Would you be annoyed if a class mate told your 7 year old that Father Christmas didn't exist?

[nickEcave]

My daughter is 7 1/2 (Year 3). She is right on the cusp of not believing in Father Christmas any longer. Her older sister (10) knows that we fill up the stockings and I have no problem with my younger DD no longer believing. My problem is that if we confirm that Father Christmas isn't real then she will immediately tell her class-mates. (She will do this even if we ask her not to as she is extremely impulsive) We moved to a new school relatively recently which is much more MC than her last school and lots of her friends parents are a bit PFB about their kids. Most of her friendship group don't have older siblings so she is already perceived as a bit more "sophisticated" (in a bad way!) by the parents. In my shoes would you keep "Father Christmas" going another year for the sake of giving her class-mates another year of innocent wonder?

[DowneasterAlexa]

There does seem to be a certain chav Hun mentality about preserving the magic of FC.

[RaquelM]

Greypaw, this is hilarious! A couple of years ago I dared to write on my Facebook how we explained to our daughter the origins of Father Christmas (and why he doesn't exist now). The reaction was unbelievable! The number of friends that accused me of destroying our daughters imagination and happy childhood... I agree, there is a limit to that game. Funny how adults take it more seriously than children

[Hiddeninplainsight]

It is amazing the mess all of these lies can create. And most amazing that parents are the ones making that mess. I honestly think that if kids were allowed to make the decision about when they stop believing (e.g. were not told blatant out right lies by their responsible adults), then all children could enjoy the fantasy as long as they wanted, and when they started to question, could be given the relief of knowing their reasoning and doubts were correct. A child asks if something is true, you ask them what they believe. They say they believe that father Christmas/the tooth fairy whatever is real, you say well there you are. They say they don't, and you tell them the truth. But with all of this, it can be couched within the magic of giving and family and fun. So nothing is lost.

[Ttbb]

No. I would expect a seven year old to be able to figure it out themselves at any rate.

[Greypaw]

Oh the pressure at my DS's school to keep this kind of thing under wraps. I've always taken the atheistic approach to Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy etc and encouraged the children to decide for themselves what the evidence is and whether they believe in it, but that some people believe so it's rude to tell those people it's not true in case it upsets them.

However earlier this year there was a FURIOUS post on his year group's Facebook page from a parent demanding to know whose child it was that told her child the tooth fairy didn't exist and couldn't we all just make the effort and preserve the magic for even if it was for just ONE MORE YEAR (it was very shouty). I questioned my DS to find out if it had been him and he said it wasn't, but he was clearly very put out that his tooth fairy only gave him money under the pillow, whereas this other child's tooth fairy left money, wrote a letter and left a trailing of 'fairy dust' across the room. I mean, I'll preserve someone else's child's magic and everything, but not it it means I have to up my game to that extent.

[RaquelM]

I've told our daughter some people play the "pretend Santa" game and we shouldn't spoil it. However, children talk a lot when mums are not around and they'd hear lot of things we'd prefer them not to hear. I try not to get annoyed but talk things through when she's got questions

[Hiddeninplainsight]

I do not know how anyone could be angry at a child for telling the truth to another child. And I also think it is very sad that anyone could think that 'the magic' or 'Christmas' or 'innocence' is ruined by knowing the truth. Children do not understand why you would lie about such a thing (I'm with them on this). I LOVE Christmas. I do not remember ever believing in Santa. My DD LOVES Christmas. She told me that she didn't think he was real at 4. I confirmed this, and told her that some people do believe in him, and that she should not tell other people he isn't real. She never has. One of her friends told my son when he was 4 that Santa wasn't real. I had a little chat with her and gently explained why it was best not to do that. My son didn't stop believing in Santa at that age because, like one of the posters above, his imagination was stronger than his analytic reasoning. He told me about a discussion he had with his friend last year (age 6) about the fact that other children were saying that Santa isn't real. But he and his friend decided they were wrong, and they believed in Santa. If he asked me, I would ask what he thought and go with that. But I wouldn't lie. I was shocked to read someone telling their child that if they didn't believe then Santa wouldn't come. How awful is that for a child. It puts them in a horrendous position. For me, that is a parent trying to blackmail their child into believing something which just isn't true.

Christmas is NOT ruined if you do not believe in Santa.
Children telling the truth is nothing for any adult to be annoyed about.
This is supposed to be about the kids, not the adults imposing something on their kids!

