to have just cried when DS told me this? (edited by MNHQ)

[ReallyNormalForNorfolk]

He's only just turned 7, and appears to have worked it all out for himself. Santa doesn't exist, does he mummy? It's just you and daddy isn't it? I honestly didn't know what to say. I don't like to lie exactly, and sort of changed the subject to how you can believe in things that you can't see - like love, different people's gods, etc. He then said religion was a load of rubbish and not true as he had never seen an angel come down from heaven. Fair dues, a rational analysis I guess, but I was hoping that this moment wouldn't be quite so soon.
He is in fact a very rational little boy, and I don't want to lie to him, and give him the time to make his own mind up - but I am sad to say I did shed a tear or two because it seemed like such a loss of innocence/watershed type growing up moment. I said "should we forget about xmas then?" No, he still wants the presents! I haven't confirmed or denied anything - just feel a bit awkward about it all -wwyd?

I don't think 7 yrs is too old for Santa are kids not allowed a childhood these days? My 8 year old totally believes. It is magical until they decide not when some misery adult says so.

I'd just say well are you sure that you don't believe because then maybe Santa might not come but I would say it laughingly so that he isn't sure of my response.

TBH the, shall we forget about xmas, response has really confirmed it to him but I'd still go with the above line going forward.

My children aged 6 and 7 have never believed in santa. My parents told me from the outset that there was a pretend man called santa and I did the same. christmas is still magical at our house - we just all pretend to believe together.

And speaking from experience here... (not mine btw!)

Many, many kids at about 7 feel "obligated" to join in with their parents constant insistence that FC is real, just so as not to upset their own parents.
Because they pick up on that feeling you have of "loss of innocence" or your insistence that xmas isn't "magical" without FC, and internally process that as having to fake it for your sake.

I don't think that's good either.
No kid should feel obligated to "believe" in something just to make their parents happy- whether it's a religion/a diet/ or FC.

Yeah I think it's a bit odd to cry.(not unreasonable but a tad dramatic) .I think kids believingin Santa is built up to be this HUGE dramatic thing that MUST happen in the adults minds, and is far more important to the parents than the actual kids in a lot of cases and all these big emotions are tied to these kids "believing".
If it's a fun game, then cool, but to put so much pressure and importance on a made up thing is a bit ott. Christmas is certainly not ruined because your kid figured out Santa isn't real

Aww...i don't even care if it's overdramatic...my eldest DC and I both got a bit teary when he decided a few months ago that Santa didn't exist (he was 10). Santa was a fun, playful thing in our house (never just about good behaviour and presents), and the believing was fun.
That said, it will still be fun...we'll still leave his key (no chimney), and put out mince pies and carrots...it doesn't have to be totally over!

It's still exciting to wake up to a pile of pressies even if you know that your mum & dad have bought them, wrapped them & stuck them under the tree on Christmas Eve!

You cried & asked if you should forget Christmas?

Why?

Your poor son-he's done nothing wrong!

Clever boy. You should be proud not sad. Well obviously you can feel however you feel, there is no should, but rational, analytical thought is a thing worth being proud of.

oh OP give your head a little wobble ...you really cried?

Look kids will discover the truth - it's up to you how you deal with it (you will have to field much trickier questions as he gets older!)

I have been telling DD3 (8 almost 9) that if you don't believe he doesn't come pretty sure she's twigged so it's a bit of a running joke which her older sisters join in but I wont be crying over it - it's still magical you know without Santa!

Shall we forget about Xmas? (then sobbing) was probably a real downer for your ds.

Value at about the age of 7 or 8 all of my kids were told by a friend at school that Santa wasn't real. It wasn't a miserable adult that ruined their childhood!

My kids are 19,18,13 and 9. They all believe in Father Christmas, the same way they believe in the tooth fairy. They know I believe too. It doesn't matter that FC is not real as such . It is based on folklore/religion/magic/paganism etc......but they all understand that to believe is a choice and it adds to the magic of it all. Every year we sit on the sofa on Christmas eve and watch Miracle on 34th street and I can honestly say that we DO believe in Christmas. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don’t think santa has anything to do with paganism!

oh and Father Christmas bring a stocking - I buy the presents under the tree - so no worries about not getting presents - I have never understood giving the man in red all the glory!

