Dad taking dd to ladies toilet

[AdaHopper]

MN - help dh and I with a disagreement please.

When dd(4) needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies' loos. I told him that women don't like that and he should take her to the men's loo. Aibu or is he?

@MrsOverTheRoad I’d report your DH in a heartbeat. For Christ sake teach your kids not to be so stroppy that they would ‘refuse’ to go in the men’s toilets when there is no real reason for this.

it is literally that or wet myself

It is "literally" not. Your buggy is not a disability. Your children are not a disability.

I said this on the other thread.if toilets started being manned at the entrance and there wasn't the "option" of ladies or disabled what would your dhs do then.

Kids aren't some free pass to do what the fuck you like. Its the parents job to scope out the situation and plan in your head where to go and when. It's not everyone else's to put themselves out.

And yes things like peeing with doors open if your baby is asleep in a buggy are just things you have to do if it's that or disabled toilets.

Not a problem.of there's no men right?

I don’t think he is wrong at all, in fact I have told my DH that is our DD (2) needs the toilet and I am not around that he is to take her to disabled or designated children’s toilets. If they are unavailable then he is to take her to the women’s. I do not want my daughter in men’s toilets. I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to see men using urinals and from what my husband has told me, he is yet to find a men’s toilet cubical that I would be happy for DD to use. I find it hard to believe that any reasonable woman would have an issue with a dad taking a young daughter to the toilet in a ladies toilet. If DH was using it himself or just spending time in there then fair enough but for the purposes of making our DD comfortable in a cleaner space I think this is the correct thing to do. I don’t understand why any woman would be upset by this.

You don't see why women are upset that men create a problem by making a sodding mess and instead if solving it themselves it's put onto the some to sort it out?

Women are amazing

Amazingly accommodating but they have limits

Disabled people have one toilet to use. That is all. Having a child of the opposite sex, a buggy, twins, or any other of the feeble excuses that are dragged out time and time again, does not give you the right to use it.

To clarify, when I said accessible toilet, I did not mean 'disabled' toilet. I always thought accessible meant one that has been altered for people with disabilities, but also doubles as a baby change.

My DH can and will take them into the female toilets. If you don't like it then wait till they've gone.

If I went into a ladies toilet and saw your DH in there I'd turn round and come straight back out. I'm vulnerable enough, in the sense of I can't walk unaided, so there's no way I'd be staying in there. I'd report him too.

And in answer to the question of do you make your child go in the men's if she doesn't want to, yes you do if she's with her father and is too young to go in the ladies alone.

To clarify, when I said accessible toilet, I did not mean 'disabled' toilet. I always thought accessible meant one that has been altered for people with disabilities, but also doubles as a baby change

No it doesn't. I posted a link upthread. An accessible toilet is for disabled people. Baby changes are in them becauses buisnesses are lazy.

OK fair enough. Haven't rtft yet (on a few at once so read first few pages and then last few)

I'm vulnerable enough, in the sense of I can't walk unaided, so there's no way I'd be staying in there.

Fairy what does your vulnerability have to do with a father helping his DD use a toilet? What do you imagine would happen? That the DF would be overcome with emotion, disregard the child and pounce on you? Give men a little credit please

What like the credit they are given to be safe around in the men's?

I find it hard to believe that any reasonable woman would have an issue with a dad taking a young daughter to the toilet in a ladies toilet.

I find it hard to believe that any reasonable person would consider their children a disability and think they can use the disabled toilets because they didn’t plan ahead.

My DH would never take DD into the ladies but I’m comfortable taking DS into mens if I had too.
OP was a woman with said man or was he alone? He might have not wanted his DD going into the mens hence him going in the ladies. Who knows?

*If men's loos are so unsafe and disgusting why would women want them in theirs to make them equally unsafe and smelly and disgusting.

Does being a parent mean that a previously filthy man would wipe the toilet seat if his dd pissed all over it, remember to flush or clear up the shit his kid got all over the seat*

Very good point! To everybody claiming the mens are to dirty for a child, what do you respond to that?

How am I meant to know what some random man is doing in the ladies? He shouldn't be in there at all. So no, I'm not staying regardless of what he's doing and yes he's getting reported.

I’m at this thread where posters with actual disabilities, who have ONE option which is disabled toilets, have stated it’s categorically unacceptable to use a disabled toilet just because you have a child with you, and the responses have been ‘you’re wrong’. The sheer cheek and entitlement is astounding.

@Giles my objection to the men’s is not out of safety it is more out of cleanliness and the feedback I have had from my DH on the state of most men’s toilets

Didn’t you know Fairy that when men have offspring they lose the ability to become intimidating? No father ever did any harm to any woman ever, you hysterical drama llama you!

So why would these men who have trashed their loos be welcome in the ladies?

cherry

Clearly we don't need prisons any more we just need ladies loos. They have some miraculous properties that stop men being filthy or sinister and turn into model fathers and husbamds safe to he around small children and disabled women

So your children’s right to not smell wee trumps the right of women IN A SPACE CREATED FOR ONLY WOMEN to be safe, comfortable and have privacy?

People of MN - if your princesses can’t cope with being in an unhygienic toilet for 2 minutes then I suggest they never leave the house without a female in tow.

How the hell is one supposed to use the toilet with newborn twins by taking them out the buggy?

I’m not advocating using disabled toilets but the idea that you can just ‘scope a place out’ or plan in advance when you may need the loo and have a wee at home first makes a lot of assumptions.

There have been many times where had I not had quick access to a loo I would have been in big trouble. If I had had to deal with newborn twins at the same time I would have been fucked.