To ask you to help me reply to 'are you still mad at me'

[Ilovecoleslaw]

Long story short; friends went on a night out without inviting me and we all went shopping the next day. I felt excluded from the night out and then the shopping as they went into shops without me, didn't wait for me etc. Basically felt like a taxi driver. One of the 2 friends asked how I was the next day and I said how I felt. Turnt into an argument with her saying I was excluding myself, I was on my phone all day and I wasn't invited on the night out as I was driving them to shopping the next day.
Full thread if anyone wants more info:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3078292-To-be-upset-friends-didnt-invite-me-out?pg=1&order=
Haven't talked since the last message which was almost 2 weeks ago, and we normally talk everyday. Last message ended with me saying I was just explaining my point, and her last message was 'point received'.
Forward to last night and she messages me 'are you still mad at me?', due me having no idea what to say and after a busy day at work I couldn't be bothered to reply. Just received another message from her saying 'cool'.

Now I'm stuck.
We used to talk almost everyday and I won't lie, I have missed talking to her at times, but I haven't been desperate to talk to her either.
I've been doing really well at work and trying to be more social (I would only say I have the two friends that I mention in my previous thread), and I'm going to my works Christmas party next month. Wasn't sure about going as I'm in a temporary position, but hoping to be permanent in February, and I really want to make some new friends so thought why not. General consensus of the last thread was that I WNBU and i need to make new friends.

And now I just have no idea what/if to reply and it just all feels really childish.
Please give me some wise advice mumnetters.
And sorry for the long post, think I've got everything relevant in there!

If either of them had wanted to invite you on the night out then they could have done.

They chose not to.

Because they decided that they had a use for you the next day and didn't want to risk you not being able to do it.

That wasn't what happened though was it? They wanted you on form to be their taxi driver the next day. She's already said that.

I really wouldn't respond again. She doesn't get it. She doesn't think she's done anything wrong as she doesn't see you as her equal.

You sound lovely, OP. I really hope you find some friends who appreciate you.

Dude, taxi drivers get paid

Hi OP. I remember your last thread as well. Well done for making efforts to make friends in other areas of your life.

Whatever you choose to do, remember that you were not in the wrong. Hold your head high and be proud of yourself.

She can't say sorry can she?
She's on the defender because she knows she's not been a good friend.
Leave them both to it because she doesn't care about your feelings and is probably on the phone to the other one as we type.

'Cool' is a good comeback - yes, repeat that back to her and then ignore any further texts.

Defence not defender!

Op they are not friends. I read the other thread. They treated you like shit. And they still don't respect you enough to apologise

It's the weekend. She needs a lift. Bet you anything.

Back away. You do have friends. You have a partner. A Xmas do. You have a life. You do not need them.

They are not friends.

“Mad no. Hurt, yeah.”

See what she comes back with.

I am going to go against the grain here. We often have different friends for different reasons. Someone to confide in, go shopping with or go on a night out with. One friend doesn't have to do it all. You could continue being 'friends' with this girl/s. but do it in a more self aware way. They are your 'friends', you drive and you all get to go out.

If making peace with them until you make more friends (well done on that by the way!), will make you feel less lonely and unhappy, go out with them when you have nothing better to do. That's fine if the only other option is sitting at home feeling everyone else is out and about.

But they certainly are not you bestest ever friends. Choose someone more deserving for that-maybe one of the new people you are making an effort to be friends. If you are really lucky you will meet someone who is your bestie and great fun...oh then they get married!

After reading your other thread, and her response, it would be a 🖕from me.

Find friends worthy of you OP

Step away from the drama!

Make new friends... move on....

Let her drop. I wouldn't bother anymore. You sent an unemotional, honest reply and she just tried to turn it round and say you don't value her as a friend! Just be prepared for more "cool" replies!

Concentrate on your work party and building new friendships. The hurt over this will fade, and you won't miss her long.

You are being used. These people are not your friends. I have been in a very similar situation and it is awful to walk away as you feel quite isolated and lonely but I can tell you from personal experience that it is better to find new friends than be treated like crap by some of the 'friends' you have.

Good luck

Drop her like a brick with the biggest spider on it you've ever fucking seen.

What a crank. Ask for petrol money and tell her to fuck off.

I’ve been taken advantage of like this, when I was much younger and single, with a car. People took advantage of me and I let them because I wanted to be liked. But I eventually started to feel that I should be wearing a chauffeur’s cap, except that chauffeurs are paid.

Real friends don’t do that.

Don't reply. They likely need your taxi services again. I remember your other thread as it wasn't long ago. They're not your friends. Let them go and use somebody else

When she next gets in touch (as she will when she needs a lift) just text "Premier taxi services can now be reached on [local taxi number]"

You don't need this drama and upset in your life. They are horrible. Good luck with the Christmas party

I think that this is one of those moments where it's the perfect time to walk away - you're already two weeks in and making progress, after all.

'Ah so you were lying when you said the reason I wasn't invited, was because you needed me to drive you both around the next day?' Or is it that now you have had time to justify your behaviour to yourselves, you have decided to rewrite history? Whatever! You have both shown your true colours! I won't be treated like the hired help! Find someone else to use as your personal chauffeur! You can enjoy every shopping trip and night out from now on, just the two of you! After all two's company, three's a crowd 😉. Let's face it, it's no loss to me! With friends like you.........'

That's how I would reply, right before blocking them both on everything! But I can be a passive aggressive b**ch when I want to be!

Didn't read your first thread but from pps have said about it - just ignore.
I'm in a similar situation - someone who always wants to tell me her woes and then buggers off til the next time something goes wrong. I'm currently ignoring her and she's on a love bombing campaign liking all my Instagram/strava posts which makes me think in a few days I'll get a 'woe is me' whatsapp. Which will be ignored.
Don't let people walk all over you op, because they will if you let them.
To quote Maya Angelou 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time' saves a lot of faffing around. I added the last bit
The 'cool' text was to jolt you into replying - don't be played either. Stay cool and calm and you'll make new friends. These people aren't friend anyway, I'm sorry

Ah shit, hadn't RTFT when I replied above, my bad.
So which is it then? That they didn't want you hungover and driving? Or she couldn't invite you to a friend's house?
Honestly op? If it were me, I'd text back nothing at all. or just ok or cool as I'm a passive aggressive bitch and would want the last word then block them both. Doesn't sound like anything will be their fault. If you continue to let them take advantage of you, you'll regret it down the line.
You could get involved in highly emotionally charged texts back ad forth but isn't your time worth more than that? You could be out making new pals.

She’s a CF turning it on you 😡

I’d be further questioning the driving the next day comment with her. And yep 🖕🏼 is also a good reply.

Honestly I think that talking of being hurt and upset and wanting an apology is putting too much emotional energy into a situation that doesn't have much hope if improvement. It's not like they ate going to start actually being nicer people. We have established that they aren't your friends and have been using you. Move on. Disengage.