley

Erm, so you were basically FwB then????

I have feelings for my FWB. He's a good friend. I don't love him. I don't want him to take me for dinner. I don't want to meet his family and friends. I don't even want him to stay the night. I'm never going to be in a conventional relationship with him. I wouldn't want it. Neither would he

What does suit us however is meeting once a week for some great sex.