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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my handbag to bed with me

245 replies

Ceebs85 · 18/11/2017 22:40

I don't like leaving my handbag with purse and car keys downstairs. I take it to my bedroom and keep it overnight by the side of my bed. This just seem common sense to me as if we were burgled they would be safer next to me.

Partner thinks this is ridiculous and takes the piss 'sure you don't want to take the TV to bed with you?' and other hilarious lines Hmm

Am I abnormal?

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 19/11/2017 10:26

Yeah many burglaries are opportunistic, they will take what is to hand and go.

The police always says that burglars generally don’t want to be disturbed or risk waking home owners, that’s why many burglaries take place mid afternoon.

FreshHerbs · 19/11/2017 10:32

If your going to get burgled then it’s just bad luck. You can’t stop it but you can prevent it. I’ve known people’s houses get burgled in broad daylight, houses with alarm systems, barbed wire on the fences etc . These criminals do not care, usually drug dependent and will do anything for their next fix. If a burgler picks out your house then that’s that doesn’t matter where you leave your handbag, wallets, etc
At the end of the day you still going to be traumatised, still going to have to go threw stress of rectifying any damage, still have sleepless nights.
I leave my handbag in the kitchen next to the fridge on a worktop, always have and always will, but each to there own. Some ppl feel safer with it by their side and some ppl don’t

Ecureuil · 19/11/2017 10:35

You have absolute no guarantee that a burglar who finds a bag downstairs will not come upstairs to look for more valuables, so that argument doesn’t hold

No guarantees, no. But a burglar who has quickly got hold of your purse and car keys and got out as quickly as possible (less chance of being caught), is less likely to come looking upstairs.

TatianaLarina · 19/11/2017 10:46

Not at all, it may encourage them to go looking for more.

If they just want to go in and out, if they go in and don’t find anything they may just leave.

RoganJosh · 19/11/2017 10:51

We had police advise us to leave car keys out of view of the door but easily visible once in the house, and between the door and us in bed.

gttia , you say ‘We were burgled in the night whilst we slept. I lost very little as my handbag was beside my bed. My dp lost a lot as everything he needed, keys, wallet, phone etc was downstairs. Now everything that is valuable comes upstairs, it was a frightening experience’
But I would take that to suggest that if both sets of keys and wallets were upstairs they may have come upstairs.

Most burglaries these days seem to be either of outbuildings or of car keys.

feral · 19/11/2017 10:52

My sister and her DH were victims of serious assault recently, in their own home, because intruders (3 of them with knives) wanted the expensive car and couldn’t ind the keys. Her DH may never see properly from his left eye again and was badly beaten. Sister was bruised as they went for him over her but she’s traumatised.

They kicked in the front door.

The thieves couldn’t find the keys cos he had hidden them following a previous attempt.

He sold the car the 2 days later for a loss on We Buy Any Car to get rid of it. They’re selling the house as they can’t stand being there now.

I’d leave the keys in sight and let the fuckers have the car. It’s not worth it.

Hulababy · 19/11/2017 11:25

You have absolute no guarantee that a burglar who finds a bag downstairs will not come upstairs to look for more valuables, so that argument doesn’t hold

No guarantees, but statistically less likely iirr, from what we were advised anyway.
As I said before - in our case they walked past, and ignored, laptops and tablets and other valuable and easy to sell on items. They were most definitely looking for car keys, specifically DH's car keys.

We had police advise us to leave car keys out of view of the door but easily visible once in the house, and between the door and us in bed.

We were given the same advice.
We also followed advice to change our locks, to ensure we always use our alarm and to make our house as hard to get access to as much as possible. Most of the burglars want to be in and out as quickly and quietly as possibly, esp when it comes to car thefts.

FairyDogMother11 · 19/11/2017 11:26

All my medication is in my handbag so yes I keep it with me in case of an emergency (if I need it urgently or in case I need to leave the house quickly). My keys are always downstairs on the hook which I pass as I come down the stairs, but I don't have a car. So I would say YANBU.

silentpool · 19/11/2017 11:28

I always take mine to bed with me. It's common sense really. When I was house sharing in London years ago, we were robbed and I was only only one that didnt lose anything.

Ecureuil · 19/11/2017 11:32

We had police advise us to leave car keys out of view of the door but easily visible once in the house, and between the door and us in bed

Yes, same advice here.

gttia · 19/11/2017 11:32

Roganjosh, yes I agree, but it will never stop me taking it all upstairs because of what happened. They took what they could lay their hands on and nothing more in our case. But I agree with what your saying. I think ultimately it's what you or I feel most comfortable doing. Having had strangers raid my front room at night whilst I slept, I feel happier with it all beside me upstairs. I don't think there's a wrong or right but it has made me think maybe I should leave a dummy set of keys downstairs, an old handbag and some out of date cards in a purse with change in so they can lay their hands on something if it ever happened again?

