Would you be annoyed if a class mate told your 7 year old that Father Christmas didn't exist?

[nickEcave]

My daughter is 7 1/2 (Year 3). She is right on the cusp of not believing in Father Christmas any longer. Her older sister (10) knows that we fill up the stockings and I have no problem with my younger DD no longer believing. My problem is that if we confirm that Father Christmas isn't real then she will immediately tell her class-mates. (She will do this even if we ask her not to as she is extremely impulsive) We moved to a new school relatively recently which is much more MC than her last school and lots of her friends parents are a bit PFB about their kids. Most of her friendship group don't have older siblings so she is already perceived as a bit more "sophisticated" (in a bad way!) by the parents. In my shoes would you keep "Father Christmas" going another year for the sake of giving her class-mates another year of innocent wonder?

You almost seem to delight in it.

Even at 4 years old I knew the notion of Santa was ridiculous and this is because I was brought up by a single mum in poverty and some years there was no santa, or food, or presents. It doesn't take much to lose any kind of belief when you are poor and see other families getting thngs that you never do.
I think the whole buiness of lying to your children about a non existent supernatural being is ridiculous, I never discussed Santa with my own son and he never believed. neither of us lost anything.
I think it would be better on the whole to encourage your children to make a gift donation to a children's charity.

It is a topic of discussion in my 8yo daughter's classroom at the moment. Quite a few of her friends don't believe but she is adamant he is real because she heard sleigh bells and his footsteps last year!

My dd told all her classmates about sex and childbirth at the age of 5. She'21 now, and there are people who still give me dirty looks in Morrisons. Compared to that, Father Christmas truthing is small beer!

It is compeltely up to individual families to keep their own beliefs and traditions going. You absolutely have no right to expect other people to keep up some sort of charade on your behalf. So if you want to tell your child, go ahead. And if others want to "keep the magic alive" then it's up to them to do that.

My two are 4 and 7 - they know that mummy and daddy buy the presents as I think they should know where the presents come from but we tell them that they are all then sent to Santa and he makes sure they have been good and if they have he brings all the presents back on Christmas Eve plus one from him. They seem happy with this. I did read a lovely thing to do when your child finds out about Santa. You tell them that they are now old enough to be let in on the Christmas secret and that it's now their turn to choose someone to be Santa for and you help them choose a present for that person - I thought that was really cute! So it doesn't crush their dreams too much lol

Dd1 was told by an older friend when she was in year 2. It was a bit sad that she stopped believing so young, but let's be honest, if they're reasonably bright and actually stop to think about it they do actually know that nobody can go round the whole world in one night.

Dd2 is 7 and in year 3 now. She told me last night that she isn't sure if Santa is real. I assume that some of the others in her class have stopped believing and are telling the others. I confirmed that the Santa's in shops and other places aren't real because the real Santa is far too busy to do all that at Christmas. She was happy with that and seemed very happy to then talk about the real Santa and the fake Santa's. I don't know if she'll still believe at Christmas, but it's not the end of the world if she doesn't.

Some of the kids I teach still believed in year 7!!! One of my friends has a 13yo ds and she said the other day that she doesn't know if he still believes or not. Of course he doesn't! He hasn't for about 5 years and is just humouring her, and likes to pretend with his friends that they all believe, in an ironic teenage way.

Wouldn't bother me either but Santa is just a delivery man here and they knew very early on it was a Christmas tale rather than fact.

If others chose to lie to their children then they can't expect others to do the same.

You absolutely have no right to expect other people to keep up some sort of charade on your behalf.

I've never thought of it in these terms, but I think that's spot on.

I wouldn't be bothered at all but ask any younger children weren't told.

My 9 year old daughter absolutely still believes so yes, keep it going so your little darling doesn't ruin Christmas for others that still believe.

