To not want to do packed lunches?

[TickledOnion]

Just had DD1 (age 8) in tears because she desperately wants to move to packed lunches. It's all or nothing at her school. You sign up for a term of school dinners or packed lunches.

All her friends have packed lunches and they sit in a different dining hall to eat. So she has to sit with the same 2 girls everyday as they are the only ones is her year who are on school dinners. She doesn't dislike these girls but they aren't her close friends.

She likes some of the food but not the overcooked veg and there are a couple of days where she really doesn't like the meat bit of the meal.

My reasons are that I really, really hate making packed lunch. I am a single parent so it is just more mental load and more stuff to do each day. DDs are not particularly helpful around the house and I feel like I have enough to do nagging them to do every single thing every day. They do very little without being asked 20 times.

And it's a balanced meal that I don't have to think about. It's stuff like meatballs and pasta or bbq chicken and rice. Which means I don't feel guilty if I do pizza or fish fingers or beans on toast occasionally for tea.

And if I did it for one I'd probably have to do it for both.

So, AIBU to say no despite the tears?

Oh come on, it takes all of 2 minutes to make a packed lunch (also a busy working single parent), unless you're preparing gourmet meals then it's hardly a faff, just set your alarm 2 minutes earlier. At ds's school there are long queues for school lunches and they end up with hardly any playtime plus most of his friends take packed lunches and of course he wants to sit with them.

It won't be to hard if you dont worry about variety. I had the same lunch every day for 13 years. A peanut butter sandwich and two pieces of fruit. I'm in Oz where there is no school dinners. Maybe dont have to be as extreme as my dad but doesn't have to be to fancy.

My reasons are that I really, really hate making packed lunch

I make FOUR packed lunches every day. It takes less than 5 mins.

I think that is a piss poor excuse when it something that matters that much to your child.

I really didn’t want dd to switch to packed lunches until I realised how much money I’d save!

Anyway, I get her to pre-portion raisins/popcorn into little pots whenever she looks bored/whiney, I chop some salad veg up at the start of the week and make up sandwiches every two days when I’m making tea. Then it’s a 30 second assembly job into the box in the morning. (The box gets handed back to me every afternoon at the same time as letters/homework.)

Bagels are your friend - separate from bread, longer shelf life.

Still insisting dc2 has to wait for y3 though.

Go for one trial term. She commits to making the sandwiches or back on school lunches.

Just do one child and not the other this term unless the child is keen and old enough to take responsibility.

I’d take her to the supermarket and give her a budget and ask her to buy all the ingredients to make a weeks worth of healthy lunches. Get her to make her lunch the day before and keep it in the fridge overnight.

I would do it for your child if it makes them happier. It's not a massive job and for the bit of satisfaction it gives your child, I think it's worth it.

So many comments saying the OP should “just make the lunch” and “it takes two minutes”. I’d love to see you folks make a lunch and wrap and bag it in 120 seconds.

OP, say if she’s so keen to do it she has to prove she can be responsible and not be nagged about it. She has the rest if this term to choose a household task to do every day to prove she can make her own lunches.

No one gets packed lunches in this house unless they make them themselves. Result is my 10yo ds has been making his for at least a year, and can't believe some of his friends don't make their own. 6yo ds has free school meals and doesn't complain since doesn't want to make them.

So many comments saying the OP should “just make the lunch” and “it takes two minutes”. I’d love to see you folks make a lunch and wrap and bag it in 120 seconds

We DO. That is why we are saying it to her.

It's a sandwich and a piece of fruit, if you can't do it in 2 mins what the hell are you playing at?

I don't particularly mind making packed lunches but what drives me crazy is the "packed lunch police" at my kids school. Basically sweet things are only allowed if home-made and no crisps or packaged goods of any kind unless "judged" healthy. I've been known to take shop bought cakes out of the packaging and wrap in cling-film so they look home-made! I think it's really unreasonable they can't have anything sweet in the packed lunch as the paid lunches include a cakey type pudding every day. I have 2 fussy DDs so one gets a cheese sandwich every day and one gets a pastrami sandwich everyday. They would love school dinners but it would be £80 a month for the 2 of them and I can make packed lunches for a fraction of that.

My 9 year has packed lunch. It takes 2 minutes, it really isn't a huge deal.

