To not want to do packed lunches?

[TickledOnion]

Just had DD1 (age 8) in tears because she desperately wants to move to packed lunches. It's all or nothing at her school. You sign up for a term of school dinners or packed lunches.

All her friends have packed lunches and they sit in a different dining hall to eat. So she has to sit with the same 2 girls everyday as they are the only ones is her year who are on school dinners. She doesn't dislike these girls but they aren't her close friends.

She likes some of the food but not the overcooked veg and there are a couple of days where she really doesn't like the meat bit of the meal.

My reasons are that I really, really hate making packed lunch. I am a single parent so it is just more mental load and more stuff to do each day. DDs are not particularly helpful around the house and I feel like I have enough to do nagging them to do every single thing every day. They do very little without being asked 20 times.

And it's a balanced meal that I don't have to think about. It's stuff like meatballs and pasta or bbq chicken and rice. Which means I don't feel guilty if I do pizza or fish fingers or beans on toast occasionally for tea.

And if I did it for one I'd probably have to do it for both.

So, AIBU to say no despite the tears?

they get £5 a week each to buy their own extras and sandwich fillings, then they just use the family bread/fruit. DD (age 10) spends most of her money on strawberries each week!

Sorry, what? What's wrong with buying extra when doing the weekly shop?

This wouldn't work for me as I work full time, do groceries online and my dc would rarely be in a shop. Sounds harder work than buying it when doing the shop.

My dc are independent teens and I still make their lunches. It takes 5 minutes.

We used to make a weeks worth of sandwiches up on a Sunday evening. Then they got frozen and in the morning it was just a case of grabbing sandwiches and sticking them in the lunchbox with anything else we were taking. It meant in the morning it really literally took 2 mins.

Why not do them in bulk and have her even sort the rest of her lunchbox out the night before so in the morning you just have to.pop the sandwiches. Take them out the freezer in the morning and they're nicely defrosted by lunch

I do them all on a Sunday. Ziplock bag with for example breadsticks and a mini muffin in then each day just add from the fridge a yogurt, houmous, salad etc and I get the small bottles of water. It’s really easy, dd has the same thing each day for a week but she doesn’t mind as obviously breakfast and lunch is varied. Takes just a few mins each week to do the bags and I just have a packed lunch stuff shell in the fridge to grab

Red didn't they go all soggy as they defrosted? I can't imagine they're nice like that.

Chapterandverse you quoted me, and for us they choose on the weekly shop - I’m a single (also full time working) mum so they just come with me and pick out their snacks while I’m doing the bulk of thenmain shop. Incidentally it means they don’t moan half as much!

Every couple of weeks my 12 year old makes up a dozen rolls, wraps them individually and puts them in a big bag in the freezer. Then whenever either of the kids want a packed lunch they grab a roll, a bag of crisps and a piece of fruit. Roll has thawed by lunch but is still cool. Easy and a third the price of a school lunch.

didn't they go all soggy as they defrosted?

I find defrosted sandwiches v slightly soggy but defrosted wholemeal rolls are absolutely fine.

She's 8, she can make her own lunch! All you have to do is buy the ingredients. She's asking you to understand that she wants to be with her friends; if you say no to this because you're a lazy git, will she come to you again in the future?

YANBU. This is an important lesson in residence for your DD. It's half an hour a day and food that isn't always the best. I'm sure that she can live with it.

Sandwich/scotch egg/ pasty / sausage roll.
Fruit.
Yogurt.
Cake bar /muffin.
Small pack raisins.
Drink.

If you premade the butties it'd take two minutes to fling in a lunchbox.

Add carrot sticks at your discretion.

Red didn't they go all soggy as they defrosted? I can't imagine they're nice like that

Nope not in the slightest. It was usually things like ham & cheese but honestly you'd never have known they weren't made that morning

Yeah I get this too
I would say if I can see a sustained and measured improvement in you a helping at home you have PL

Only then ..... see if she takes it on ?

