Chocolate reindeer incident - who was bu?

[EscapeFromHubby]

Last night I was eating a chocolate reindeer. Had bought it a few days ago but DH wasn't overly pleased I hadn't got him one as well. Ate part of it then left it on the living room side table as I had to go out to the kitchen to do something.

One of the dogs then comes running out of the living room with foil in his mouth chased by DH was says dog has eaten reindeer. Great! My fault, shouldn't have left it on the side. But then DH and DD1 keep giggling about something.

DH and DD1 can be quite the jokers so I think they've eaten the reindeer and are blaming dog. This goes on for a while with them saying it was the dog, no it wasn't, they might've had a bit and got carried away and now it's gone, no they didn't really eat. So I don't know what they've done with it! I start looking around to see if it's hidden anywhere and DD1 starts warm/cold/hot etc. By this point I'm getting really pissed off. It's my chocolate and I want it back.

Then I have the bright idea that if DH has taken my reindeer I'll tip some of his beer away. I tell him this and head to the kitchen, get the bottles out of the fridge and open them. DD1 tells DH she thinks I'm serious and perhaps he should stop me but he doesn't, just more chuckling. So the beer goes down the sink. DH storms out, clearly pissed at me for tipping his beer away. Back in living room reindeer has magically reappeared on table untouched with DD1 trying to say it was there all along. DH then went to bed with the raging arse.

So WIBU to tip DH beer away in return for taking my reindeer (he did have plenty of chances to stop the joke before it got to that point) or was he BU for then getting arsey with me?

Your child seems more mature than you! Greedy git.

The whole thing sounds a bit mad to me but I'm quite surprised at how many mumsnetters expect all chocolate to be "family chocolate". Do you never buy yourself a bar and eat it without offering it around? Do you expect to have some of whatever your DP has bought for themslves? Or is it special because it's Christmas chocolate?

YANBU for buying chocolate just for yourself.
YABU for then eating it in front of family and not offering them any.
They were BU for the teasing about the dog and hiding it.

YABVVVU for pouring away beer in retaliation. Hiding it, maybe - it'd be very immature, but then so is this entire situation. Wasting it means that you obviously have more money than sense.

Ha ha, this is reminding me of the start of "The Twits" by Roald Dahl where Mr and Mrs Twit play worse and worse tricks on each other.

What else can you both do?!!!

Where will it end?!!!

YANBU.
We all have our own sweet/chocolate stash so no, I don't share.
Playing silly buggers with my half eaten chocolate bar would piss me right off but luckily, my DH would never act so childishly in the first place.
Being tricked just to give someone else a laugh isn't a joke. It's not kind or funny. It's just nasty behaviour that's normally perpetrated by children. Your DH would have grown up by now.

I'd have chucked all his beer away and then asked him why he wasn't laughing? 'Cos it's only a joke...

Bloody hell, is op not allowed an entire chocolate to herself?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, however the initial joke went way past the point of being funny.

How ridiculous.
YWBU to buy yourself a chocolate reindeer and not at least share it with the others or buy your DH and DD chocolate reindeer as well.
The entire thing is ridiculously childish.
Do real people actually live like this, having massive dramas over chocolate reindeer??

You’re married so all things are equally both of yours

Since when? I am married and all things certainly aren't equally both ours.

A friend of mine was married to a 'prankster' but it wasn't ever funny. She was told to lighten up all the time but what it really was was bullying. He laughed at her getting upset and it wasn't good natured.

It's only a joke if the other person finds it funny.

However, if it was a one off thing then you were being unreasonable. If he has a history of pranking you when you're clearly not finding it funny then I can see why you reacted the way you did.

eat it without offering it around?

The consumption of chocolate/treats without sharing appears to divide people, both on MN and in real life. At home, we would never eat anything without offering it around (or at least, making damm sure no one else saw it, solitary walk anyone?). When i read the LM Montgomery stories, I realised that sharing was a 'thing' and have enthusiastically maintained the practice.