It's just as boring to make 1 sandwich as 2 weeks worth so I Make up a load of sandwiches, sliced bread, rolls or bagels work well fill with grated cheese and pickle , chicken and cranberry or Ham and piccalilli ( no need for pickles etc but my lot like it) then freeze the lot in a big bag. Each evening put a desired number of sandwiches in a lunch box together with a yogurt tube, fresh or dried fruit and a bag of mini cheddars/twiglets/ oatcakes. Much less painful

DD always packs her own lunch. She washes the lunch box when she comes from school, then dries it and puts in new stuff. It's normally a brioche, dairylea cheese with bread sticks and a pouch of yogurt.
How about you tell her you expect this from your DD otherwise it's not going to happen? I'd still prefer the school lunches though.

What do you you have for lunch? Could you not just make double then and give it to dd then next day in a lunch box?
Maybe suggest that during the Christmas hols she takes responsibility for making lunch every day. If she manages ok you could trial packed lunches for a term.

I would do her a packed lunch as she has a valid reason for wanting them.
You're over thinking the time and fuss it would take. It doesn't take more than 5 minutes to make a packed lunch and she could help you.
All 3 of my DDs had packed lunches I actually found that much better than them having school dinners.

So many comments saying the OP should “just make the lunch” and “it takes two minutes”. I’d love to see you folks make a lunch and wrap and bag it in 120 second

What exactly do you think is difficult about it?

Seriously you say you would love to see us do it as if is some sort of challenge. It’s pretty damn normal to throw some lunch together in that time.

Just tell her yes, if she makes it.

that's what I did.

Lasted a term then they went back to school dinner!

My DD will only eat packed lunch, sure it takes a few minutes but I love the holidays when I don't make it at all.
She has v simple lunches. Usually a peanut butter sandwich, occasionally cream cheese. Or something like pitta if we have babybel or mini sausages in the fridge. Plus a carrot or chunk of celery, frozen frube, piece of fruit, something sweet (mini bag of biscuits) and a drink. Her pocket money is linked to her emptying her lunch box when she gets home and putting it in the sink or dishwasher.
I was going to suggest making a weeks worth of sandwiches and freezing them, as long as you choose suitable fillings this works fine.

Yeah I can put a packed lunch together in 2 minutes - literally. I do every morning as I can never be bothered the night before. Yeah it's a pain but so is giving my kids a bath but I've got to do that.

Yes it takes me literally 2 minutes to make one sandwich, whack in a yogurt, crackers and 2 pieces of fruit.It is not exactly a gourmet meal

I’ve refused to do packed lunches for exactly the same reasons: I’m an exhausted single parent and it’s good for the DC to have variety.

However, on your DD’s case it would worry me that she’s being separated from her friends. Not because she can’t cope without them for 20 minutes, but because of the bonding and conversation that happens at lunchtimes. So you could do what a PP has done and asking the school to review the seating arrangements, or teach your DD to make her own packed lunches, or make her lunches yourself, or just continue with the school dinners.

I would do it in your situation. The main thing is being organised and buying ingredients in. Make sure your dd says what she wants in advance. The actual making of the packed lunch is quick. I often do it around dinner time when I'm in the kitchen anyway. It's the changing of routines that makes it feel like a big deal.

I think what the op is saying it's another thing to organise, more items to remember to add to the shopping list and a lunch bag to take to school and wash up. I'm not a lone parent but I can imagine her unwillingness to increase her mental load.

It does take minutes to make a packed lunch. I make the sandwiches the night before whilst I’m already in the kitchen (sandwiches are simple things like jam, cheese or chocolate spread.) Sometimes if we have pasta bake for tea I save some and put it in pots for their lunch instead of sandwiches. In winter they have tinned fruit (they love pineapple) or grapes or apple. Then in summer they have strawberries or raspberries. I always make sure I have some tins of pineapple in the cupboard. I keep the sandwiches and fruit in the fridge then in the morning all I have to do is put the sandwich in the lunchbox with the fruit, a yogurt and some crisps and s drink.

I doesn’t take long washing the lunch box up whilst I’m doing the dinner dishes.

It all becomes autopilot and you don’t think about it.

Some very mean sounding parents on this board! It takes five minutes to make a sandwich, pop in a yoghurt, fruit and a drink. Not exactly rock science or hard work.
My ds at the minute gets free school meals until primary 3 ( Scotland ) I would rather take five minutes to make him a lunch i know he will eat and be able to sit with his friends than have him picking over the tiny portions of school dinner and coming home starving