I got a stocking from my mum until I got married at 31!

I knew at five having discovered my letter to Santa hidden away not posted. I asked my mum the read and said there is no Santa is there, she always told me the truth when I asked directly and replied no there is not. I think it is better just to be honest if asked!

I maintain that everything is 'real in the story'. Why ruin things? Well it backfires when you have to assert that something is really real, not just story real. (Mermaids = real in the story, sharks = really real. But he really real ones can't talk)
So far I've said 'what do you think' re santa, and they've quickly found something better to do because they want to believe the story. I tried really hard to rationalise santa as a kid, believing it's a story is much healthier!

"Should we forget about Christmas then?" wasn't a great reaction

My eldest worked it out by 7 and she and dc2 were a hive mind at that point - there was no point suggesting she not tell him as he always knew what she knew, keeping secrets from one another was alien, so he knew by5 and didn't seem surprised or disappointed, nor of a "well that makes more sense" satisfaction.

My youngest still believes at nearly 7, but he's a bit of a magical thinker and also the fact the older two play along as if it's really probably means any doubts he might investigate are quashed because if dc1 and dc2 believe it it's probably true...

I do realise what makes for a magical Christmas, it just isn't always possible to make people join in with all the warm fuzziness

The problem is though, is that one persons "warm and fuzzy" is anothers idea of hell (and I mean that nicely!)

My Nan's idea of a family christmas was properly horrible, if we had it at her's we'd all be chivvied along into doing it exactly her way.....if we didn't then we were "ruining the magic of christmas" (her exact words!) and treated to sulks and fussiness (not saying you are like this btw!)

As an adult, with a child of my own, my idea of a warm and fuzzy xmas is still a billion miles from my Nan's!

We do different things, at different times, and have different traditions, a lot of which involve simply sitting around, playing games, chatting, and eating random stuff....she would be horrified!!

We might go off and do different things, we might all hang out, we might have a "proper" dinner, or we might just eat cheese and drink fizz all day.

But we all get a christmas we wan't, in our own ways.

You said

"Shall we forget about Christmas"?

I get you OP. My DD is 3 / 4. I absolutely adore her hysterical excitement that Santa has left snowy footprints on the floor, Rudolphs eaten the carrot and Santa has brought her presents and I will be sad when that stage is over.

My 5 year old has quizzed me with interrogation skills which has led me to believe he was high up in the Spanish Inquisition in a former life! He’s already asked if Santa is real. He’s far too rational and intelligent. I think this will be our last Santa year! It makes me a little sad I thought we would have more- it’s just not as magical I suppose!

and I don't want to lie to him
Surely you've been lying to him for 7 years though...?

DD 25 ( and me) still believe but we have never been good enough to get a real Santa present because only really really good people get them. Which is also why he manages to deliver all hi presents on Christmas Ev

OP - I totally totally understand why you cried. I would too.

Its not kids being told by other kids thats the issue. Its the totally cold mothering of many of the mumsnet massive whose kids are obviously too logical and intelligent to believe the hype. This is a total indicator of class and totally necessary to know their parenting is a succesd. In their homes little phoebe and miles wrap their own gifts in tree bark, which must be educational, organic or free trade, alongside the compulsory charity 'build a well in uganda for johnny' gift which has specifically been chosen by said child because they can understand how lucky they are to get said educational boring toys alongside a satsuma and lump of cold. Nothing to do with the parents at all.
Of course instant gratification doesn't happen nor should it. The luxury of m and s will make it more bearable however.
Fucking hell sounds well depressing glad I'm working class (what with my PhD and all)... I'm off to nethuns for father christmas magic with extra glitter....
God I missed 2 apostrophes. My opinion is therefore invalid anyway.
Enjoy dividing the turkey and stretching it to feed a family of 6, two neighbours and the homeless community. I will be getting pissed and thinking of your fun

Once the game was up,I made a big fuss of sharing the real secret of Christmas, that the grownups make the magic for the little ones and now my DC can help make magic. Also swore them to secrecy around 'little ones' and classmates who.believe.