To not want to do packed lunches?

[TickledOnion]

Just had DD1 (age 8) in tears because she desperately wants to move to packed lunches. It's all or nothing at her school. You sign up for a term of school dinners or packed lunches.

All her friends have packed lunches and they sit in a different dining hall to eat. So she has to sit with the same 2 girls everyday as they are the only ones is her year who are on school dinners. She doesn't dislike these girls but they aren't her close friends.

She likes some of the food but not the overcooked veg and there are a couple of days where she really doesn't like the meat bit of the meal.

My reasons are that I really, really hate making packed lunch. I am a single parent so it is just more mental load and more stuff to do each day. DDs are not particularly helpful around the house and I feel like I have enough to do nagging them to do every single thing every day. They do very little without being asked 20 times.

And it's a balanced meal that I don't have to think about. It's stuff like meatballs and pasta or bbq chicken and rice. Which means I don't feel guilty if I do pizza or fish fingers or beans on toast occasionally for tea.

And if I did it for one I'd probably have to do it for both.

So, AIBU to say no despite the tears?

Sick of seeing lone parents using this as an excuse - manage your time better

^This

No wonder lone parents get so slated if people can't be bothered to get their kid lunch.

Yeah it's a chore, but no worse than changing a bed, washing uniform or your own clothes for that matter.

I hate it too but I would rather they eat something amd it doesn't actually take that long to make. Mine get a combination of sandwich/soup/pasta & tomato sauce. I make a batch of tomato sauce and freeze it in little pots. I make quick cook pasta in morning (6 mins) and heat sauce. Job done

Come ON!

Time commitments? it takes LESS time to pull together a packed lunch than to do your teeth, or to write out a post on MN.

If OP is so stretched she can't make a sandwich for her DD, then tbh, she hasn't got time to MN.

Get her to maje her own - set a budget - help her with a shopping list for the week -help her shop - help make and pack 1st week - gradually reduce your imput - life skill plus parent win.

" I’d have to rethink evening meals to make sure they were more balanced."

The OP has mentioned this twice now. I suspect the answer here is "as long as every day isnt a pizza day, you're probably fine". My experience of school dinners though is certainly not that they were so carefully planned and healthy that they offset every dinner at home being chips.

I'm not a fan of packed lunches. Faffy. Either bland and repetitive or expensive to make varied. Open up a minefield of other issues such as offensive blemishes ob bananas... (it also doesn't help us that with soya issues, bread can only be bought from a specific supermarket and not with the rest of our weekly shop from the main supermarket, or topped up locally)

The DCs can stick with a varied, warm school dinner. I've done well enough on them for nearly 30 years

More seriously, it is worth asking about the segregation of lunch types. I encountered it at school which was irritating, and it was better when friends could sit together regardless of food source. I don't see any great reason why it's so important to separate children, and that seems to be the underlying reason for the request, rather than about eating school dinners.

Stop enforcing your martyrdom on others.

Oh behave. It's a fucking sandwich the OP CBA to make for a kid who wants to spend lunchtime with her friends to the point that she's in tears!

YABVU. Packed lunches don't have to be unhealthy.

Stop nagging your DC and write a chore rota. Make packed lunches the night before, it takes minutes.

You can still do pizza and fishfingers for tea. It doesn't matter!

For YOU, it doesn't sound like it would cause any issues. The OP has already said she is an overstretched single parent. Why would she say this if she felt it was a non-issue, and why are you so insistent on dismissing what she is saying? Just odd

What makes you think I;m not an overstretched single parent? And I have four to make, not one.

She may feel it is an issue, but the issue is that she can't be fucked. Which you know, is totally her choice. But you are just making up a load of nonsense to justify it. That is the odd bit? Why are you making excuses for someone who cannot be bothered to spend literally a couple of minutes to do something that would make their childs life a bit better?

No, of course she doesn't have to, its her choice. But lets cut the bullshit. She just can't be fucked, there isn't any more to it than that.

I think you sound very ignorant, so I guess we are even.

But you're also not telling the truth, whereas I am.

It took me less than 7 minutes to make four packed lunches, and that time included feeding the cat, making the babies breakfast, and shouting at a teenager.

Crikey, I'm impressed!!

Op I hate making packed lunches, and it takes me longer than superparent above, but I try and get it done while I am making tea. So 4 lunches (3 kids and mine) - ds's is the same every day because he has very restricted diet, Dd's and mine will be leftovers (pasta, soup, cold chicken with bread and butter), sandwiches or crackers or a sausage roll. Then a tub each of chopped fruit/veg and a yoghurt Then I have a box of additional 'bits' in the cupboard - flapjack, oatcakes, cereal bars, crisps etc, they get one of these and it's done.

It is a pain in the arse doing them (I always feel relieved on a Friday not to be making them!) but I want lunchtime to be a relaxing nice bit of the day for them so put up with it!

Haven’t RTFT but just wanted to add:

1. Making packed lunches is one of the worst things in my day and I hate it. I make 3 a day. The kids all like different things. Kill me now.

1. Even one lunch takes longer than 2 mins in my experience, because besides the sandwiches, you have to fill up the water bottle and put various fruit in (one for breaktime and one for lunchtime) oh, and find an accompanying snack that isn’t the ‘banned’ crisps (but I sometimes put them in anyway) and make sure it isn’t the same as the day before so they don’t get bored. Pain in the effing arse. So I understand OP not relishing it.

1. It’s cheaper than school lunches.

1. Primary school lunches are not fit to feed your child as their main meal on a daily basis, in my opinion. And I’ve seen lots with my own eyes. They are too small and I find the healthiness of them debatable, plus if they’re not very nice (sometimes aren’t) they won’t be eaten by the child anyway.

1. My tips for not getting the rage are: make the sandwiches the night before, lay out the lunchboxes the night before and put in the items that don’t need refrigerating. Less painful that way.

1. OP, personally I couldn’t say no to your DD because she’s upset.

I'm about as far from superparent as it gets, in fact I'm a right lazy fucker. Which is why I can say so is OP.

Bagels, fruit, a frube or cheesy thingy, a mini bun and a juice pouch. I can't see how it can possibly take more than a couple of minutes to do that, even if we tried.

Are we really saying the bar is so low that making one sandwich and throwing a few things in a box is some kind of difficult burden?

I'm an overstretched single parent, DS (9yo)makes his own lunch and has done since the start of KS2!

sometimes he even goes to the shop to buy rolls or other bits for his lunch too, it's very handy.

" And the suggestion that 8 year olds should make their own packed lunch hmm seriously? Are parents these days really so brutal?"

HAHAHA

yes, brutal. That's me

Oh, and he even does it in about 2 mins.

Ffs, if a 9yo can manage it with practically zero input from me...

Well yes. you are pretending there is some epic problem with making a packed lunch when there isn't. You're saying that its terribly difficult to shop for bread and wash a box.
You know that isn't true, so what's your angle?

YANBU - the school meal is perfectly adequate and it will do her good to sit with different people to her close friendship group. It is not like they are bullying her or she hates the food. If you are happy to pay for her lunch that is fine. Don't get this thread at all, so what if others can do a lunch in 2 seconds that is not the point.