Fekko · 19/11/2017 11:34

Good idea. We have been evacuated more times than reasonable (long story) and I always grab bag, phone, passports.

jaseyraex · 19/11/2017 11:37

I was burgled about six years ago, before I met DH and had kids. I was only 20 at the time. Used to take my bag upstairs with my cars keys, house keys, work phone, money, all jewelry laid on the bedside table. 3 men broke into my house, came upstairs because they couldn't find my car keys (even admitted in interview they wouldn't have gone up if theyd got keys right away). I of course woke up when they came in my room. I was beaten up and threatened with my life and threatened with rape if I didn't give them everything. They got my keys, money, spotted my jewelry and knew I must have more valuables. It was horrific. I gave them everything. They got caught from trying to sell my jewelry online but I still moved house swiftly after that. I don't wear jewelry anymore except wedding ring. Car keys, purse, everything gets left downstairs at night. Not visible through windows or anything but visible once you enter the house. I'd rather they got everything than go through that ever again.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 19/11/2017 11:41

Nope, I’ve always done it, no idea why.

They wouldn’t be able to steal my car easily as we have in street parking so it could be miles away!

I have asked this question before and recived lots of Hmmthough so I think we are in the minority.

TatianaLarina · 19/11/2017 13:53

No guarantees, but statistically less likely iirr, from what we were advised anyway.

You think the police have stats on how many burglars went upstairs when they didn’t find stuff downstairs? It was likely just that plod’s opinion.

Oblomov17 · 19/11/2017 14:00

Our keys go on a hook in the kitchen. Purse stays in handbag in the lounge.

I haven’t been burgled. I’m sure it’s not nice. But I’d rather lose a car and house keys and other valuable items, rather than someone approach me in bed asleep.

They can have my car, if they are that desperate.

So, no. I don’t see the point of taking a handbag upstairs and keeping it by your bed.

BringMeCoffee · 19/11/2017 14:01

As other posters said, I leave mine in the hallway. Not close enough for someone to put a hook in the door but within easy reach that a burglar did not need to come into my bedroom to get what they wanted. I have been burgled whilst I slept and it is not a nice experience.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 19/11/2017 14:01

Jasey you poor thing, that must have been terrible. Flowers

Phalenopsisgirl · 19/11/2017 14:13

Generally thieves will take what they can as quickly as they can, so whatever is close to the point of entry. Going upstairs when they suspect you are home is extremely rare and unlikely so yanbu

Phalenopsisgirl · 19/11/2017 14:18

Your best bet is to just make sure your home is secure and you lock up doors and close downstairs windows. Generally thieves are opportunists and will not put too much effort in. Obviously if you have very expensive cars etc you are more likely to attract the kind of attack a pp described where 3 men deliberately targeted her for her car keys. Then more fancy security systems come into their own.

SquirrelTail · 20/11/2017 03:30

jaseyraex, that's absolutely terrible. How did they know you were a lone woman living there? How did they get in? Have you had any kind of compensation from them or your home contents insurer (if you had one)? Why did they want car keys, surely taking your car is the easiest way of them being caught? I thought most go for electronics and loose cash?

Catinthecorner · 20/11/2017 03:53

I pity the fool who steels my handbag. It contains: a dog clean up kit, a chew toy, a small blanket and a bunch of leaflets on volunteering.

Bonus points item: sometimes some sort of dog treat

Ropsleybunny · 20/11/2017 22:20

My friend had her bag snatched. It was an old bag and it contained dog treats and poo bags.

Sukistinks · 20/11/2017 22:41

I feel bad saying this, but would perhaps feel worse not saying it, just don't shoot the messenger.

If a burglar enters your house, easily finds your car keys because they are somewhere obvious, like on the kitchen side, kitchen drawer or next to the door and then steals your car your motor insurance may not cover the theft.

When you take out a motor insurance policy part of the contract covers 'safeguarding if keys'. It is up to you to keep your vehicle keys safely, meaning where an intruder isn't likely to find them.

I have spent years as an independent fraud investigator to the motor insurance sector and it is bloody awful having to tell an innocent family their claim may not be paid because they didn't safeguard the keys.

Also, (said quietly, because this always crops up after this information is given...) the old adage that insurance companies will do everything to get out of paying simply isn't true. Insurance is one of the most rigidly regulated industry in the UK and they aren't allowed to just 'get out of paying'. Read your policy documents, could save you a load of hassle and safeguard your valuables.

CakeNinja · 20/11/2017 22:58

To be honest, 'stuff' is just that. It can be replaced, regardless of financial cost.
I genuinely wouldn't give a toss at completely losing my car (which having checked is the number 1 most stolen) if it meant my small sleeping kids hadn't been beaten up and threatened.
Material possessions really aren't that important in the grand scheme of things (imo).