I would give her a list of jobs and tell her tat if she does them without prompting, she can have packed lunch the following week. Then if she does them that week, packed lunch is on for the week after. Etc etc. If you have to nag her, deal over and she gets a school dinner. Follow through with that.

Buy a stack of rolls, ham/cheese/bags

Make up a batch and freeze them, pop them in a lunch bag with fruit a drink and some flapjack or similar if you feel like... then lunchbox making takes less than 1minute

I’m willing to bet it’s a better balanced meal than carb heaving School lunches

And abject horror at the idea that my bow nearly 12 yo ds make his own lunch... he’d clear me out of everything! I have to keep the fridge under armed guard as it is!

I timed myself this morning. It took me less than 7 minutes to make four packed lunches, and that time included feeding the cat, making the babies breakfast, and shouting at a teenager.

It is literally 2 mins of your morning.

But it is just two minutes, that is the point. Mental space my arse, if you can't be bothered then don't, but lets cut the bullshit.

I wasn't too chuffed with my daughter when she asked for packed lunch, but it is actually a LOT less hassle than I expected. They wash their own lunch boxes, and I pack it whilst waiting for the kettle to boil in the morning. Do a trial run, you might be surprised how easy it is.

don't understand how that is bullshit. Does she not have to do the things I just said? Does the shopping buy itself? Does the box clean itself?

Presumably they eat food the rest of the time, so the shopping is being done anyway, so that is hardly an objection. "Oh I have put three more items in my trolley along with the other hundred, how will I cope with the mental load!"
AND rinse a tuppaware container? My god, the hardship!

No, you're right, it's definitely far too much to ask for. I know I went for a lie down after I made 4 today.

I'm a single parent. it's not hard to make a lunch for a child. it's basic parenting! it's not even going out of your way.

It's 2 minutes when she is already stretched. really? it ISNT too hard to provide lunch for your child.

It's the mental space to remember to buy the stuff when you go shopping anyway, you buy bread, fruit, stuff.... Better yet, you online shop and THEY bring it to you..

to pick it up on the way out of the house erm... the kid is 8 - "Take your lunchbox and put it in your bag DD"

to buy a new lunch box when it gets lost My ds lost a watch in the house in less than 24 hours. he's never lost a lunch box, and even if he did, a plastic bag will do. He's forgotten to bring them home. It really ISNT a big deal.

to make sure the food meets the school's healthy eating fads Primary schools don't give half the shit that infant schools do, and actually, you have to go out of your way to fill a lunchbox with crap.

to clean the box when DD gets home etc DD's job. Absolutely non-negotiable, shoes off, coat off, empty lunch box and put it out ready to be filled.

Having a school lunch just meant one thing that didn't need to be planned for. or bothered with

School lunches are very often poor in nutrition, ALWAYS have 'a pudding' which has been the bain of my life since DS started school. Since when is a pudding essential??

Hardly '2 minutes of your morning' - but don't forget, lots of people on MN are very efficient and do not admit to finding organisation tricky. hmm

It's WAY less than 2 mins, WAY LESS. I'm not at all hyper organised, cling to life by the fingernails, and honestly, you get home, you get it done, stuff it in the fridge, or if you make the rolls in advance in one go and whack em in the freezer, it genuinely takes NO time at all.

this huffing and pouting just smacks of CBA, and that's not nice at all.

I also have an inexplicable hatred of making packed lunches. I've told my DD she's never having one - she's in KS1 at the mo so that's a financial decision I'm not paying when she gets a lovely mean for free (school kitchen is particularly good in our school) and when she gets to KS2 it will be because I truly hate making packed lunches.

I'm sorry but YABU. How horrible for her not to be able to sit with her friends at lunchtime because you can't be bothered to make her lunch. My dad made packed lunches for me and my sisters for fifteen years before he left for work every day!

And being a single parent is not a valid excuse - I am also a single parent and make my DS packed lunches. Do it the night before if time is an issue. Sick of seeing lone parents using this as an excuse - manage your time better.