One summer a cousin came to visit us, she brought a bag of sweets and ate her way through them all summer. When they were finished, she expressed disappointment and mentioned n passing that her mother had given them to her, as a treat because she was well, away. Note that she was away, visiting us abroad with no access to those highly prized UK sweets....but never mind, so I get that different families do things differently.

Now DH's family know that I love chocolate and that I limit how much of it i eat. They love to get me special chocolates for Christmas but every year we hit a stalemate. I open them and want to share them, they protest and say they would 't dream of eating any, they are my special present. I explain that they taste better and part of the fun of Christmas, presents and visiting for me is exactly to share with each other. I'm even finding myself resenting them, denying me the option to share.

Yes, I could have another box and share that but they also know that i don't usually buy them , so theirs being the only ones does make their present that bit special. Its not easy to find 'presents' ... Sigh.

I also don't believe that if I buy myself some chocolate I am meant to buy it for everyone else or share it.

It's ok to have something for yourself. DH could have bought his own reindeer if he wanted it so much.

Sounds like dh and dd1 joke around a lot. Tireseome if you are always the butt of the joke.

This just plain odd.

You were the one being U.

a) you were eating christmas stuff on 16th November
b) you bought a chocolatey treat thing that was big enough to share, but didn't buy one for anyone else, refused to share and didn't have the manners to wait and not eat it in front of everyone else if you weren't prepared to share. (FFS, my 4 year old understands it's kind to share treats if the person you are with doesn't have something!)
c) you didn't give a shit about your dog
d) you reacted like a stroppy teen rather than an adult

Chocolate is incredibly poisonous for dogs. I would ask your DH outright if he's lying, because you need to take your poor dog to the vet pronto if it did eat the reindeer.

Whether you or your DH are BU for eating it is completely irrelevant compared with the fact that you don't seem to care about your pet's health and are instead just getting stroppy that someone has eaten your sweeties.

I'm horrified at the idea that once you are married and/or have a kid, its somehow not acceptable to have something you like just for yourself, like you stop existing as a separate person.

I get that sharing is nice, but permanent mandatory sharing? Who was her husband expected to share his beer with?

Yabu for being so trivial about the potential poisoning of your dogs.

Also yabu for eating chocolate in front of others without sharing or getting them any.

I’m baffled by how immature a couple can be over a chocolate reindeer

"I'd have chucked all his beer away and then asked him why he wasn't laughing? 'Cos it's only a joke..."

Absolutely!

If it was a Lindt reindeer-they're tiny, aren't they?

Why would anyone be sharing one?

I'd happily eat chocolate in front of such "pranksters".

It sounds like you have massively overreacted to your DH and DD having an in-joke at your expense. Suggest you grow a skin. Wasting money spent on beer is a different thing to someone eating half your chocolate.

I feel like maybe this isn't about the chocolate. You managed to turn a funny family mess about into a big deal.

Do you feel like they gang up on you and exclude a lot?

Grow up

Fucks Sake, I delight in having a bloody great bar of choccy & a cup of tea to myself. I'm a grown up.

I may grudgingly give someone a piece if they yang long enough, but I'd rather not - if I buy 200g of chocolate then, by God, I'm planning on eating 200g of chocolate....

For those saying it's only dark chocolate that affects dogs, that's not the case. It's the amount of cocoa solids in it so a reasonably big bar of good quality milk chocolate would cause problems for a small dog. The toxicity calculator can be found at petsci.co.uk/chocolate-toxicity-calculator-dogs/

Basically, if you like cheap, crappy chocolate, it won't cause any problems. If you like decent quality chocolate, particularly dark, be careful as it can cause problems for dogs.

Well he only hid your chocolate but you actually tipped his beer but he was the unreasonable one for stropping off about it because your DD would have been so upset that her joke ended so badly and will be learning bad behaviours.

noone touches my chocolat

but then again id still offer it round or make sure everyone had a reindeer/whatever bar it was

thy shouldnt hav carrid it on but i wouldnt dare pour my dh beer down the sink esp if it wasnt open yet