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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU to ask MNHQ if we can have a trans discussion section?

435 replies

Skarossinkplunger · 21/11/2017 23:45

Out of the first 10 threads showing on my AIBU page 4 of them are trans threads. There is seriously no escaping, please can they have their own board?

OP posts:
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Ceto · 22/11/2017 10:27

No I don’t want one. It cuts across so many different areas, it shouldn’t be siloed.

Precisely the same could be said of Brexit, yet it has a separate forum.

hackmum · 22/11/2017 10:28

There are lots of topics that come up time and time again in AIBU. Parent and child parking, interfering MILs, lazy DHs, teachers picking on a child, unreasonable bridezillas etc. You could, I suppose, give them all their own boards. Or you could just accept that those are the things people want to post about and, if you're not interested, not click on them.

WitchesHatRim · 22/11/2017 10:28

It's posters like AssignedPerfectAtBirth type of attitude that I wouldnt comment in any of those threads.

I also know I'm not the only one.

Ceto · 22/11/2017 10:28

It's being proposed that people can self-declare their gender - there's an ongoing consultation - which might mean someone like Ian Brady, who now identifies as Lian, can declare himself female and be moved to a women's prison, with a lot of vulnerable women.

I can state really confidently that there is no possibility of Ian Brady being moved to a women's prison.

redbuss · 22/11/2017 10:31

For those who aren't frothing at the mouth about trans people having rights, listen to Rubes Walsh for an interesting view, or The Guilty Feminist podcast. they're diverse and trans inclusive and I find it a very refreshing listen after all the stuff on MN

AssignedPerfectAtBirth · 22/11/2017 10:33

Indeed Hack

But no, we should STFU and get back in the corner. It's bad enough when misogynists tell us this, which happens on a daily basis, but it makes me white hot furious when told to by women so intensely irritated by reading a line in Active telling us to get back in our box.

Fuck that

Vixky · 22/11/2017 10:34

Every time someone pro-trans ideology turns up I really hope they'll stay because I really want to understand their argument - I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

You definitely are not alone in it. Infact from what I have seen in my short time here, people seem to almost beg 'pro-trans' posters to stay and engage. Something that does not ever seem to happen. Its almost always 'bigots!' and poof.

redbuss · 22/11/2017 10:34

You're being utterly ridiculous Assigned

No one is saying you can't discuss, they are saying you can have your own board.

But sure, see discrimination where there isn't any

AssignedPerfectAtBirth · 22/11/2017 10:35

Of course witches. It's all my fault. It's because I'm not nice enough.

Tell that to the women who have to share prisons with convicted rapists

AssignedPerfectAtBirth · 22/11/2017 10:36

And I'm saying No red. And so are many other women.

Don't open the thread if you don't want to know.

RatRolyPoly · 22/11/2017 10:37

No one is saying you can't discuss, they are saying you can have your own board.

Feminists (or those discussing issues of women's rights) already have their own board, and the trans community haven't requested one. I urge you to ask instead for MN to move discussions of the impact of trans rights on women's rights to the already existing Feminism board.

Lancelottie · 22/11/2017 10:42

Being trans is genuinely being actively promoted by the materials issued to schools.

That sounds, even to me, like the sort of paranoia that raised fears of Clause 28 for 'promoting homosexuality', but it's different. Schools are, whether they mean to or not, massively misleading children.

It's worth knowing that, so that you have some idea how to respond when your child earnestly assures you that there are now scientifically known to be 76 genders, or that hormones can change your sex, or that there is such a thing as 'girl brain' separate from the brain that is inside a girl.

It's surely worth knowing, in case it happens to your family, that puberty blockers are not risk free, that cross-sex treatment usually means sterility, that surgery and breast-binding have harmful side effects that must be balanced against any benefit, and that it is by no means proven that transition has long-term beneficial effects.

How are people managing not to come across this in everyday life? I lead a pretty sheltered life, but it's already hit three family friends with teenagers, plus many others in the children's schools, plus the university sports teams and what was once the LGB society.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/11/2017 10:43

No one is saying you can't discuss, they are saying you can have your own board

Awww isnt that nice

The weird thing is that when ive been on site stuff its people saying

'Please can we have our own board'

Not

'Please give these people we dont want to listen to their own board'

Sallystyle · 22/11/2017 10:47

No way should we have our 'own little corner' to discuss these issues.

You might not agree with us, you might not want to read the threads, but women's rights and safety are being eroded by these issues and the proof is out there that it is happening. That is a fact.

People want us to have our own little section to discuss it? Fuck that.

We aren't going to shut up about it and we aren't going to be quiet about it. You are free to close the page if you don't want to read it.

Yes, if you hold a different opinion you're called ignorant, stupid or you don't care, by the same people.

Well, usually the people who hold a different opinion call us Anti-Trans and bigots. I am not sure if I have seen someone trying to debate the 'other side' actually address the issues we have.

redbuss · 22/11/2017 10:51

Bollocks Rufus. That's exactly where the Christmas board came from.

derxa · 22/11/2017 10:55

No there shouldn't be a separate section. MN is the one place where this issue is properly discussed. One day people will look back on the enabling of pre pubertal children to take harmful drugs to transition/the ruination of women's sport and the invasion of women's safe spaces as a scandal.

wheresmymojo · 22/11/2017 10:57

I don't agree with putting it in a sub-topic.

It's a very important issue for women and society at the moment whatever your viewpoint on it is. I wouldn't have been aware of many of the important changes taking place if it wasn't for MN threads.

All sorts of topics come up in chat and AIBU frequently that could belong to existing sub-topics. There is no need to read the threads.

I don't have children yet and obviously many threads on chat/AIBU involve children but I don't find it that difficult to just scroll past.

PencilsInSpace · 22/11/2017 11:00

Ceto - I can state really confidently that there is no possibility of Ian Brady being moved to a women's prison.

Can you explain how it could possibly be prevented if the law changes to permit anybody to get a GRC just by filling in a form?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/11/2017 11:00

redbus

Not bollocks at all

As i put in my post 'when i have been on site stuff'

I was not here when the Christmas board was started and so didnt see the posts about it

Otherwise i could have put 'it has never happened' didnt put that as i appreciated that stuff could have happened before my time

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 22/11/2017 11:01

Oooh apologies spelt your name wrong redbuss

Vixky · 22/11/2017 11:02

Can you explain how it could possibly be prevented if the law changes to permit anybody to get a GRC just by filling in a form?

Probably because Ian Brady is dead already.

ArcheryAnnie · 22/11/2017 11:03

There's a solution to this: if you don't want to read a thread, don't click on the thread.

PencilsInSpace · 22/11/2017 11:03

Doops! Grin Huntley then.

MrMeSeeks · 22/11/2017 11:03

Well, usually the people who hold a different opinion call us Anti-Trans and bigots. I am not sure if I have seen someone trying to debate the 'other side' actually address the issues we have.
Maybe because they're called stupid, ignorant or selfish?
As above by one poster!
I wouldn't bother posting as quite frankly every thread is hostile so what's the point.

ArcheryAnnie · 22/11/2017 11:04

Every time someone pro-trans ideology turns up I really hope they'll stay because I really want to understand their argument - I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

This, agreed. (Except they don't usually stay.)