To be feeling a bit sick at the thought of another Christmas alone?

[orangelemonlimegin]

I promised myself last year this year would be different ... of course it isn't.

(Please don't suggest voluntary work. That's not what this post is.)

@winterstail that’s what they called themselves! Tongue in cheek, obviously. They were happy occasions :)

Is the rest of the time okay or is christmas just when it shows. In not alone have kids half of it but shudder if i have ever been invited anywhere because they think im alone Id rater watch Netflix

Where are you OP? You can come to mine in Leeds if you live near.

Some great advice in this thread. Christmas Day is horrible for a lot of people but the decision re what to make of it is solely in your hands. Have any of the suggestions been good enough to consider do you think?

I get it. volunterring is not the same, neither is spending it with friends or travelling.

Many churches have a meal for those alone maybe you could find one?

If it were me, I would do as the other poster suggests...nice long walk. Treat myself to something I have been wanting. Plan days with good shows to watch, books to read, load up on my favourite foods...hot chocolate, wine, chocolate, biscuits, cheese, truffle salami etc. Just basically do all the things I like, sleep in etc. Christmas with family is not always what you think it is....it also involves stress, fights etc. Of course not always, but don't think that people who spend it with family always have the best of times. A lot of people can not stand christmas and do not enjoy it.

I can't imagine spending Christmas with people who kind of feel obligated ie friends, or even worse with complete strangers. I completely get how you're feeling OP . It can be a really weird day.

This is the kind of thing I meant - there would just be a few other people there and you could take your mind off things by learning something. You wouldn't need to participate and it's only a short walk, not a long trip with strangers. If the idea of the guide and others doesn't appeal, find an area you like and go for a wander.

If you're not happy, you will need to look at ways you might change that - but Christmas Day is hard enough; don't put pressure on yourself to do it then!

www.manchesterguidedtours.com/manchester-christmas-tours/

Maybe us Christmas day loners can have our own thread on MN? Somewhere we can chat/moan/cry/get pissed/laugh with others in the same boat who 'get' it.

It would be a nice gentle way to socialise and share the burden of a difficult day.

You should seriously think about spending a week in venice, it is magical at xmas markets loads to visit and by oneself.

I can highly recommend it. Book a cheap Ryan Air flight now and there is a Youth hostel on one of the islands if you want cheap or you can book a hotel if you prefer a bit of comfort.

Also if you have time there are trips t the mountains you can take and Lake Garda - it really is magical

Anyway, if you want more info and advice just let me know :)

@JanetStWalker

Great idea. Put it in your diary to start on Christmas Day early. Well it was your idea lol!

Remember lots of people can be lonely and lost in a crowd/amongst happy families/ under orders to be happy.

If you start it, I will probably be along to join in. Not in the exact same position as OP, but I detest the shite of Christmas Day, but nod, smile at the right time, and am absolutely delighted when it's all over.

I usually get a bit of a tummy bug about 8 oc. and repair to bed and leave them at it.

Each to their own. Grief and missing important people can do that.

Christmas is over sentimental rubbish OP, we are all conditioned from birth to think Christmas is this wonderful snowy time that we spend with amazing relatives and friends - is it heck! It is all commercial nonsense designed to make us buy expensive toys and gifts and live the dream which never actually happens in real life.
Unless you are actually a christian and want to celebrate Christ's birthday in church then what's it for?
It never ever lives up to the dream and is usually very disapointing.
I am alone at Christmas quite a lot by choice and spend the day mostly watching tv in my pyjamas and doing various hobbies I have on the go. I might get a bottle of wine at the go but mostly ignore all the sentimental slushiness and enjoy whatever films are on.
What you need is one fantastically cosy room in your home, I repainted the living room, got a new sofa and decorated with warm rugs and throws - Matalan is great for this as now it's cheap and my living room is now super homely.
I just hide in there all day relieved to get a day off on my own.
I'm pending xmas with family this year and it's nice but I'll be utterly exhausted by the end of it and will look forward to getting back to my nice cosy home.

Join the "I hate Christmas" group on facebook. There are plenty of people alone at christmas on that thread and it's very entertaining. I'm on there too . It has got me through many a long day.

Do you work? Can you work on Christmas Day? When I couldn't be with my family at Christmas I actually really enjoyed working on Christmas Day it has a very different feel to normal working day and the comaraderie (sp?) Is excellent then when you go home your Christmas box set and nibbles seems so much more fun.

Come on people, it's quite clear from her posts that the OP doesn't have a husband and children (yet, if that's what she wants!), so stop asking where they are as if she's hidden them away!

I misread the post about her husband and children. No need for the lecture.

@OP there are six weeks till Christmas. Are you in any clubs or do you have any hobbies?

I find all the tv Xmas adverts depressing as they always show the 'perfect' Xmas with lots of generations sitting around a large dining table full of an abundance of delicious food with glittery decorations all around and everyone having wonderful fun and full of happiness and laughter.

I'm not sure this is the reality for everyone. Certainly not for me

There's not a chance in hell I'll be up early enough to start it, cathyclown. I'll look out for you later on in the day though, we can pull a virtual cracker and have a drink moan

Not a lecture in the least, just trying to stop the OP from having to spell it out again. This isn't about you!!

Christmas can be wonderful but it can also be utterly shit. I HATED it for 10 years straight after losing my mum. If you don't fancy going out, the Facebook "I hate Christmas" suggestion sounds like a great way to have some interaction and hopefully a laugh without actually having to face new people at a difficult time.

But where else do you meet people? mainly work and hobbies.

It stops the pressure about awkward small talk, you get to know people before you get closer.

I have a few London friends, slightly different culture than mine, who joyfully match people constantly. It's quite sweet, and they have a few weddings under their belt!

Spending Christmas with friends doesn't have to be awkward either. Some groups go skying together for Christmas, it's not all about "Happy family". The single ones quite enjoy not having to be in charge of children and make the most of it.

@Janet,

Looking forward to it.

I may have name changed by then, but your title will still work. "Hello all the Christmas Day Loners? Or something similar.

I reckon lots will be the same. You might have started something really good there for many people.

I don't do SM, so FB or Insta pass me by. No wonder I am so ahem.... sensible lol!

I also usually spend Christmas alone, though tbf it doesn't bother me like it bothers most people, I'm used to it.

For the day itself, I'd recommend a few films and an Indian takeaway or something, they're almost always open on Xmas and usually surprisingly busy. Or, as pp said, go on holiday. I've done that and it was good, though it does depend on having the time and funds.

For the bigger issue - and I do get where you're coming from with social stuff, I have ASD - but I'd recommend taking classes. Martial arts, yoga, trekking holidays, anything to jar yourself out of the rut. It's easier, I think, to meet people when you're taking dating out of the equation. You have things to talk to them about, and you get to know them in a more natural setting. And even if you don't meet a partner, you make friends who might know someone perfect for you?

Whereabouts are you op? x

Not unreasonable at all.

Even when I've spent it with family historically, there's been times when
I felt lonely and sad and miserable (I.e ones when I'd had painful break ups not long before)

It does tend to accentuate however you're feeling about your life tbh - if things are going well, it's ace and a cause for celebration, if you're not, then it just highlights how you feel.

No words of wisdom but loads of empathy and hugs. Fingers crossed this time really is your last and that you find someone awesome next year. Xxxx