To leave DH over ruined underwear?

[Sprinklestar]

Ok, sounds dramatic, right?
But... We have been together years, known each other forever. Today, yet again, he washed my hand wash only underwear in the machine and ruined it. I have lost count of the number of times he has done this.
It is just such a waste and will need replacing. We must have had this scenario every year for the past ten.
It's like that thing on the internet about the man whose wife left him over a cup left on the side, its the constant drip drip drip effect and never learning.
I can't stand his incompetence anymore. How hard is it to check a label? And not mess with the stuff in the separate handwash only basket?!
I am so angry.

If you leave him will you find anything as good ?

Living alone is ALWAYS better than with a twat.

Argh Ttcjo, she wants to do it herself! He took them out of the washing basket and put them in with the bedding!

Whoever said "Keep them separate" is the new "cancel the cheque" is spot on.

Well, in summary, tell him that the next time he does it, he's out the door. And do it.

The number of posters deliberately missing the point in order to sneer at the OP and blame her for having expensive underwear is astonishing.

Since when did MN become so full of apologists for tactically incompetent men?

The number of posters deliberately missing the point in order to sneer at the OP and blame her for having expensive underwear is astonishing.
Since when did MN become so full of apologists for tactically incompetent men?

^^This.

But we're supposed to know our place, aren't we? Count your blessings that he doesn't beat you and consider yourself frivolous if you buy anything nice for yourself. Since when did MN have such low standards? To misquote SGB, the Mighty Penis does not equate to a free pass from sparing a thought for others.

I wouldn't hand wash anything either. I swear to God that I still have hand wash baby items in the bottom of my washing basket and my youngest is 31!

At least he does the washing. My DH doesn't even know what that noisy thing in the corner is for.

Why doesn’t your dh know what wmch is for?can dp travel independently?use iPad?
You allow him to act useless and guess what, no he’ll not use wmch cause you’ll do it
I despair that it’s said like a badge of honour,teehee dh can’t work wmch.

If that’s your only complaint, then stop buying hand wash only knickers!

Ffs, most people on here complain that their partner doesn’t help with the washing!

At least he does the washing OP! It doesn't matter that he keeps ruining your things! And that you have asked him not to - he's being helpful even though you don't want him anywhere near your expensive things! Be grateful even though they are ruined - because there are men out there who don't know how to use a washing machine! So suck it up and stop moaning!

FFS I really do despair.

Ffs, most people on here complain that their partner doesn’t help with the washing!

Then they need to raise their bloody standards then, don't they? Since when did this become a race to the bottom?!

At least he does the washing OP! It doesn't matter that he keeps ruining your things! And that you have asked him not to - he's being helpful even though you don't want him anywhere near your expensive things! Be grateful even though they are ruined - because there are men out there who don't know how to use a washing machine! So suck it up and stop moaning!

Fuck that. And fuck it again.

Any man with two brain cells can do the washing. And, no, we shouldn't be fucking grateful if one does.

It's men who don't wash who should be grateful that they haven't been kicked out yet.

How are there so many men who can't use washing machines? Did they all just jump straight from Mummy doing laundry for them to wife doing laundry for them? What do they do if Mummy/wife is ill or away - just stare in bafflement at the dirty clothes and the strange magic box?

I agree with you Lweji - I was being facetious, but that might not have been clear. Blame it on being driven demented by the bloody all men are useless so be thankful for your lot brigade

If that’s your only complaint, then stop buying hand wash only knickers!

WTF?! Why the hell should she stop buying things she likes, which she is more than happy to care for herself, which she separates from the main washing so they don’t get ruined, just because her DH can’t follow simple instructions?!

I despair.

Anyway, on the remotest off-chance that OP is still reading - YANBU.

Tbh its along the same lines as them forgetting your birthday or only buying you petrol station flowers but they put the effort in elsewhere.

You know they are capable of doing it but you... you're just not worth that extra effort.

Ex of mine ruined countless items of mine. Smashed a bowl my gran bought because he couldn't be arsed to move it yet he moved his own things, sorted his own items from the laundry that should've been dry cleaned and took them ignored that mine were ready to go, bagged, he left them on the side. Would chip my mugs (mugs are my thing, I have an assortment of vintage & hand thrown mugs. Eclectic yes) and he would always damage them. Never the mugs he loved. Then down to sorting his own packed lunches knowing I needed one too and it wouldn't have taken much effort to put the exact same stuff in a lunchbox for me.

Its low level grind of being treated like you have no value then spinning it around to make it seem like they are trying to be helpful.

OP I would be pissed if a partner ruined my undies. Most of mine are hand wash or can go on a wool wash with a few other items. I do what you do. Keep a separate box (washing up bowl I soak them in!) for it. its not difficult. My 10yo knows they are hand wash and not to load them in the machine!

Yes, I had a suspicion before posting and then confirmed.
Still, I aimed the rant at the idea, not the poster.

If you want something doing well do it yourself

SHE WAS GOING TO!!!

My first husband had an affair with my mate. Good reason for leaving him. I'd have been thrilled and amazed if he'd done any washing, as he was a lazy bastard too.
Some people really don't have any real problems if putting posh pants in the washing machine is their husband's only 'crime'.

My husband has never put a load of my washing on in the 11years we’ve been together!! Not sure he even knows how to use it

It baffles me how women can find such man-children attractive

For fuck’s sake. The idiots just keep on coming.

simiisme it’s not a race to the bottom. Just because your ex was a shit, doesn’t mean everyone else should accept anything at a slightly higher level than ‘shit’.
People who say their partners don’t know how to work a washing machine... of course they fucking do. They just don’t want to. I couldn’t take my partner seriously if they couldn’t work a simple piece of machinery operated by all sorts of people the world over.
Have some standards people.

How are there so many men who can't use washing machines? Did they all just jump straight from Mummy doing laundry for them to wife doing laundry for them?

I'm afraid this describes DH precisely. He would occasionally do a load at university but it would necessarily have been "chuck everything in together and hope for the best".

What do they do if Mummy/wife is ill or away - just stare in bafflement at the dirty clothes and the strange magic box?

That describes it pretty well. I don't think I've ever been away from home without DH for more than two nights since we were married, but on every occasion (including coming home from hospital with a new baby) I've come home to an overflowing laundry basket.

I don't really mind - though I have to laugh at myself putting a load on within a couple of hours of giving birth (hb).

He does start his own laundry from big work trips - If he's away for longer than ten days or so he'll usually find a launderette or falling that send stuff to the hotel laundry. When he gets back it's his responsibility to sort clean laundry from dirty and get the dirty washed, but I'll usually clear the decks so he isn't competing for the machine or working out what to put in to make up a load.

You can bet your fucking life I'll be teaching our sons how to use a washing machine, though! None of this "taking washing home to mum" bullshit that MIL enabled!

So, all these men who can't do their laundry or work out a washing machine, and never learnt it at home, are in low paid jobs because they are too dumb to learn a simple new skill, right?

Sorry, I didn't mean to say that dumb people are in low paid jobs. Just that these dumb men can't possibly hold on to a high responsibility, high skills job, surely.