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I wouldn’t confirm anything for this year. If DD expresses her doubts to others at least it’s not you that spilt the beans. My kids are 7 and 9. They behave as if they believe but I’m not sure they actually do. Especially the older one...

[BlurryFace]

Eh, I remember at primary school we always swapped theories on whether FC was real like a bunch of little detectives. Susie woke up a bit and saw her dad place the stocking at the end of her bed, how come the presents in Tim's stocking aren't wrapped but ours are, FC wrapped Jake's stocking presents in the same wrapping paper his mum and dad had in the cupboard etc etc.

Some parents don't do FC at all, no harm one way or the other though she might actually want to keep the possibility of him being real, I know I did when I started to suspect.

[Morphene]

A friend at dd school, different faith said you don't still believe in FC do you? The whole class said yes, and the other girl looked rather stupid.

Oh great... I love to see a child humiliated for telling the truth...

[thegreylady]

8 yr old dgs had been doing a school project on Children in Need and told me that proved there was no Santa as Santa wouldn’t let there be poor children .

[BertrandRussell]

This is the only topic on which I am ever tempted to say "get a grip"!

And I speak as someone with a 16 year old and a 21 year old who are still firm believers........

[Humpsfor20yards]

Christmas will be ruined!

Christmas will be spoiled for children and their families!

My god, you guys!

[Ericaequites]

Let tell her tell her classmates. Christmas is a cultural holiday which shouldn't depend on belief in a magical being.

[TinselTwins]

"It's too close to Christmas to say anything now. "

As a Pp pointed out, what other time of year is the topic likely to come up?

[Ohmyfuck]

It's too close to Christmas to say anything now. 7 is still young. If she tells people it will spoil Christmas for the children and their families. That would be a shame. Hold off if you can.

[TinselTwins]

"And it is absoulutely not the responsibility of a child to preserve adult's "magic""

this is it isn't it? Where the parent is over invested in the child's belief (or using Santa as a lazy discipline tool) it's going to be rough/Rocky when the kid figures it out

[Lilliepixie]

We thought last year at 9 was pushing it, but at 10 there's still no questioning it!

[BertrandRussell]

I would be really worried about a 12 year old who still believed in Father Christmas.

And it is absoulutely not the responsibility of a child to preserve adult's "magic"

[TinselTwins]

"and please make sure she isn't that girl who wants to ruin it for others. "

Not the OPs or her DD's job!
If you don't want Christmas "ruined" for your kids, don't make the fun dependant on not knowing the truth

In our house Santa has never been dependant on belief: Santa comes to the adults too and it's a fun story/magical activity either way

Knowing the truth "ruins" Christmas for kids with parents who make it shit

[SmokyRobinson]

As pp said, how can you be annoyed by what a child tells another child when at school? Kids tell each other so many things (‘i can easily spend 30 mins under water’ type stories), truths or non truths about Santa are the same. Some kids will believe them, others won’t. It’s a natural progression in my opinion, and I was aware that dcs would stop believing in Santa at some point. Never bothered me and we all still love xmas the same

[Turquoise123]

More misery caused by the Santa thing . It’s not true you know and lots of families don’t make their children believe this story ( and why should they since it’s not true?). So the asking small children to tell storues to other small children because the other small children have been told tales by their parents who pretended it was true...., it all gets a bit complicated doesn’t it? Surely by watching TV they must realise it’s not true?

[gillybeanz]

I was imaginative with responses until they told me they didn't believe anymore.
A friend at dd school, different faith said you don't still believe in FC do you? The whole class said yes, and the other girl looked rather stupid.
They were about the same age.

Ds2 was 8 Ds1 was 10 and we had to tell dd before she started secondary at 11

If you want her to continue believing come up with some good answers for when she questions you.
If you don't want to continue, talk to her and please make sure she isn't that girl who wants to ruin it for others.

[Iwanttobe8stoneagain]

Getmeoutofhere. Your DD sounds a lovely child.

[Iwanttobe8stoneagain]

I can remember telling my best friend Santa wasn’t real when I was about 7 (her mum just pulled me to one side and said she wanted my friend to believe for a bit longer) I never mentioned it again. Think my 5 year old had just about sussed (only child so no sibling influence). Try and keep it going for another year.