DD realised quite early on and asked me outright if FC was real. I told her the truth, explained that she was now part of the grown secret and that I didn't want her to spoil it for any of her friends who still wanted to believe.
I wouldn't have been upset if another child had told her but I know that the parents of some of her classmates would have been upset.

I’ve never once heard a child complain that Christmas is destroyed or ruined because the gifts they’ve got have been bought and paid for by their parents instead of some unknown fat man. I think it’s parents who feel it’s ruined because they invest a lot of time and energy into building the story up that it can feel deflating when a few weeks before it’s taken out if their hands and they find they truth from wherever. They didn’t know the previous year would be the last they get to see their child believe the lie and feel pissed while come Christmas morning the children are just happy to have gifts and be with family.

Dd was a similar age. I’ve just asked her if Christmas has been destroyed for her and she said “my Wii was all the more special knowing you had worked hard and saved hard to buy it for me, if I’d complained that Christmas was destroyed because I knew you had bought it rather than getting it for free from a funny fat man then I wouldn’t deserve you saving all year to buy me nice things”

I wouldn't be annoyed. How on earth could a grown adult be annoyed about what a child tells another child I just tell my DC to make up their own minds about what they believe, not rely on other young children to keep the 'secret'.

Blind belief does not = "imagination"
Having an active imagination includes suspending disbelief to enjoy fiction and games.
Kids who know that Santa isn't real still get to use their imaginations at christmas, if you don't get that then you don't understand what being imaginative means.

My kids knew that Harry Potter and The Hobbit were fiction and still thoroughly enjoyed them. Same for Santa!

I was 10 when I finally accepted the truth, but I still desperately wanted to believe. I just knew I couldn't avoid the facts any longer-although my mum had done a good job of deflecting suspicio n s.. ds has just started juniors and as far as I'm aware, he and his mates still believe. Of course, this could just be cos he sees that grown ups don't get presents.

One solution?
metro.co.uk/2016/12/12/here-is-the-most-magical-way-to-explain-santa-to-your-kids-6316985/

Laying here with DS 12 still a believer and elder DS got to 13 still believing.

I can remember telling my best friend Santa wasn’t real when I was about 7 (her mum just pulled me to one side and said she wanted my friend to believe for a bit longer) I never mentioned it again. Think my 5 year old had just about sussed (only child so no sibling influence). Try and keep it going for another year.

Getmeoutofhere. Your DD sounds a lovely child.

I was imaginative with responses until they told me they didn't believe anymore.
A friend at dd school, different faith said you don't still believe in FC do you? The whole class said yes, and the other girl looked rather stupid.
They were about the same age.

Ds2 was 8 Ds1 was 10 and we had to tell dd before she started secondary at 11

If you want her to continue believing come up with some good answers for when she questions you.
If you don't want to continue, talk to her and please make sure she isn't that girl who wants to ruin it for others.

More misery caused by the Santa thing . It’s not true you know and lots of families don’t make their children believe this story ( and why should they since it’s not true?). So the asking small children to tell storues to other small children because the other small children have been told tales by their parents who pretended it was true...., it all gets a bit complicated doesn’t it? Surely by watching TV they must realise it’s not true?

As pp said, how can you be annoyed by what a child tells another child when at school? Kids tell each other so many things (‘i can easily spend 30 mins under water’ type stories), truths or non truths about Santa are the same. Some kids will believe them, others won’t. It’s a natural progression in my opinion, and I was aware that dcs would stop believing in Santa at some point. Never bothered me and we all still love xmas the same

"and please make sure she isn't that girl who wants to ruin it for others. "

Not the OPs or her DD's job!
If you don't want Christmas "ruined" for your kids, don't make the fun dependant on not knowing the truth

In our house Santa has never been dependant on belief: Santa comes to the adults too and it's a fun story/magical activity either way

Knowing the truth "ruins" Christmas for kids with parents who make it shit

I would be really worried about a 12 year old who still believed in Father Christmas.

And it is absoulutely not the responsibility of a child to preserve adult's "magic"